hair removal

[Tanya]

Hi everyone,
Well Alecia has been asking me 'mum.... when can I start shaving my legs?' (which is great because I Never asked my mum). She has been asking this for the passed 6months. Anyway the last time she asked me I replyed, "why do you want to start shaving your legs?'. To which she said "I'll get teased at school about it". That's fair enough, if you remeber what girls are like at high school... very cruel to anyone different. Alecia is an early bloomer, being only 12 and already wearing a size 10d bra and having her period for at least two years, so you can imagine her legs were getting a little on the hairy side.

So anyway, we were in town on tuesday and I decided to take her to the beauticion to get her legs waxed. She go her lower leg done and her underarms.

My question is, did I do the right thing? I don't think my parner thinks I did. When is the best age for hair removal and why?

Tanya

[Ambah]

There are five girls in our family. The first one wasnt allowed to shave until grade 10, the second one grade 9, etc, etc. I was allowed to shave at the end of grade 7 (for my graduation LOL) (I am the 2nd youngest)

I think perhaps you being a woman yourself undserstands why it is so important to girls, whereas your DP probably doesnt have a clue. Does he have any idea how much girls can get picked on at school for these things?
Even though I started shaving at the end of grade 7 I was still picked on for not shaving earlier... girls can be just horrible to each other!

I think its a great idea you took her to be waxed too, cause now she wont be getting the horrible thick regrowth back, that years of shaving does to a woman, LOL

[christy]

I started shaving at the young age of 11... I had broken my leg & when it came out of the cast there was awful black hair there & my mum couldn't stand it and thats how it all started for me...so I don't think you did the wrong thing, because hair removal is important in school!

[min]

i think you did a great thing taking her to get it waxed. she wouldve felt pretty special! she is obviously self conscious of the hair, and being teased can do a lot of damage, i dont think there is any harm in it whatsoever, is teaching her to talke pride in her appearance in a sensible way which is a good thing, and great that she asked you before she did it.

I dont think hair removal will make her grow up any faster than having her period and large breasts at her age would if that is what you DP is worried about.

[Karen75]

I think you did the right thing. Hair removal is such an easy thing to take care of if that's the only teasing she has to worry about!!

Starting her at such an early age will also make the hair grow back so much thinner and finer that by the time she's 18 she'll hardly have any!! Wish I had've done that at her age, I'm a shaver.... getting harder each week though - belly in the way!

[Rouge]

I think you did a great thing Not only was it something she could do with mum, but we all know that shaving isn't as good for us all as waxing, and I hate to say it but if she REALLY wants to shave she will. I did and my parents got annoyed but there wasn't anything they could do.

I will be doing the EXACT same with my daughter when the time comes around

*hugs*
Cailin

[dinky]

Tanya

You definitely did the right thing.

My DD is 11, and she has already asked about having her legs waxed, we have decided that we will start mid year. My GF is a qualified beautician and she does mine at my house, so DD is used to it.

I totally understand about DP not understanding, my DH is dead against it, doesnt understand at all about why we should start early. He thinks its ridiculous. But he cant really complain since we get it done for nothing, I just have to supply the wax.

I guess I am lucky that my DD seems to be a late bloomer, no sign of AF yet for her, she thinks that if she refuses to get it then it wont happen. LOL, if only.

[Lulu]

Glad I stumbled across this, all the stuff I don't want to think about for my 12 y.o DD!!

I think if you show your DD the proper way to do things, wax, makeup, skin care etc you can't really go wrong.

My poor step daughter came to us at 14 without being told the very basics of hygiene, taking care of skin, shaving etc. The only thing her mother seemed to do was buy her the most inappropriate underwear you can imagine.
It was really hard to approach the subject with her without saying the wrong thing. Thank god for granmothers!!!

[Jackie]

My daughter has been into hair removal since she was about 12. If you tell them they can't do it, they'll just do it behind your back, so you're much better off to show them the correct way of doing things, at least they wont get into bad habits. I still don't know how she can wax her legs, I have tried, but am way to chicken to pull the strip off OUCH !!! :shock:

[Katey84]

Hey Tanya,
I think just before the start of highschool is perfect. Taunts at primary school would be minimal but once you hit highschool, it gets pretty heavy.
I remember my neighbour and her friend (both a year ahead of me at school) telling me I couldn't POSSIBLY go to highschool with hairy legs, and blablabla... I got hassled heaps.
I cried and cried and complained, and it still took me til the last half of the year to con my mum into letting me do it, and even then she wouldn't let me use razors... She had this awful painful thing called an "emjoi" (was heavily marketed on tv at the time) which looks like an electric razor but instead of the blade it has loads of mini tweezers... it was AWFUL! It was supposed to have a similar effect to waxing in the way of regrowth, so I was hardly ever allowed to actually use it, because mum only had to use it every 2-3 months, and she assumed I should be the same - she is BLONDE and I am dark - I had to use it pretty much once a week and do it in secret, I hated it.
So anyway I ended up just buying regular razors out of my pocket money the year after because it was so painful and frustrating, and keeping them in my drawer so she wouldn't know, and I guess she just thought I had 'magically' turned blonde and didn't need to use her crappy pain machine. I also had to buy brand name pads/tampons out of my pocket money because she would only buy me those massive home brand nanna pads...!
OH GOSH sorry for the ramble - just giving you ultimate confidence in your decision! LOL.

[Antheia]

Tanya,

I think you did the right thing. It is true, girls can be so horrible when it comes to things like this. I started shaving when i was 12 too because i had just started high school and all the other girls shaved theirs and it was like they didn't accept anyone who didn't, iykwim? And with DP, i think that because he isn't female and didn't have to worry about this sort of thing at that age then he doesn't really understand the need of it. Waxing is a much better way of doing it too. It's showing her how to look after herself hygenically at an early age and it also doesn't look at messy, takes longer to grow back, no shaving rashes etc.

[Lulu]

Is anyone going to encourage their DD not to be sheep???

We become slaves to the beauty industry, to conform to someone else's ideas of acceptable, to accept lower rates of pay purely based on gender. Don't we want more for them?

Isn't there more important things to be teaching our girls? Why does hair removal become important at the age of 12?. Shouldn't they have other things to do???

Give your daughter a social conscience, not a bloody razor. Give her the courage to do what right for her, give her the power to change things for others less fortunate. Why groom our girls for a lifetime of comformity to the ideals of a less than perfect society?

Yes, I know girls can be horrible to each other, can't we at least try and stop this? Our mothers and grandmothers didn't burn their bras for nothing, or did they???????

[Jackie]

Hi Lulu

Eveyone is entitled to their opinion, don't see how letting your DD shave or wear make up etc has anything to do with changing the world ...

The fact that we are going to teach them right from wrong, NOT to be the ones teasing and accept people for who they are might make a difference.

By not allowing our kids to do certain things at certain ages will only turn them into rebellious monsters as they get older, so i say instill the right ideas in their heads, encourage them to be individuals, but by doing this you don't have to make them the odd ones out at school, they will just end up hating you for it.

[Rouge]

I have to agree with Jackie Lulu!

I don't consider letting my daughter shave/wax when she asks as turning her into a sheep. I will be sure to teach Paris that brains are more important than beauty. And I will be teaching Paris not to tease others for their differences but that doesn't mean that I am going to send her out to be slaughtered. If she doesn't want to wax/shave ever I am not going to force her. But if she does decide thats what she wants to do I would rather support her and offer her a good choice rather than have her doing it behind my back, and that is my policy on ALL things.

And better yet I don't consider myself a slave to society LOL! I love the feeling of smooth skin, and so does DH I couldn't really give a rats what other people do LOL!

And please guys lets not turn this friendly discussion into a debate about feminism.

*hugs*
Cailin

[Jackie]

And please guys lets not turn this friendly discussion into a debate about feminism.

Good point Cailin, afterall we are here to have a friendly chat and support each other

[Astrolady]

Not that this is ever going to be an option with 2 boys lol, but if I had a daughter I would support her with her decision. Maybe even make a fuss of it and buy her a nice razor etc for b/day xmas if that time was close.

I know my mum hit the roof when she caught me shaving my legs. But hey i was already half done so there was no point stopping and she shouldn't have barged into the bathroom to wash her hands LOL.

Love

[Lulu]

Whoa there!,

I see how strong I came across, let me point out that if you can see my earlier post i agree about the waxing issue. I think that teaching our girls to take care of their bodies is terribly important. I teach girls to care for and respect their bodies in my job and I really enjoy what I do.

I was just sitting here pondering the subject and I got all annoyed and anxious as I'm just beggining to tackle these issues with my own daughter. I'm worried of course about being her teased at school for whatever reason, girls can really act like a pack of wolves. (seen Mean Girls?!!!). The fact that we have to worry about wether we are sending our daughters to be slaughtered ****es me off!! I know thats probably never going to change though dammit!!

Teaching our girls respect for themselves and their bodies is our greatest weapon in the battle against teen depression and low-self esteem, and hopefully they won't ever feel they have to go behind our backs.

Boys also go through the same crap too, of course just in a different way, this is really not a feminist issue.

In the end though, as long is we remind them every now and again, a zit on you chin on school photo day really sucks, in the grand scheme of things, it aint so bad!!!

I don't disagree with the forum at all, just feeling a bit powerless when I know all the testing times and challenges ahead for my girl.

Cheers, Lulu

[Lulu]

P.S I am NEVER going to make Isabelle use an Emjoi!!!!!!! (LOL)