Alcohol

[Bathsheba]

Don't apologise Leigh.... that was very well said especially "I believe that this will help to teach that you do not have to drink to get drunk, but rather that you can drink and enjoy it as a social custom."

[Lulu]

[QUOTE=Tanya;740074]Whould you let your teenager drink?

Alecia's friend's 15th bday party was last night and she was going to stay the night (It wasn't a sleep over, but Alecia was aked if she would like to stay the night).
The friend's mother came to get them (the friend was here borrowing some clothes) and asked tells me she was planning on getting the friend some cans of drink for after the party and asked if Alecia was allowed. I flat out said 'no, Alecia is not allowed to drink'.

I just thought I'd bring it back to the original post. I think we all seem to agree(ish) that a sip here and there as well as being a responsible drinker as a parent is the way to go.

However - my feelings refer to Tanya's post about allowing a teen to drink.
Again - it will not be acceptable for my daughter (15) or her friends to come here and drink, or go anywhere and drink. I will not buy it for her until she can do it for herself.
I totally object to the theory that letting them drink at home is OK, just because it's at home. I also find it ridiculous to buy your child alcohol, drink it at home and THEN let them go out.

As I said before I come from a line of well respected publicans, have worked in the industry (of course!), was brought up with 5 o'clock drinks at home and my own first birthday went for three days. I'm far from a teetotaller....

I will also never permit those stupid colourful lolly drinks or cheap spirits in my house. If they do drink, it will be 'properly', and they will learn their limits by the good example of my family. We have huge celebrations and in all my years I have never (and will never) see an underage family member drunk.
When you are old enough to drink you can join the adults in dancing on the tables and karaoke when the little ones have gone to bed.....lol!

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

When you are old enough to drink you can join the adults in dancing on the tables and karaoke when the little ones have gone to bed.....lol!

Hey! I don't need to be drunk to dance on tables or sing bad kareoke! Nor does DS need to be abed, he loves dancing on tables/worktops and my kareoke LOL. I also would not provide alcohol for a teen party, but then I wouldn't for any party I was giving (except a dinner party).

BTW, your child turns 15 on Monday. For his/her birthday, s/he wants to see a 15-rated film on the Saturday night at the cinema - 2 days before s/he turns 15. Do you allow this? By arguing "it is the law" (as I will), that's the same as with alcohol. But if you allow this, how can you disallow alcohol 2 days before the 18th birthday? What magically changes overnight aside from a number?

BTW, I found this on aussie drinking laws:

It is illegal to buy, drink or possess alcohol if under 18 but states allow drinking or possessing alcohol on private premises for people under the age of 18 (under the supervision of an adult[s]). Minors may be on licensed premises accompanied by a parent or guardian (but not purchase alcohol) and parents can provide alcohol with a meal on licensed premises.

So giving an under-18 a bit of alcohol may not be illegal, as previously stated.

[Lulu]

True about those laws Ryn. I can't believe it's ok for someone else to give my underage child alcohol. That's why I feel the need to make it quite clear to other parents.

And ha ha - my daughter DID want to go see an 15+ movie a day or two before and I made her wait . .

[paradise lost]

I was taken by my older sister to see 18rated films when i was 13!

I guess i was treated like an adult but i damned well had to behave like one in return. My mum used to give me the "with rights come responsibilities" chat regularly.

Bec

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I was just reviewing our film collection recently, hence that example! I guess we'll just cross the bridge when we come to it. I'd like to just say "you're underage, no" but DH probably won't. My mum was slack on film ratings and it didn't affect me too much, but 18 films now are far worse than when we were kids!

I agree, Lulu, how can it be OK for someone else to give DS alcohol?

[paradise lost]

Ryn the 18 i saw first, age 13 was Natural Born Killers! Not much is worse than that! Maybe 8mm but even that is old nowadays...

Bx

[vitaran]

i think drinking alcohol at first under supervision is okay. since they are going to exposed to it anyway and you can't change that. just make sure she's cautious at parties and what not.

[DoubleK]

i think i had my first drink at 15.. my first few drink were actually with my parents around (to make a long story short, my dad was a manager in a fast food restaurant, i worked there as well, and the ages ranged from 15 to my dad @ 50! we all socilised heaps out of work, which i really enjoyed!) i remember going to parties @ 15-16 and drinking etc, but now that my brother has just turned 15 (he tells us he hasnt tried alcohol yet), i'm scared of him going out drinking, its like i still see him as a little kid! i guess its just the protective big sister in me!!!

[Antheia]

I had my first drink(and it was only a sip) when i was 16 i think. I hated it. So I didn't touch another one until i was over 18. My mum hated alcohol. Reason being due to her mother being an alcoholic and never being there to care for her, always dumped her off with her brother. Her brother is also an alcoholic. No idea where he is these days, no idea if he is even still alive... She didn't want me turning into them(and for good reason) so she did not allow alcohol in our home. i think the only reason she did allow me to have a sip of alcohol when i was 16 because her friend offered it to me and kept saying, oh come on, its only a sip, blah blah blah. Being a 16yo, if you've given permission, are you going to say no? After that i did not have another drink until about 2 months after i turned 18, because i was pregnant with DD on my 18th. I was still pregnant when i had the drink(a ****tail) but only had a sip as it made me really sick after that. So my next drink wasn't until i was nearly 19 i think. Anyway, my point is, if you don't allow your teenager to drink, that does not mean they will try and go behind your back or will go wild when they can get their hands on it. Yes, some teens do do this. But i don't think they have been taught about the responsibilities of drinking. Giving them sips here and there at home, to me, is not teaching them responsible drinking. It's basically letting them brag to their friends, oh my parents let me drink all the time, yadda yadda! At that age they're not going to care about responsibility at all. It just seems so wrong. Therefore, i will not be letting any of our children a drop of alcohol until they are 18.

[eliycsha]

when i was 14 i was allowed 1 drink while i was at home with my parents ( it was a family bbq) my parents said to me until i am 18 the only time i am allowed to drink is at home. but there was family issues and my parents seperation and i went againt those rules against me and instead of going to the 'movie nights' at my friends house i would be going to parties. i wish i hadnt done it as it sorta made my 18th something not to exciting as i looked older than i am so i never got asked for id at the pub wheni was underage.

im not saying your daughter is going to do this. i think the only reason i did it was because of me not having a close relationship with my parents and i think it was a rebellious thing against them for the seperation.

if you trust her then i wouldnt worry, she will listen to you