13yr old sister living with me

[roz2288]

Ok so haven't been on much lately my dad won't be back till Saturday at the soonest we put rules in place and she broke the one thats important to me and thats trust and lying so now im asking myself if ive done the right thong by having her here as its pretty stressful last nights event goes as such I've trusted her to go her friends house last night I tired to call her to make sure she was where she was ment to be which is out of service but she was still in service and as soon as id ring ahe would switch her phone off then turn it back on 5-10mins later so I knew she was in town so we went to find her 30mins away we couldn't find her for an hr so I contacted our other sister who's 16 she lied to me and said she didn't know where she was so went to police as she is 13 but they couldnt help as shes over 10 then I was told by one of her friends mums she had planned to stay with the boyfriend at his house whos 17 nearly 18yrs old so I was fuming I looked in white pages for his address found it and went and knocked on his door first he tired to tell me she wasn't there but I told him if she doesn't come now the police would pick her up so he went and got her we drove home in silence when we got home I took her phone off her and told she she isn't going to stay at friends this week since she lied to me now she won't come out of her room I barely slept last night worrying and stressing if I've don't the right thing.ive told her to get up have breakfast but she said she isn't getting up my mum keeps saying to me I've got enough on my plate with my 3 kids so I'm now thinking should I tell my dad to hurry up and come home and deal with his daughter or should I keep trying last night when we couldn't find her I felt so sick and uneasy not a nice feeling any advice on what I should do with her not getting out of bed or anything would be great aghhhhh teenagers

[Novella]

sounds like you are trying to the right thingI think taking away her phone and canelling her outing are fair enough. As for getting up bar physically forcing her there isnt much you can do. I wouldnt flame the attention seeking. If she is hugry or thirsty or bored she will get up, if you have wireless internet I would consider changing the password until she comes out and has a proper discussion with you so she doesnt spend the entire day in her room on the net. Im sure she will get bored at some point and will venture out

I think you need to have a talk to your dad with your DH present and agree about what boundaries you are setting and suitable consequences, if you plan on having her stay. You all need to be on the same page to help make your lives easier and to reduce the incidence of her manipulating everyone involved. You then then need to discuss these with your sister

As for clothes I would be contacting centrelink and seeing if you would be entitled to receiving any assistance for having her in your care, if you dont due to your Dad's income then I would be discussing a child support type system with him where he pays for his daughters needs. My IL's have raised my niece and had a similar situation.

If her presence in your home is having a negative affect on your family then you need to carefully consider what impact her staying will have on your family short and long term. And I agree a reliable form of contraception would be a major concern wherever she is staying, you dont want to be raising your sister and your niece or nephew!

[Three Graces]

wow. No advice as our kids are still under 5. I had friends who took in her half sister (15 yrs old) a couple of years ago, but that was before they had their own children. They'd often find her drunk at the local skate park with her new friends. She ended up moving back interstate after 6 months, but it aged my friends with all of the stress.

Not sure why your dad isn't paying for her upkeep and clothes?
If it's not working for you and your family, I'd be telling your dad that he needs to take back responsibility for her, even if that means having to change his work situation to make it work.