I delivered Jayvan in a normal mat. room at our regional hospital. I left the same night with a box of "goodies" maybe two hours after his birth. I wasn't offered any other support from the hospital once I left. Infact, the "councellor" that they did send to my room whilst I was in labour thought himself to be quite the funny man and spent the entire time he was there cracking funnies. I returned to hospital a week later for a D&C as I still had plcenta left over from his birth. I wish they had scanned me before I'd left to check. I still didn't receive any support, and I think most of the staff assumed I was in for having an early m/c.
I didn't spend anytime with Jayvan, I told him I was sorry and he was wrapped and taken away. The midwife asked me if I wanted to have him back for a little while but I said no, so they said I could go. Sometimes I think if they had let me stay I would have gotten over the shock of it all and maybe had a cuddle of him in the morning, but at the time it was all too much and I didn't really know what the heck I was doing.
So in short, yeah... a dedicated room would be frikken fantastic ><;
Wagga base has a birthing room with private loo (all the others have to share a loo) that they only use for stillborns. but its doubled as a storage room so not particularly nice (none of the rooms are). they also have a postnatal room (the only single room) which has a double bed. Its on the ward but a good 20m to the nearest postnatal room. it doesnt have its own bathroom tho (even though the closest one isnt the main bathroom so only used when main one is full)
at tch (canberra) they didnt have a room but did have a special a4 picture of a flower to put on the door to make staff aware that the baby inside (with the parents) was stillborn.
I think these are needed everywhere. While I didn't have a stillbirth, when we took Sophie to the hospital they put us in a curtained area in the Emergency Department where the curtain didn't close properly. We could see all these patients and staff staring and hear them talking which made me so angry. I only stayed for 4 hours with her because I was tired of being on show. No precautions were made to protect us. I felt so let down.
My horrible experience started at the doctors, being told everything was fine, then sent to the hospital and after spending all day there and getting no answers I was finally told the horrible news at the imaging centre. The following day I went in to be induced and the only times they checked on me was to put in the gels, this was in the maternity ward (sharing a bathroom) and it couldn't have been harder hearing all the other babies, before I was moved into the birthing suite (which is also has a shared bathroom). Hubby was given no meals and was sent home over night, so at a time I desperately needed him I was simply alone.
28hrs later when Isabel was finally born they took her to be clean while I got cleaned up as well, then we were able to spend 2hrs with her in the birthing suite before being sent home. It wasn't enough time, in fact as I was leaving and still inside the hospital I fainted due to blood loss. They didn't even check to see if I was ok, hubby just had to continue helping me to the car. We left the hospital with nothing and even though they said they would call to check on us they didn't.
I've been back to that hospital with all my babies and they definitely treated me differently with Kate, and although they have all my records and should know that I might have been struggling after what I'd been through, they didn't even acknowledge my babies or even ask how I was coping (it's hard accepting/bond with a living baby when all you've experienced if loss).
Something definitely needs to be done, too many of us have received inadequate treatment at the time we need it most .
The Mercy in Heidleburg was great after we lost Poppy. It was unexpected becasue they expected her to go to NICU but she never breathed on her own or with help, so we never got that far. We were put in a high dependency unit single room on the gyno ward and then another private room on the same ward. I was terrified of going to the maternity ward. They have a bereavement room called the 'butterfly room' but it's basically just a small lounge type room. We didn't use it because I had a c-section and was stuck in bed for a while. They put a sign on the door with a butterfly on it and NOONE was allowed in without seeing the midwives first. I actually missed a few meals becasue even the catering people wouldn't come in and disturb us. I was impressed by their sensitivity and the pastoral care lady was amazing.
I think a bereavement room for meeting with family is an excellent idea and all hospitals where women birth should have them. It's an amazing idea xxx
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