All three of my girls have started shaving their legs at 11 1/2 and were able to experience having a few foils put in. I believe in choosing battles and shaving legs is definately not one of them.
DD1 (although only 4) is also very dark and hairy so this is something that I do think will be an issue for us going forward as well. I shaved my own legs when I was about 11 and regret it so I would definitely be talking to her earlier on and discussing waxing etc to remove the hair if it is upsetting her.
The hair would be a different issue though and I do think 9 is too young. I was allowed to dye my own hair when I could pay for it - so at 14 when I got an after school job, I took myself off to the hairdresser
Hello there beautiful Anila, as you know I don't have a daughter but I think the veet cream with the rubber razor is a good comprimise to start her off with getting rid of leg hair. I can't remember when I started shaving my legs (maybe around 12?) but I do remember a girl who was Yugoslavian and her legs had very dark hair on them a few years before that. I don't 'think it's a problem to start her out at 9 years old if they are dark and she is having a problem with them... Waxing on the other had is still too painful for me The only thing getting waxed on my body is my eyebrows the rest is shaved, personally I hate the idea of having to wait till my leg hair grew back long enough to wax so I just shaved heaps, it doesn't take long and I'm happy with that method. As for the hair dye, I agree with many of the others, 9 is waaaaay to young, if I have a girl she can put a rinse in her hair when she's in high school and nothing permanent until she leaves school and pays for it herself
It's always difficult Anila & I think it's wonderful that you are seeking out some help to form your opinion...
Personally 9 to dye her hair is absolutely a no go zone! I believe that we shorten childhood too much now days... She has the rest of her life to dye her hair & let her look forward to doing that.
I also think 9 is too young to shave/wax. However, I am blonde with hardly any hair so I cannot know how it would feel for her. I would try & stretch it out a little longer. I also would perhaps try a different tack? That we humans grow hair & it's normal to have some - that when you reach puberty it can get thicker & then as a young Woman she can decide if she feels comfortable with her hair or not. Then there are methods of removal - waxing is by far superior to shaving... (I have never shaved always waxed)...
It's difficult if she is conscious of how much hair she has but perhaps trying to help her see that we are all different & she is beautiful with or without hair? Good luck
my mum made me wait until I was in high school (13), I had thick blond hair. Very self conscious about it. She took me to a beauty salon one evening (it was dusk - lol I remember!) and got them waxed. Only the bottom half though. I think she wanted me to have them waxed everytime. She was very disappointed when I found her razor and dug a great big hole in my shin.
Just a thought, could you try bleaching the hair on her arms and legs? I've used those bleaches before and they're pretty gentle... Might be a good interim alternative for a little while... GL
i was 13 before i shaved my legs, and even then, i did it behind mums back, naturally she found out and i got into a lot of trouble for it. Then she hid all the razors for awhile then evenutally she brought me some but wasnt very happy about it.
I wasnt aloud to dye my hair. period. I left home when i was 16.. one of the first things i did was dye my hair jet black
I think her shaving her legs at 9 might be alittle younge but you said she's a dancer and i can undertsand that. I think when DD is in high school then ill let her shave her legs but if she really really wants to eralier (depending on how much earlier) then ill probably let her, i know what its like to be held back over something so stupid.
as far as dying her hair i think 9 is too younge. Again i think ill make her wait til high school, ill probably try to put it off for as long as i can.. its so bad for your hair
I spoke to my mum last night she was shocked that this was even in discussion at our place and told my dd that she thought she should wait and gave her all the reasons like growing back darker etc..
She was concerened that a cream is chemical based and she is too young for that
What we didn't tell my mum was the emotional reasons behind wanting to do it
we have two months till she turns 9 so I guess we still have time to make the right desision
as for foils in her hair hubby has said no not for a long time he also told her she is not alowed to date till she is 40 lol
I really appreciate the repiles it's good to have an idea of what other mothers have done or will do !
My DD1 dyed her hair & removed the hair on her legs for the first time in the days leading up to her year 6 farewell, so she was 12. It was almost a rite of passage for her; she was leaving the primary school girl behind. She didn't do a permanent hair dye however, just a semi permanent that has now faded.
I recently tipped Dudies hair, seems puberty has started early for him and he's quit mature in many ways ect. He turns 10 in July and is getting very concious of how he looks ect. I really dont mind.....its only hair and it will grow out.
Dee I love, love LOVE how you have made a 'deal' with your DD in regards to getting her legs waxed. I think that is awesome.
I wasnt allowed to dye, pierce, wax me legs...let alone breath half the time. It pushed me away with the control issues in my house and put a bigger wedge in my relationship at the time with my parents and I left home at 15 with a bad taste in my mouth. I dont want my own children doing the same. I think we need to listen and trust our children sometime with what they would like to look like and let them express themselves and allow them to develope into the person that they have stashed inside, even if we dont like it.
Anila...your a wonderful mum for doing the 'research' and trying to do the best. well done hon
My DD has just turned 9, and I wouldn't let her dye her hair or shave/wax her legs yet. We'll be waiting until she leaves primary school for the legs, and I hope to convince her to wait until she's left high school for the hair dye, if possible.
I think it would be a shame to "normalise" waxing/shaving so young - if one child did it, others would probably want to follow suit at that age. Perhaps we (as in the societal we) should work harder at letting kids be kids, no matter what they look like.
I would start her on waxing.. as when she is 25 she will have much softer hair and there is a chance of less..
Coloring her hair. i was 16 before i was allowed to.. and it was ok , I was a figure skating dancer.
I did have to wait till i was 11 to pierce my ears.. and I will do the same with my DD.
If some of this pressure that she is feeling has come from the cheerleading side of things, maybe you could get together with a few other Mums and see how they feel about it? I'm not sure I like the idea that the cheerleading is putting that pressure on them at such a young age, because they are meant to have hairy legs at 9 kwim? However, I had really dark leg hair so I'm sympathetic to how she is feeling about it I even shaved my arms too at one stage because I hated it that much and it wasn't even that bad in reality! It was just how I perceived it. maybe you could try some natural bleaches like lemon juice and sunlight to help lighten the hair on her legs? I was 11, nearly 12 when I started shaving them so the longer you can get her to hold off the better. That said though, the woman who waxed my legs had a client who had just started taking her 8yo for waxing because she had dark hair too and she said that there is a much better result when you start that young, but I think that it is far too young IMO. It's a tough one though
As for the hair, well that is easier. If you feel that she just needs that extra 'zing' for her performances, could you get some of those clip in hair extensions and you wouldn't even know the difference if you get the really good quality ones.
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The only thing getting waxed on my body is my eyebrows the rest is shaved, personally I hate the idea of having to wait till my leg hair grew back long enough to wax so I just shaved heaps, it doesn't take long and I'm happy with that method. As for the hair dye, I agree with many of the others, 9 is waaaaay to young, if I have a girl she can put a rinse in her hair when she's in high school and nothing permanent until she leaves school and pays for it herself 
but if she really really wants to eralier (depending on how much earlier) then ill probably let her, i know what its like to be held back over something so stupid.
well done hon
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