Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Confused is sister lying??

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Hallett Cove- S.A
    Posts
    762

    Default Confused is sister lying??

    Ok most of you know i have a 14yr old sister with Down Syndrome,
    she is now in high school (and im coping. YEAH). She goes to an all girls high school and shares a taxi with only girls.

    I had the kids over for a few days in the holidays, took them to see Ice Age 2, on the way back they were talking in the back seat and my other sister goes "yeah, Gemma's got a bf" i turned around and was like really who, she said Ben, and i was like oh yeah who is Ben, she ended up saying from school (then from taxi) and that they've kissed and i said he kissed you and she said yeah and pointed to her private part!!!



    I was like excuse me, are you lying? she said no but had a cheeky grin on her face, she then laughed and i asked her again about it and she kept telling me the same thing and that she wasnt lying.

    I know she had a crush on a boy at her old school, and he was the sweetest ("normal"), he would stop hanging out with his mates to be with her, he would do anything for her and she knew it!!

    So i dont know if this is true or its because she is missing this boy from her old school, when she started high school, she shared a taxi with a couple of boys, and mum changed taxis because she kept sitting next to this boy and coming out with stories about this boy as well as the taxi driver himself (uncertain if true or not), so now she has a new taxi driver and an all female taxi ride to and from school.

    Is it possible that she is only missing the boy from her old school and wanting that feeling back again, or do you think there is more into it.

    I did go on to tell my mum about it, who was in shock and kept asking me was she telling the truth, and i didnt know. So im sure mum questioned her more about it later.

    Im concerend, for different reasons, the main one is, if she is surrounded by only females, so where did this Ben come form?? We dont mind that she has crushes etc and that she may (im quite not ready for that though) have a bf, as long as know more about him. But where did Ben come from??

    I have gotton mum to ring up the school and question them about it when she gets the chance, but if they dont know, where to then???

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    sunshine coast
    Posts
    524

    Default

    not sure if im going to be much help but my friend has a daughter with ds & i remember what she was like going through school (she is now 27) anyway she went to a special school & used to come home with ripped undies & bras etc & it was from the boys at school - she thought it was funny even though it was explained that it wasn't but she then started to flirt with other guys - this happened from around 14 on - she was always talking about boyfriends (still does) but never had any - i think she got it from watching tv & saw others with boyfriends & kissing etc & would elaborate on that & act the way they did (like the kids on H&A) the school said it was part of her exploring her sexuality but it was something my friend didnt want her daughter to be doing & talking about at that age - she did calm down but half the time i could never tell if she telling the truth or making it up
    hope it helps somewhat to know you arent alone!

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Hallett Cove- S.A
    Posts
    762

    Default

    thank you melbee, you have helped, i was thinking along the lines you described, but was unsure.

    I think the best thing to do would be to ask her school about "Ben" and then make decisions after that, so if there is no "Ben" at school, and isnt her Taxi driver, then we will know that she's exploring. But if it does happen to be a teacher or the taxi driver, we will have to hit the issue head on, If she is telling her friends about "Ben", then this can cause some serious issues for "Ben" iykwim and we will have to adress them as soon as possible.

    Im hoping she is just exploring and watching too much tv. And yes she does watch H&A. As i dont want her jepordising someones career/life with talk like this.

    Im praying its not real!

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    sunshine coast
    Posts
    524

    Default

    hopefully everything will be alright & she is just testing the boundaries!!

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    whoop whoop or not, not sure yet!!!
    Posts
    1,347

    Default

    Naomi - your idea to approach the school and find out if they know of a Ben is the best way to go IMO - not to take away from the seriousness of the issue but I wouldn't be surprised if she was lying (wittingly or unwittingly) especially if it will get her a bit of extra attention and have her fitting in with the crowd (say what they are saying or whats been on TV) but unfortunately you can't just assume it to be so. Also by approaching the school they can be aware to keep an eye on anything that might need attention or resolution and address it immediately. I have seen it before and on the occassions where the girl was open and happy and twinkle in the eye it was untrue - the truthful occasions usually produced a very subdued and large adverse change in personality (especially where the "friend" was "normal" - different case often if the BF also has DS). My experiences are 2nd and third hand though - I'm no professional - just been involved in a lot of special ed since I was a child myself due to hands on parents - and thought I'd let you know what I've seen and experienced.

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Hallett Cove- S.A
    Posts
    762

    Default

    Thankyou Jaspen, i know what you mean.
    I spoke to mum about it again the other day, and she said she is still worried as Gemma rarely lies and keeps secrets, although she does lie shes just not good at keeping it up! I tried to tell her she does lie and does it well but she wouldnt listen to me, she has also not rang the school - dont ask me why, even after me begging her to do it!
    I dont have any Athourity to ring the school, as they have no idea who i am - after mum and i had a falling out a while back, i decided to let her be the "parent" and not me, so i have been tellling her what to do iykwim her old school knew me and respected my concerns etc with Gemma.

    I dont know what to do mum clearly sees a problem but doesnt want to seem to address it. I have offered to ring the school and enquire about it but she says that she has and the the next time i speak to her she says she hasnt.
    Gemma has stopped saying it though and tells me im being silly when i ask her does she have a BF etc so im lost atm

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •