What helped most?

[LionsandBears]

Here's a resource from SANDS that may help:
http://www.sands.org.au/Assets/Files...20and%20Family[1].pdf

Acknowledging their child and saying his/her name is very important. Maybe a card to say how sorry you are and that you're thinking of her and her partner. Christmas this year (and every year) will be hell, so any support will help.

Also understand that she may not be able to be around pregnant women or babies. Don't take it personally. It's just part of the grief.

[BlackCat]

I sent her and her husband some flowers (poor girl - has horrific allergies but I couldnt think of what else to send) and a handmade card that expressed how sorry I was that their journey into parenthood has begun with such sadness. I called baby by name in the card and I left my contact details with her (forgot to give them to her before she went on leave ) and have left that in her court as to if she wants to contact me or not.

I havent seen her since the funeral. Her return to work will likely be the first time. Ive marked baby's DOB on my calendar so that I can do a little something for her/them next year. Im not sure if she will want me to or not though as I dont want to upset her or make things harder for her at work. But then, she may take that time off work too.

L&B I've just read through that information sheet and its very helpful. Thank you for posting that.