Ohhhhh first of all I feel your pain I really do.

I have not curly more like kinky, dry, very grey extremely frizzy and so incredibly thick hair and I HATE it. It is almost permanently pull into a messy bun because I cant do ponytails either. I would take out someones eye if they came within a metre radius of me!
If I happen to have an hour spare to straighten it properly it is awesome and to be fair does last a few days BUT I also have psoriasis so the tell tale snowflakes soon give me away forcing me to wet it again. I dont bother in summer as straight hair and sweat make for a lovely frizzy hairline - not a look im awfully fond of.

You name it I have tried it over the years but I think I may have finally semi tamed it.

I dont brush it at all anymore - I finger brush it in the shower but thats it.
I dont towel dry it anymore - I use old cotton teeshirts to wrap it up in. Towel drying encourages separating and the frizz, we want the curls to stay together!
I only wash it once a week - I wet it everyday but unless I need to I stretch out washing for as long as possible trying to keep the natural oils
I do a warm oil treatment once a week - half a cup of any warmed oil but rice bran is really good (just happened to have it in the cupboard) thoroughly soak through your hair and wrap in old teeshirt. Or like PZ in gladwrap first if you want to sleep in it, but I usually aim for at least an hour. Rinse out wash and condition normally - no brushing, no towels. Very hydrating for dry hair.
I also use a tiny bit of coconut oil through the ends when I style (hahahah put in ponytail)

Now it is by no means magazine worthy but I am feeling better about it, it is certainly feeling better and the frizz is manageable. Moisture is the key with frizz so if you can replace as much of that as you can it really does help