Quote: does anyone actually have their kids doing their chores without the expectation of a 'reward'??

Yes! Infact if my DD refuses to do her share she loses 'priviledges' such as screen time and socialising. She is nearly 12yo. We also don't give her pocket money. Her chores include: keeping her room tidy, making her bed, emptying the bins, bringing in washing, tidying her bathroom (not scrubbing it yet). She also is 100% responsible for being ready for school eg making her own lunches, laying out her uniform, polishing her shoes, and even walks to school.

She will occassionally ask to do extra things such as wash the car, go to the shops (around the corner) change a nappy etc. She can be very mature and usually does all her jobs well unless she's tired or has been sitting infront of a screen (mainly the 'pute) for too long which i find makes her act irritable afterwards.

If she contributes well she knows that I'll meet all her reasonable demands of clothing, socialising and extra treats such as spending any change left over from buying the bread etc.

My 3yo has jobs too: he wipes up (as best he can) spilt accidents, brings in the little wheelie bin (I bring in the big one) every Monday morning, and always helps to tidy up one toy before he plays with another.... unless I'm glued to BB in which he does tend to drag everything out... but that's the price I pay

I think that it's a great opportunity to involve children as much as they are capable of. I know it takes patience but I think it's our job as parents to teach our children to be as independant as possible. We're not doing any favours by doing it all for them. The trick is to praise the good efforts and ignore the bad as much as possible.

Unfortuantly I see a lot of other parents who (because they are both work fulltime) feel guilty asking their children to do work during the precious little time each day that they see them. I bite my tongue but this is a recipe for disaster.