Advice: 16yo DD Taking "Liberties".

[Bathsheba]

Appletree: sadly we have no where to send the boys. We aren't beachy types either LOL

My problem is that I've worked with kids and have had health and safety drilled into me so deep I'm paranoid especially when it comes to other people's kids. The idea of adding water into the mix worries me. The last pool party my DD attended she was pushed in while she was fully dressed.... mobile phone and all They just don't think.

The thing with teens is that you think they are just drinking a can of soft drink... but they've probably got half a bottle of Jim Beam mixed into it! I've had to call the ambo for a 14yo boy who came over here with a group of friends (they change in groups, it's an interesting phenomenon) because he climbed a bloody tree and fell out... his forearm looked like a step the way it had broken _|-

I'm leaning toward telling her that she can have a similar "do" to the Australia Day event: 20 kids. From midday to 6pm. BBQ, sausage sizzle, salad. And a strict door list.

[Visitor7]

I'm leaning toward telling her that she can have a similar "do" to the Australia Day event: 20 kids. From midday to 6pm. BBQ, sausage sizzle, salad. And a strict door list.

Now that is a very smart move I think. Sausage sizzle for them is a great, and 6 hours is plenty of time.
Back when I was 16, a friend had a party for her 16th and invited 20 friends. In excess of 300 kids turned up and totally trashed the place. Furniture was stolen, cars and a motorbike were stolen (one was found down the road burnt out). And this was way before the days of Facebook to invite people. The kids just heard it from word of mouth. So I think you have to be really careful when inviting kids to a party.

[Pretty Butterfly]

Great idea about limiting numbers, and a sausage sizzle is the easiest and cheapest!!!

If you can, arrange it all outside, even move the dining chairs outside, so except for toilet, no one needs to come in... i HATE poeple going in and out constantly...you will also have a place to take the boys for some quite time if need be!!

If you grab a big bucket thing of ice, fill it with soft drink cans etc, and arrange all the chairs around it and the food, they really shouldnt wander around too much either... even some old rugs and blankets in picnic fashion will encourage them to "congregate" in an area, rather than just random wandering.. if it can be made fun and casual, but easier for you, all the better my dear!!!

[danita]

my brother had his 18th recently and we registered the party with the police, we handed arm bands to those who were invited so anyone without an arm band was asked to leave was also easy for family members who didnt know his friends to spot the ones not invited, the ones that were over 18 and invited had a different colour band again so we k=knew who was legally able to drink etc,
the party went off really well and there was no need to call the cops as it was known that only invited people could come and they had to hand ob=ver their invite to get their band....if you lost your band and asked to leave then that was their tuff luck


GL with it all

[Lulu]

sounds fair Bath. After all it's only a 16th, she can keep the big plans for her 18th/21st.

[Bathsheba]

PB: yep, that's what we did last time: took all of our chairs outside... arranged in a loose circle... we have a moveable marquee and set that up for them... with drinks in an ice filled shell wading pool nearby, near the BBQ which they actually cooked on quite responsibly (we found it naturally divided into the boys talking around the BBQ watching the snags and the girls seated around on the chairs... fascinating... just like adults LOL). We have a pool table just inside in the back living area and they came in and played that reasonably well... but we had balloons inside that caused a bit of trouble (as described earlier). On the whole it was better having them outside. But some still chose to roam. Only 1 parent actually bothered to come to the door to meet us BTW all the others just dropped their child out the front or the child arrived via public transport with friends. That one parent apologised for seeming to be too protective of her son... she explained to him that she just wanted to make sure that the party was being well supervised and that could we please make sure her boy (he was 14) didn't just wander off. This boy was actually very well behaved... obviously a product of good parenting. It's a shame the mum felt that she was being over protective though! That's what we do when we take our DD to a party!

[~Lashes~]

i like the idea of the outside sausage sizzle one, id be telling her if she didnt like it then too bad, take it or leave it! (i think im going to be mean when my lot get to that age!)
if there is eventhe slight chance she may resort back to her plans, or tell her friends to just come along, local police stations have a form you can fill out to "register" your party, i think its just so they know what your plans are, and if things get out of hand, they will respond to your call for help alot quicker. even if you dont need it, it would be peace of mind for you to know that the help is there?
good luck and i hope it all goes well.

[~*familyof3*~]

I love the bbq idea. This may seem odd but i remember being a teen so could i suggest to that you dont allow the kids to bring back packs ect as we used to stash booze in there lol or dedicate one room with a lock all bags go in there at the start(clearly they can keep their phones ect on them) and you lock the room and they can get them back at the end.

She may have done well but she still has to listen to your rules reguardless and heck i would have been happy with that when i was that age but then again my mum never let us have any friends over at all.

[Fleur]

I'm leaning toward telling her that she can have a similar "do" to the Australia Day event: 20 kids. From midday to 6pm. BBQ, sausage sizzle, salad. And a strict door list.

Sounds like a plan. I think you just need to set really clear boundaries (like that ^ ). I know my 15yo will wriggle as much as she can.. we have learned to be really clear from the start to try & minmise her wriggle room... what's left over, she can have

Good luck

[Bathsheba]

Yep, I think having it as a day function is the key... they seem to get more reckless at night. Last time they all had plans to go to the MCG for a night cricket game so they all choofed off at a set time... it was great. This time I might suggest they go and see the locally famous Christmas lights display... just so we don't have loiterers after dark. Also means i MIGHT get a chance to go to the BB Chrissy Dinner afterall!

[PumpkinZulu]

sounds fair Bath. After all it's only a 16th, she can keep the big plans for her 18th/21st.

Yeah totally...afterall, what's so spesh about turning 16? I think a daytime BBQ sounds awesome (and yummy!), people can just chill outside, eat, drink (soft drinks lol) and have a good chat Your DD's bestie sounds like an awesome influence too!