Seperation Anxiety

[kyliej]

Two months ago I started back at work 3 days per week.My daughter Meghan is 12 months and I put her in child care for two days and she is extremely clingy towards me and she is head butting the floor.When I am with her she wants me to hold her all the time, I can't get anything done, I couldn't even get changed this morning.I didn't want to have to resort to putting her in the cot every time I needed to do something.Toys and new objects don't grab her attention for longer then a few minutes.

What can I do about her headbutting.I'm worried she's really going to hurt herself.

Please help.
Kylie

[BellyBelly]

Kylie,

Seperation anxiety is very common at this age - with babies, as far as they are concerned if you are not there, you could well be at China for all they know! Playing games like 'peek-a-boo' help lots as it shows them that mummy might go for a sec, but she'll come back.

Also, remember this is just a stage and part of normal, healthy development. Lots of cuddles and reassurance are great and if you can just allow her some extra at this time it will really help - it wont spoil her - she'll get past this developmental milestone - you just have to ride it as best you can. Good luck!

[Ambah]

Hi Kylie,

My son was also suffering from seperation anxiety at a similar age (about 14 months old)
It would happen when I left him at the creche in the gym for an hour, and he would just scream and cry, almost the whole time until I came back
However, he is much better now, and barely worries when I leave as I think he has learnt that I am going to come back.

Hopefully with just a little more time and perserverance Meghan might settle into her new routine a little better. She sounds like a sensitive little soul, and we have to remember that all babies/kids are different, so I dont think she is being too abnormal in her behaviour.... but I know it must be so hard for you to watch her banging her head and stuff.
Hopefully things will get better soon for you both...
Please hang in there!

[Melinda]

Oh, I know how tricky and upsetting this can be!

Jacob has suffered with it quite badly too - if I left the room to go to the toilet or whatever, he would follow me sobbing and trying to cling to my legs. If I tried to get dinner ready, he would lay across my feet in the kitchen, crying! He can still be a bit that way with dinner time as it's his ratty hour unfortunately! So it always makes preparing dinner quite stressful.

Jacob spends the best part of one day a week with my Mum and it took around 7 - 8 weeks for him to adjust to being there. He was screaming and crying practically the whole time on a couple of occasions but now, he loves it and has a great time with Nanny! Only a couple of tears when I leave, which he is very easily distracted from.

I have read that separation anxiety can be very common during developmental milestones - is Meghan learning to walk or anything like that?

Unfortunately there's not a lot that I can suggest - peek-a-boo is great, but most of the time they simply want you and to be cuddled. As stressful as it is and how you usually don't get much done as a result, I found cuddling him was the best thing.....at least that way he felt reassured about his environment.......