Honestly it's been almost a year and I still check my kids are breathing in their sleep, in the car even out when I'm babywearing. One of my DDs was on DH's back in the shopping centre in such a deep sleep I panicked and started sobbing and practically tore her out of the baby carrier to check she was alive. Everyone stared but I didn't give a ****, I needed to make sure she was alive.
I often dream my other kids will die and it causes such am panic for days that I barely eat or sleep and am just a shell of who I usually am.
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