14 y/o DD and anorexia again

[Indadhanu]

Kim,

I want you to know that I am sending you huge hugs. I can't reply tonight as I am about to jump off the computer but I want you to know that I will PM you ASAP tomorrow morning. I was diagnosed with anorexia at 13yo, so I know what being on the other side is like and would like to share some things with you if that is ok? I think it will help you help your daughter but let me know if that is not ok.

[Neenee Jellybeanie]

Since she was diagnosed, what sort of professionals has she seen? In my opinion, a counsellor and a dietician aren't enough, she should be seeing a psychologist and more importantly, a psychiatrist. Depression and eating disorders go hand in hand and the depression exhacerbates the eating problems. Did she begin puberty early? The reason I ask is that girls who begin puberty earlier than their peers are more likely to develop eating disorders. Also, if she did, that could indicate part of the problem is chemical. A psychologist might want to try Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.

[loulabelle]

I don't have any advice but wanted to send you and your DD some huge huge

[Faith1974]

Hi Kim,

I agree with Neenee - she needs clinical support from a psychologist who specialises in eating disorders. You can use the "Find a Psychologist" search engine at The Australian Psychological Society (Australian Psychological Society : Find a Psychologist) . A psychiatrist would also be advised, as they can assist with hospitalisation if it is required. Be prepared to try a few out, as finding a good "fit" is really important.

Having said this, your daughter may still not want to talk to these people. Some organisations run live in or day programs for teenagers with eating disorders. I don't know where you live, but in Melbourne there is The Butterfly Foundation (run by Southern Health) and a specialised unit at The Albert Road Clinic (South Melbourne - private psychiatric hospital). There is also the Bronte Centre at St Vincent's Hospital. Your daughter may feel better talking to other young people in her situation.

If your daughter is still unwilling to talk with these people, and unwilling to change her behaviour using Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, finding a therapist who uses Acceptance and Commitment Therapy may help. This therapeutic intervention emphasises focusing on what the client (ie your daughter) feels needs to change. I know a GP who worked with a young girl much like your daughter who didn't want to change her eating, but he managed to "connect" with her desire to improve her family and peer relationships (which was a 'side door entry' to the eating disorder, as opposed to the 'front door entry' most people took with her). The GP has his own website, Home | ACT Mindfully | Acceptance & Commitment Therapy Training which details the therapy and lists therapists.

This is really hard, for all of you. I would advise asking any of these people/agencies about support for you and your family, as well as your daughter. The treatment for anorexia often involves family therapy, since eating disorders affect the whole family. Good luck with this, and I hope I've been remotely helpful.
Faith

[KimB]

Thanks ladies, your opinions are welcomed. Neenee and Faith - the counsellor that I was talking about is part of the kaleidascope health system up here in Newcastle and was a psychiatrist. She was an eating disorder specialist so if we need to go back then she is the best one. Sarah was not depressed and she couldn't really find any trigger either. Sarah was normal in every other way but just didn't want to eat. If needed we will see her again and let her dig deeper (if she can and if there is anything there)

Leasha that would be good. I haven't really had that experience so some knowledge from someone who has had it would be appreciated.

I am still waiting to hear from her year advisor but I will inform him as well so the school is aware of her problem.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Kim, this may not be the option you want to hear, but it sounds to me like a cry for attention. That's why I stopped eating for four years - I just wanted my parents to notice something, anything about me. Of course they did (just not the fact that I didn't eat so that was a waste of time), I just felt they didn't, you know what teenagers are like! She's not depressed and she's normal apart from not eating... it sounds like she just wants more attention and doesn't know how to ask for it.

[Neenee Jellybeanie]

So her mood is fairly stable? That's quite strange IMO as the starvation can cause hormonal and chemical disturbance that usually affects moods.