Deffinately if you havent already try talking to her father in a calm relaxed environment if thats not possible ask for a family councelling session somewhere where your daughter is not going to feel threatened,

I dont quite know how to say this with out causing offence but I have seen the damage this can do on the other side ie the dad, obviously different circumstances and I am absolutely in no way assuming you have not tried other options, and I can imagine as a mum my self how heartbreaking it must be for you to send her there, if her dad is not willing to be reasonalble then he does not deserve the right to have her come and stay, however if he is willing to try and make her comfortable and put her needs first then trying to work it out is by far the best option especially if its not directly her dad at fault here.
Good luck I hope it gets sorted quickly and nicely for you I know this sort of thing can be really messy and I feel for your little girl she must be feeling so much stress to be crying so much before a visit and thats just not fair on her at all.