I'm guessing your DS is only 13 ... to be honest i would want to be there at least sitting/standing way in the background so therefore if he chose to come to you after the ceremony if it truely is too emotional for him at least he would have you there as a 'choice' of comfort to go to then to not have it all.

I'm just picturing my nephew as he just turned 14 & i know my sister would do just what i mentioned. Just my suggestion but you know your son well enough, maybe not in this heartbreaking situation but i would understand you would be mindful to not want him too maybe feel embarassed with his Mum there.

My best friends partner suicided early in the year ... it is a very gut wrenching emotion to deal with & especially as a teen. I so feel for you as a Mum knowing it's such a heartbreaking time in your son's life & also very confusing i would imagine.

Just another thought, would it be possible to ask your son if you could do just what i suggested ... and if it's a firm NO from him then best to not go ??

Hugs to you too