She was indeed so beautiful, Z&A. Truthfully, the hardest part of SIDS is its very nature. The word SIDS seems like an answer but it is a diagnosis of exclusion. It basically means there is no answer to the question "Why?". It is not something any of us have really been able to live with comfortably. Having a baby in the after has been so hard, because you know you cannot stop it if it is going to happen. That yes, there is this beautiful child who looks and you, and loves you unconditionally, and just the thought of losing them....

I long for the days I was ignorant to it.

Thank you everyone for welcoming her here. She may not have been my baby, but she still is an important member of our family whom will never be forgotten.