I hate feeling this way but can't help feeling jealous....
I've just gone back to work full time since Feb and my 1 yr old is in day care. He's doing great and learning heaps and really likes his carers. They also like him heaps and enjoy having him around. They say he's a social, happy and is no problems at all. I'm so glad to hear he's doing well in DC. At the same time, I can't help but feel jealous that they are spending so much time with him and getting to know his personality traits and then telling me about him, what's he like.. Shouldn't I be the one to know him best? Well, the things they tell me, I already do know, while it's nice to hear feedback about his traits, and how he mingles with other children without me or DH there, I cant help feel sad that they are getting to know him much better and I'm stuck at work and only see him first thing in the morning and then at night, when there's just time for dinner, bath and bed. One of the carers absolutely adores him, I know it's silly but I'm scared he won't love me as much cos he doesnt spend as much time with me...
I was with him for a whole year, it's so hard to be apart from him now and have someone else enjoy special moments w him.
I'm back at work, with no choice but to do 5days..
I sooooo get where you're coming from! I too was very very jealous to begin with when Charlie went to daycare. It seemed like his carers were experiencing all these things I was missing out on, and I was worried that they'd know him better than me.
Those fears actually turned out to be unfounded. I'm still the one who knows my little man better than anybody, and I'm still the one who he wants and loves most. They never forget that you're their mum, and trust me you will be the one who will witness his major milestones in the end.
hun, I know it's hard, but you'll both survive it, and your relationship won't have changed because of it.
i would imagine that a lot of mums and dads feel the way you do regarding child care.. but ultimately, in the end you are his mum, and you will always have that connection with him.
i dont have any advice for you, as i'm not in the same situation, but im sure you're not alone
god, i am in exactly the same place as you are now. i started lachlan in full time day care 4 weeks ago as i got a full time job and i am soooooo jealous and sad..... i ring up at 12 every day to see how he is and i stay about 15 minutes every afternoon when i pick him up so i know all about his day...
god, i am in exactly the same place as you are now. i started lachlan in full time day care 4 weeks ago as i got a full time job and i am soooooo jealous and sad..... i ring up at 12 every day to see how he is and i stay about 15 minutes every afternoon when i pick him up so i know all about his day...
But I have a great Nursery. And DS loves me most - believe me, children do NOT forget who their mother is (even if they forget exactly whose name belongs to whom) and who loves them most. DS has had two women fighting over who gets to be his key worker! They run to be the first one for a cuddle with DS when I drop him off in the morning! And DS still loves me the most.
I still know DS best, even though I'm full-time. I'm still the one he wants. I'm still the one he runs to, the one that he belongs to, the one he kisses goodnight... we're still together, still going strong. Nursery doesn't stop that one bit. In fact, it's made our relationship a LOT better: he didn't sleep last night so is having fun with RESTED adults today while I drink coffee and calm down!
So I think of Nursery as a good thing NOW. But I didn't in the beginning.
thanks so much kate and rhf..
it's hard isnt it... i just feel so bad missing out on things that are important to him, his milestones etc. but well not really missing i guess, cos i get to see these things at home too. but you know what i mean. spending more time with him adn do things w him... i guess this is what we have to do for now. he's happy at day care and has carers who adore him.
like kate, i spend time in the morning abt 10mins when i drop him off to chat w the carers and see how he's going.
he's doing well, doing all the art work and stuff and mixing w other children etc.
I'm jealous.....
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hun, I know it's hard, but you'll both survive it, and your relationship won't have changed because of it.
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