Opinions on how long to wait before trying for another..

[PhoenixsMummy]

We have a 4 1/2 month old and we are talking about having the next one.

My husband has some 'issues' with his testes and they need to be taken out as he is in a lot of pain.... As it is we had a 2% to ever fall pregnant and we fell the first time we tried with the bub we have now.

The thing is, I have found a great part time job and I wanted to be there a little while so I can take maternity leave (I dont care about the paid maternity leave, I just love this job and I want to go back to it)

So my question is, do we just start trying now or do we wait another 6 months.

I also have a very judgemental mother and if I fell pregnant now... i would dread telling her.

I just wanted everyones opinions so I can draw some light on what really matters....

Sorry, bit confused.

[MamaPan]

Hi PM
I think you need to do what is best for you - dont worry too much what your mum thinks/says as this is your family and your baby.
I woudl think that with the job you would still receive maternity leave (you would need to check the laws in NT) if you are there for a yr - how long have you been there for now?
And if you do not care about the paid leave but more to have a job at the end of it, they may be ammenable even if the law is not on your side. You sound like a real asset to the company.
Your husband's health is a really important point here, and so the timing may not be ideal in everyone's mind but it may be the best thing for you and your family in the longer term
do you have some help there for the baby(ies) - i would think it will be hard with 2 so small. Though i know there are girls on here with babies that close who love it!
Good luck with whatever you decide with your DH.

[PinkPalace]

i think yes it is up to you!
We ttc and fell preg #2 when DD was 7 months.
We are very happy to have them close together.

We get comments (mostly strangers - family are supportive) of oooh they will be close.
And i say.. yes we planned it this way and it usually shuts them up.

i didnt want to be pregnant forever lol.. and so would rather go gung ho and pop them out so they are close in age and DH and I can get our careers and lives back on track sooner rather than 10 years later (if there was a big gap).

[Beach Mama]

I agree with the previous posters. You need to do what is right for you, it is nobody elses business or decision to make. I got pregnant when Izzy was around 7 mths old too and we are so excited that our 2 little ones will be so close together and such great friends. I am lucky enough to have been able to qualify for mat leave again in my job - so I worked up to 34 weeks in a job I love. Keep in mind it might take a few months to conceive and then you can work up to whenever you like so you may still qualify.
Good luck with your decision and remember it is just that! YOUR decision!

[Jesska08]

I had my DD2 when my DD1 was 2 years and 10 months old


i found it a perfect balance as she was old enough to understand that mummy needed a bit of quiet time sometimes, that u have to be gentle with the baby, and she often ran around and helped me get things such as nappies and wipes etc!

also now thats shes 3.5 shes even more help! and as shes getting older shes getting very good at being quiet when needed, at sharing, and doing other sisterly things

its beautiful!

[Indadhanu]

I think thats completely up to you, bugger family who criticise. We are the opposite, would rather wait til Jazz is 2 or 3 before trying for the next one, and we're getting criticism from people saying "wouldn't you rather them close together" "they wont be close" and comments about jazz getting used to being the only one and being spoiled. Damned if you damned if you don't..... just forget everyone else and make the decision thats best for you :hugs:

[PinkPalace]

Damned if you damned if you don't.....

lol leasha! you really cant win. Just proves people are just nosy and rather put their 2 cents in to disagree regardless of what we choose hey!?

[Jesska08]

I keep coping the "omg u cant wait that long!" when i tell them i want to wait another 7 years or so to try for a boy! because i want a career, house etc.


but i think it would be a bit easier have a 10 yr old and 7yr old girls and a baby! they would understand alot more!!

[Jas]

It's a big decision and I think only you guys will know the right answer. There are obviously things to weigh up on each side.

If you would prefer to wait but it is the pain that you DH is in are there any options with storing sperm etc? So he can have them removed?? Or with your part time job how long do you have to work there to get the maternity leave? If you worked up close to your due date (which would be a bit easier because of pt) how long would you have to wait to start ttc so you would be eligible? If it's still ages perhaps you could approach your employer and ask them if you were to have another baby before the time is up for maternity leave would they keep your job for you??