Need some toddler strategies!!

[Nai]

We are now only a couple of weeks away from giving DD (almost 3yo) a baby brother or sister and really need some strategies to help us as she is really turning it on and stressing DP and I out! (Ok mainly me)

Some of the things she is doing include
- Not wanting to go to childcare anymore and crying when she is dropped off which is very out of character
- Not wanting to sleep in her own bed at night
- Not wanting to eat anything that is dished up
- If she does ask for something then she will have 1 bite
- She didn't want to visit her Nanna on the weekend (very unusual)
- Speaking rudely and angrily to people including her other Nanna
- Sulking
- Being very clingy

We totally understand why she may be acting up and know that it's probably only natural but need some strategies to help us all survive

Any advice? Or do we just need to harden up?

[christy]

It all sounds perfectly annoying & yet horrible to live through.

The most important thing is to be calm. Remember that she is 3 and doesn't know how to process everything yet. With Matilda we made a bed in our room for her to go if she needed to sleep in our room. We also did a few things about childcare, I would go early and sit with her and play for 30 minutes and set a timer, when it went off I would say "Goodbye my sweet I love you" and walk out. I always phoned 5 minutes later and she was happy.

Matilda didn't eat dinner for 2 months when I was pregnant with Jovie. We developed the 20 minute rule and set the timer for that as well.... that way I didn't stress, we gave her enough time with dinner, and if she didn't eat, well.... not much more I could do about it. It was stressful at first because I would offer her 3 meals, and fret and fuss over her not eating, a few weeks after I stopped fussing, she started eating. I also noted her favourite foods, and made sure to make those every other day. Or as a part of the meal for that night.

The nana thing is definately a phase as well. If I am around, Matilda won't talk too, or acknowledge grandma. But if they have alone time, they get along great. So I make sure I remove myself from the situation and it works really well. Everytime Matilda is supposed to go to Grandma's she refuses, but she always has fun, so I ignore it and just say "thats the way it is".

I don't tolerate rudeness. Saying "I don't want too" is one thing, and I don't consider that rude, just saying what they think etc... but if I hear someone being rude I would say "That is not on, I will not hear anyone being rude to another person. What you said was xxxx and that is not allowed, do you feel zzzz? " and I try to work out why she is rude and then I try to encourage her to be polite by teaching her the right words to say.

Goodluck it can be frustrating.

[Nai]

Thanks Christy, I might try that with her food. She is particularly bad at breakfast so if she doesn't eat it within a certain time then the dog gets it - at least he appreciates getting food

We are not putting up with the rudeness - if she is then she is told that is rude and that she needs to say sorry. If she doesn't say sorry she goes in the corner. She often refuses to say why she has said/done something that she knows is wrong though which is also a battle

[Olive]

awwww nai just wanting to give you a will come back later as im about to go out!