I also didnt want to read your devistating story and not respond. I dont have advice it must just be hell. Maybe talk to the people around you and tell them you need them. Huge hugs to you and your DH.
At peace little Bella fly free with the angels. xxxxx
whitedoves, I am so sorry for your loss. Congratulations on the birth of your precious daughter. I wish so much she could have stayed.
Everything you are going through is normal. Grief is severely debilitating and sometimes it's hard to see how you can survive. I think it gets worse in that 3-5 months afterwards, when everyone else has moved on and can't cope with the fact that your baby is still dead and you are still devastated. If you can get out of bed and have a shower, you are having a good day.
I have lost two baby boys and yes, you can survive this. What choice do you have anyway? You have children and a husband who love and need you and whom you love. If the only thing that gets you through the day is them, then that's what you do. The raw pain will fade, then come back again, then fade. You will be scared of losing memories but the love never dies. Some days you will even smile and laugh and one day you will do so without feeling guilty.
Noone who hasnt survived the death of a child can come close to understanding the hell you're living in. It took months for me to be able to go out in public without support. I found I lost some friends but those who mattered were there, even if they didnt understand or know what to do. They cant fix it and most people feel helpless and frustrated about that. i figure they can deal with their own feelings, I had enough to deal with just waking up each day without my babies.
if you have any questions or need to chat, let me know.
I am so very sorry for the loss of your baby girl, such a beautiful name. Sending you a big warm embrace, I lost my Emmanuel at 24wks and the pain just seems so unbearable but day by day, one step at a time, you will get through this. I hope by sharing with us it has helped just that little bit, may you hold memories of Bella close to your heart .
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