Hi..
I was looking for opinions on whether it is important to actually like your FS or is being a good technical doctor enough.. Do you have a lot of contact with the FS or is it mostly the IVF nurses that you deal with?
Thanks
Dee
Dee, the bulk of my contact is with the nurses - i honestly see my FS as just the figurehead that says which protocol, what drug strength, and then hands you off to the nurse for pretty much everything else. I see him at egg pick up, transfer, and appointments about "what's next", while i have dealings with the nurses for everything else
the nurses hand out the meds, tell you when to do what, they call you with updates on results (BT's and U/S), the nurse or embryologists call with fertilisation results and progress, book all appointments....
i would think having a FS you respect is important - sometimes their "bedside" manner is a bit gruff, and i know of some people who find their doctor as a person unappealling, but as a doctor, they have huge respect for his skills, so continue to see him as their specialist
It is 50/50 for me but liking my FS was a big thing I did not like the first one and was in tears after most visits and could not get any answers. I do hope you find a comfort zone soon
hey dee.
well we have only ever seen our fs the day of meeting him and then on the day of EPU AND ET but apart from this we always deal with the nurses.(prettey much everything BG HAS SAID shes a good girl to have around here i luv her full of answers for us all and there always right )
good luk hunny
Similar to BG and Smithy, we only had an hour long initial consultation with my FS and then see him on EPU and Transfers each cycle. He also calls after each cycle depends on the result to have a quick chat re next step (I think he is trying to save me some money but that works for us as this is only our second stim cycle). Most of the time is to deal with the nurses. I have my regular nurse to deal with which is great.
I do think it is important that you trust your FS and confidence in him, so you are comfortable with whatever decision he makes for you.
I really like the nurse and FS I am currently with. When I was first referred to FS, my GP just took out his phone book and got me to see a dr closest to my home. After seeing this doctor he recommended ivf (cos my DH has anti-sperm antibodies). Since he was also working for Monash IVF, naturally we continued with him. He was not bad but he hardly ever explained anything regarding treatment options for us. I didn't know the difference between day 3 and day 5 transfer until I went to my second and current FS. I agree, it is very important that you trust your FS. He answered all of my questions and often weigh up the options with us.
My MIL had organised an appointment with a different FS for me and after the 2 appointents I had had with the first FS I was trying to decide whether to see someone else.. I have decided I will keep this other appointent and have already organised my test results to be there when I arrive.. Having done this I now feel more confident and I guess that is a good thing..
Thanks again.. I can't wait now til the 20th.. That's my new appointment but it's also my birthday so maybe that's an omen..
Take care
Dee
For me I agree with the others, its about trusting your FS, and for me that includes liking them so I can as the 'dumb' questions, although we prob do have more to do with the nurses than our FS - although we have our FS's mobile number and can ring her at any time with questions etc - which is good.
However, for us, it was far more important that DH liked our FS! DH was so uptight about the whole IVF thing that if he did not like the FS, IVF was not going to happen! Even now we have moved 300km from our FS, and there is a closer clinic, DH will not consider moving as he does not want to go through finding a new FS that he likes - boys!!!!
I personally need to like my FS. I need to have someone I can trust so that I can fully leave myself in their hands and be confident they will make all the right decisions. I also need to feel that they care about me (even if they don't!) and that I can ask any questions. I also need to feel at ease with them.
Our first FS I didn't like at all, for many reasons, his plans and his bedside manner.
Our current FS I REALLY like. At EPU I was so nervous and he completely put me at ease telling me everything was going to be ok, giving me a pat on the back, making me feel like i'm not a stupid patient and that he knows everything and I know nothing, like I can ask him any questions and i'm also confident in his abilities given his wonderful reputation and experience.
So for me personally, everything matters with my FS. As the other girls have said, you do mainly deal with the nurses and I REALLY like the head nurse but am not keen on the other nurses. They're all friendly but it takes a lot for me to fully trust someone and I don't have that trust with the other nurses, but I have complete trust in the head nurse. I'm sure the other nurses get annoyed with me because I only like to talk to head nurse about certain things, but I don't care.
You have more interaction with the nurses, so it's definitely important that you like them, cause it can make all the difference in the world sometimes to have a smile or supportive words. But while technical competency is obviously important in an FS, it's important that you can talk to them, since they will be devising your 'plan', and you need to feel comfortable asking all sorts of questions - the nurses can't always tell you everything. Bedside manner is also important since they'll be dealing with you at some potentially very fragile moments. I disliked my FS and it really made things harder when things didn't go well.
Good luck for the 20th (and happy birthday)
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