Lea- you have awsome hair lady! Don't cut it, its ace! Leave it wild woman.
Product is the key...... that and never brushing it when it is dry. I use a wide tooth comb in the shower and then that is it.
It is a bit of trial and error. My hair is curly but very fine. i use alot of different products, infact i am the self proclaimed product queen!
Sunsilk make a decent cheap curl hair product.
Loreal do a decent more expensive one, hair care shops sell it- can't remember the name. I used to use their curl control "system". Shampoo conditioner, treatment and product.
There are alot of expensive hair products, many of which i have tried, but not many that are any good.
I have also heard of people using a leave in conditioner, but that makes my hair a bit greasy.....
I know your frustration, but last time i lost it over my hair and cut it off, i regretted it. Now trying to grow it out!
ETA- is the baby hair an all the time thing, or just since you have had a baby IYKWIM?
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