Criteria for being classed as single if still living together?

[Starfish]

Hi

I was wondering if anyone knew what the criteria are for being considered single if you and your ex-partner are still living at the same address?
My children's father and I applied for this once but were assessed to still be a couple. That was a couple of years ago and I would like to try and apply again. Does anyone know what we have to do or say? We have separate bank accounts and don't do anything together other than attending parenting things for the kids...

[PumpkinZulu]

It is soooo in depth. DH and I did this for a few months years back. He ended up just moving out lol. You need to provide proof of complete financial desperation (no joint accounts) desperate food shopping, separate bill paying. Family and friends need to be able to back up the fact that you're not together. It's reviewed often too. More trouble that it was worth for us.

[Starfish]

Thanks. I was afraid of that...
I pay all the bills, do all the shopping, basically do everything except for looking after the kids, which we share. But on the flipside, we haven't really told anyone because we don't talk to people irl...

[trishalishous]

yes you can be separated under one roof, but you usually need statements from friends and family to say that you arent in a relationship, just sharing a house to co parent.
no joint finances or sharing meals etc, and you need to prove that you share bills evenly (bank statements showing that you are paying half each on the accounts.)
and if you DO reconcile, centrelink has been known to allege that you were together the whole time, and raise a debt. (one woman had another baby to her ex, so clink deemed that as in a relationship and made her back pay 2 yrs of PPS)

[Lenny]

Did you try a couple of years ago before you had your second child or just after?

It sounds like you have a relationship of sorts - not what you used to be or want necessarily but you have chosen to remain living together and act as a family. You haven't told anyone IRL.

You still have him in your signature on BB which seems at odds to being completed separated, but living under the same roof.

Is he is your boarder? Maybe you need to go through the process physically and mentally of making this more official?

[LimeSlice]

It really is not that hard. You don't need statements from anyone at all - you put their name on the form and CL will contact them to confirm you have split up as a couple.

Once you see the forms it is plainly obvious what they want you to say.

Complete separation of bedroom arrangements - sex, sleeping.
Preparing own meals, although we till ate dinner together and this was not an issue as we ate with the children.
No joint banking accounts and separation of bills.
Division of laundry and bathroom, so you are not washing each others' clothes, and you both clean the house and do the chores for yourselves...

Honestly, not that hard if you actually HAVE separated - not just not romantically intimate any longer, but actually split up.

We did it for 3 months, and had absolutely no issues in having it approved.

[PumpkinZulu]

We did it for three months as well, and had to have it reviewed twice, by the the of time we were asked DH just moved out. We were very clearly separated, everybody knew, we hardly even saw each other because of his work and study commitments...maybe it depends on your age, or area, who knows. But from my experience, it was a huge amount of work for not much benefit. I felt like all I did during those three months was hang at CL.

[LimeSlice]

Should probably also mention that I think have an actual plan for physical separation would help = knowing which of you is moving, a plan or goal on when. It is not a permanent arrangement, so if you can say this will be for x length of time, until whomever moves out, or is in a financial position to move out, then that definitely make it less likely CL will be on your back.

[Starfish]

Thanks for your replies everyone. It is all really helpful.
Lenny - You're absolutely right - we do have a relationship of sorts and are trying to work out what to do about it, as whatever we have is definitely not working. I didn't mean to imply that I want to apply for separated status right now, I am just looking at what options I have.