How to learn to stop thinking about work all the time?

[wysiwyg]

So I am after some tips for how to not completely switch off about home life when working. I seem to find it very difficult to think of anything but work when working and consequently I am always on the backfoot at home, when it comes to food shopping, sorting out appointments, just planning anything really.

I used to work with someone who would forget to pick up her son occasionally, and I always thought how would that be possible but now I can see that if I wasn't strict with myself about leaving work time - that could really happen to me too. It is like the world outside work ceases to exist while I am there. I get in the car to come home, and suddenly realize that, I have a DH and two children, and I have no idea if we have any food in the fridge and I have failed yet again to make the optician appointment etc. etc. I could easily make phone calls on my lunch break, or think about getting some food etc - but it never occurs to me. I have tried setting an alarm on my phone, but it always just seems to go off when I am in the middle of something important and then I postpone it and suddenly is the end of the day again.

I have always been a bit like this, but in the past it mattered a lot less.

Currently I am having to do hours most evenings, and get emails all day on my day off too (two days a week), so even at home I find myself thinking about work all the time (I am sick of this so I am not renewing my contract but I still have a month to run).

How do I learn to discipline myself so I give both aspects the attention necessary?

[Mumma T]

My best way is to have a lunch break, be it 10 minutes or 45 minutes. In that time do things like your making those personal calls or make a shopping list.

Studies have shown you are actually more productive for taking a lunch break. So it's a win win and if people can't wait 10 minutes for you to have a break then they need to be reminded it's not brain surgery you are performing.

[briggsy's girl]

I wouldn't remember anything if I didn't have a diary open beside me. I've gotten in the habit of tracking everything (started when I had to remember medications doing IVF etc). If I don't have it, I lose myself. If I make notes in it I remember what has to happen (even of I'm not looking at it!).

If I think of something and can't write it in my diary at the time, I email myself at work so that I add it to my diary as soon as I get to work next day....

It's about the only way I remember stuff to be honest. Give me a few days off work where I don't look at diary for some reason and it all goes to hell!

[AnyDream]

Ok, I'm going to come back and reply to this when I get more time. I think there are a few things that might help.

[wysiwyg]

My best way is to have a lunch break, be it 10 minutes or 45 minutes. In that time do things like your making those personal calls or make a shopping list.

Studies have shown you are actually more productive for taking a lunch break. So it's a win win and if people can't wait 10 minutes for you to have a break then they need to be reminded it's not brain surgery you are performing.

I always have lunch break is usually about 20 mins, and I sit down and have lunch (eat main meal of the day at lunchtime) in the lunch room, and chat to colleagues - maybe I need to set my alarm to go at lunchtime to remind me while I am sat there before I go back to my desk?
Other people aren't really the problem, no one is hassling me all day,(although there are totally unrealistic deadlines to be met) it is me rather than other people that are the problem - there always seems to be something I have to figure out or finish - so I put stuff off and then forget. I remember lunch because I start feeling sick if don't eat and also other people are normally going for lunch so remind me.

I do keep a list of things to do, but it is the looking at it and doing the stuff that seems to be the problem. There is zero phone reception in the room where I sit, and you have to leave the building to get the mobile to work (there is no desk phone - well we have one in the room between about 12 of us) - I think that is a contributing factor. Along with the fact I am a contractor and I get paid by the hour and have to submit my hours every week, so I suppose I am very conscious of time spent on personal things, and also there is very much the expectation of 8 working hours in the office. But I need to switch my mindset somehow.

[milly5]

In my diary, I have two columns (I did try two colours but could never find the right colour pen). Each day has 2 columns in it - left for work stuff, right for my/family stuff. and if it doesn't get done, it goes on the next day, like a to do list. As soon as I get to work, I add the things onto an "appointment" in outlook that is called "to do" and I set it for the start of each day, and then just dismiss it for an hour if I can't get to some of the items on the list, but it keeps popping up so is a constant reminder.
I often email myself too (from home to work and from work to home) to remind me of things to do.
Could you stay back for 15 mins each day - not to do work, but as your "closure" time and prep for your next job - your family one. use that time to get yourself sorted for what you need to do - shopping list, phone calls, whatever it is that is needing to be done that day.
Good luck - it is so hard being a working mum, isn't it, much harder than I anticipated (and so much harder than being a working dad - don't get me started there!)

[wysiwyg]

The 15 mins would work for a different location (which fingers crossed should be soon), but where I work currently if I leave 15 mins later then I can end up with a 30 min delay due to traffic, and I have to make childcare pick up. ( Beginning of day is too early for phone calls) Maybe it's more this particular job than me. Afterall I have worked 3 years post children now, and although have struggled with this somewhat never like this current contract. Driving is definitely part of problem too I think, as I can't think in car like do on PT, and I used to be able to pick up bits at supermarket on way home.

[Astrid]

I keep track with the calendar app and a note app on my phone. I set reminders with some notes, which can help a lot
Some mornings after arriving at work I will sometimes sit in my car and make a phone call or two before heading in. Great for making appointments. (which I know does not work for you now, but may later).
Sometimes I farm it out to DH deal with if it is too much for me

[MummyNaomi]

I often do a lot of phone calls etc from work - I tend to email myself (from home usual, from my iphone when I am thinking of it so I dont forget) to remind me - and leave it unread in my inbox until I've actioned it
To keep up with shopping etc I do my grocery shopping online and have it delivered (you can arrange to have it shopped and pick it up yourself on the way home too) - you can add to the online list as you think of it and then submit it once the list is complete (eg a week later)
I agree with taking a lunch break - I tend to miss tea breaks but will sit at my desk and eat lunch and do my own stuff - banking, bill paying, phone calls etc, often I will shoot off an email to friend to organise catch ups etc
I still do forget things though

[wysiwyg]

I have decided to stop beating myself up about this and just put everything on hold till this contract ends at Easter - and just aim to do better with the next job.

I tried that shopping pick up once, I had to wait 20 mins!! I could have virtually done the shop in that time - so I have never tried that again. I do dabble with online shopping from time to time - if could get reception on my phone at work and edit list might work better, as a contractor I don't really feel that I can be seen to be doing any non-work stuff even if is during a break - one day I had a cut off on online shopping at 11:00AM but had not put a load of stuff on it, and thought could update from work when I got in at 7:45AM - but someone else came in early and called me in on a meeting and it never got done so I ended up paying delivery charge to get only half what I wanted!!!