Is your life on hold while ttc?

[Kahlan]

Hi all,

DH and I have been TTC since 2004. By 2006 we discovered that we had to go down the IVF path. Since then I feel like my life has been put on hold. Has anyone felt the same? We haven't had a proper holiday because.... "well we just wait and see if we are successful this time cos we don't want to spend that money just in case.." I can't go off and find another job because well that would be too taxing on my time and energy which I can not afford.... Recently I feel like saying "stuff it". I have enrolled to do my doctorate which my family thinks I am nuts with so much going on at present (on the ttc front anyway) but I feel I got to continue living or else I will go crazy .. God sometimes I think I've already gone nuts!

[jmmum]

Kahlan,
Yep! I felt like my life was on hold while doing IVF. You are constantly at appointments and waiting waiting waiting. I stopped treatment in June this year and although i really wanted #2. Apart from the disappointment that there won't be a #2 it does feel good to have my life back. I'm in the process of planning our first holiday with DD which should be great.
Having said all that it does sometimes get a bit much and your life is often on hold. But I think with time that can be reconciled.
Maybe take some mini breaks. It's amazing what a weekend or a few days away can do.
Good luck!!!

[CeCe]

Hi Kahlan,

It's just so easy to let it dictate so much of my life. At the beginning of the year DH and I discussed holidays and for various reasons neither of us has gone ahead and booked anything. Him because of work commitments and me because 'I don't know where I'll be a with a cycle'.

I was staying in the same job because it was convenient and would provide good Mat leave conditions but I've realised I'm not happy in it and staying for that 'just in case' moment is not doing me any favours in the long run. I've almost decided to take up study to change careers as for me I need to feel I can have a happy future if we are not successful with IVF. I hope a happier me in life will make the IVF road a little easier.

[dusty]

I have enrolled to do my doctorate which my family thinks I am nuts with so much going on at present (on the ttc front anyway) but I feel I got to continue living or else I will go crazy .. God sometimes I think I've already gone nuts!

Congrats hun! a big step forwards for you Wishing you all the best with it.

Yes I can relate to the whole life on hold. I even put my work on hold this year for the first time, well ever.

If you would like you can come and join in the LTTTC/AC Support Group in the Social Groups area (everyone doing LTTTC/AC is welcome in this group) where we talk about these sort of non medical pressures on us due to LTTTC/AC. Many many of us can relate to your feelings. It sometimes helps to share them.

xx

[farmgirl77]

Hi Kahlan,
Congrats on your decision to do further study - hope that it all goes well - what a huge decision to make! DH and I have put off some things - a holiday etc, and I decided not to take a new job because of TTC (mat leave provisions where I currently work are good), so yes, i think its normal to put things off. But I also think that it is ok to do that as well, and in fact you need to to stay sane - so I guess for me it is the balance - how to we manage to keep going with some of the things we want to eg study, but say no to some of the other things such as I'm putting on hold taking over my in law's farm books. I've also committed to getting a horse once I finish study. Getting a horse has been a lifelong dream, we now live in the country, but I've put it on hold because of TTC - now i figure 'stuff it' - worse case is that i'll get on, fall pg and the pony and I can both get fat together!

Good luck
FG

[Kahlan]

thanks Dusty and Farmgirl... studying is just a way for me to stimulate my brain...mind you it might take me 10 years to complete it... If I fall pg well... studying can stop if needed be... but for the time being... it's another part of my life other than IVF...

CeCe and Jmmum, yeah, I am planning a trip to Cairns in a few weeks time... regardless of our next cycle result.. I really need a break... you know, sometimes when trying to be so brave I don't often know how all this is really affecting me.