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Thread: How do you answer this?

  1. #1

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    Default How do you answer this?

    Can anyone help me with a question my 5 yo came up with on Wednesday? The question is: HOW DID THE DOCTORS GET PATRICK OUT OF MUMMIES TUMMY? I know the answer and I know all of you know the answer but what do you tell a 5 yo!


  2. #2

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    This is THE million dollar question isn't it LOL.

    Both my older kids have a pretty good understanding of the situation cause a lot of questions where asked when their Aunt had her baby in March, plus I didn't want them to hear school yard tales of events.

    I have told them that when the baby decides to arrive, the mummy's tummy starts to squeeze the baby out, so Mummy has to go to hospital. Then, when the baby is ready, it will come out of the Mummy's mare-mare (our name for vagina). But, (as was the case with my SIL) some babies can't come out that way and so the doctor has to do an operation to get the baby to come out of the Mummy's tummy.

    Now, I know this answer will not be to everyone's liking, but I felt it was the right thing to tell my children. I feel that if the question is glossed over with cabbage patch stories then that will leave them unsatisfied and they will ask more questions about it. I think that we undermine our children's abilities to understand such a complex thing, but I have had no problem with it and they haven't asked anymore questions about it.

  3. #3

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    we just go with "the doctor gets it out sweetheart"

  4. #4

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    Yep - gotta love the 5yo questions!! My nephew asked the hard questions when Caitlyn was born like "Aunty Shelley - Did your baby die in your tummy" "Is your baby a star yet" and even now "Aunty Shelly - are you having a baby" "No sweety" "Is that because Caitlyn died". The direct and honest answer was the best for him. Not sure how playgroup / preschool coped with this when he relayed the info to them

    He had his tonsils out last week and needed to call Aunty Shelley to see what happened. We told him he had to have special medicine to make him sleep (he asked what it was called so I told him anaesthetic) and then the doctor took out the tonsils with "special tweezers". It is true - we just omitted the bit about the sharp things and the diathermy :eek:

  5. #5

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    Maddison knows & actually I heard her explaining how it got in & how it was gonna get out... To one of her school mates once! Then also told the teacher all about it. When I was first preg I bought maddison the where did I come from book... She was 6 & is extremely mature for her age... She read the book with me, then read it by herself & told me.. "I know babies get there by Daddies wriggiling ther penis, until it feels nice for both of them.. inside Mummies vagina"... That was it...
    She saw me when I was in labour at the beginning of the day & later that afternoon, before doing off to hospital, she knew it had to come out of my vagina & she always winced when she'd think about it!!!

    My nephew on the other hand was 7-8 yrs old & truly disgusted when he saw the Where Did I come from book & burst into tears telling his Mum (who had borrowed it to read to him) that it was sick!!!

    I dont know if that will help or not, but I found it to be really easy...

  6. #6

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    Ummmm Noah has just turned 4 and he knows how babies come out. LOL. He is always wanting to watch the "Tehya movie" no need to explain too much after he's seen that.

    Seriously though it really depends on how much info you want to share with him. Usually just enough to satisfy their curiousity is best rather than bombarding them. If they want to know more, they will ask.

  7. #7

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    It's hard isn't it.

    We were just as honest and careful at explaining it as we could. She knows that William came out of my GINA as she calls it, andntha's ok for now, I guess, she also haas asked how did we "get" her and Will, so we explained tha too, I recon it's fine to explain it to them if they ask and to try to do it as honestly as you can and as easily as you can.

    Nyah was playing with her barbie the other day and I asked what she was doing and she told me straight out, Mummy Barbie and David (man barbie) are making babies, and she put them together kissing and her on top of him, so I think so gets the meaning IYKWIM.

    God imagine when there getting into the early teens :eek: :eek:

  8. #8

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    I can remember my parents borrowing a video version of "where do I come from" and showing it to my brother and myself. He was about 7 and I was about 4. I remember getting bored and walking off.
    I think it depends on where your child is at and how they best learn. Also how much they want to know. But the truth is often best, I remember a kid at school whose parents told her a story that suited them, of course she went to school and told the other kids who knew the truth and made fun of him. Poor thing.
    Good luck with whatever you decide.

    MG

  9. #9

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    I teach sex ed and the best response is an honest one. Use correct terms (or terms you use as a family), keep it simple, uncomplicated and factual. It of course depends on the age and maturity of the child asking, keep it at their level. If you make things up or brush it off, it only adds to their confusion and/or curiousity - who knows where they go to find out then!
    We actually use the Where Did I Come From video for our year 7 students. It is simple to understand and because it is like a cartoon, kids like it. The 11 and 12 year olds at first think it's a bit babyish, but then they start learning things and are the quietest they will be all year. It would be ok for a 5 yo, but probably a quick factual answer will be enough - for now. Too much info might just get confusing. Good luck.

    Just remember - show no fear or embarassment. Kids (as you would know) sense it and will either ask more to find out why your'e like it or back off because they think they have done something wrong.

  10. #10

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    When I was in year 7 at school I had an argument with another girl because she said babies come out your vagina - but I knew they came out your bottom. I knew because my Mum told me that. I am sitting here blushing now at the embarassment still! I love my Mum to bits, but I really really wish she had been more honest & open with me about things like that. Oh - & my friend went to the teacher & told her of our discussion, & the teacher said "well Linda has a lot to learn doesn't she?"

    I will never let that happen to Emma!

  11. #11

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    what a classic Jillian!

  12. #12

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    Ooh ah!! Only a child could get away with that one!!

  13. #13

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    DH had all the kids calling me Big Mama when I was pregnant, he also taught them to say wobble wobble if I walked anywhere!

  14. #14

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    I'd just tell them the truth. Thats what I did with Paris, she's watched birthing shows on foxtel and she understands that theres a special "door" ie the cervix which opens up when in labour and the baby has to squeeze through and comes out the mothers vagina. And we went through it all, she also understands what it means to have a c/s and that her birth was via c/s because the door didn't "open" enough for her to come out so the Dr made a little door specially for her then sewed it up again!

    The thing about children is that they can understand alot more than most people give them credit for. Paris was able to understand the concept of amniotic fluid and what its purpose was, same for the umbilical cord, why I bled after Seth's birth, what the contractions were doing and she even tells me "Mummy you can't feed seth your milk because you have had wine so you better get daddy to give him a bottle." I explain EVERYTHING to Paris we have a great understanding, "Why?" is a great question it allows us the chance to bond with our kids, if they keep asking "Why?" generally its because the answer we gave hasn't satisfied their thirst for knowledge or curiosity... except for that 5% of the time when its to see how much they can get under our skin Its not really about what you tell them as it is how, and they only fear what they don't understand. You would think post birth bleeding would be scary to a 4 y.o. but Paris understood that it was my's body's way of cleaning out my tummy of seth's house. Because Seth wasn't in my tummy any more as I didn't need the house in my tummy so it all had to come out. And it didn't hurt.

    *hugs*
    Cailin

  15. #15

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    The hard questions just keep coming don't they. I am so proud of the attitude my kids have, especially the 5 yr old, and I think it comes from always speaking to them as if they are little adults. We always answer questions properly and tell them we will find out if we don't know (more often now we don't!). Obvoiusly we are slightly more detailed with one than the other and we keep our answers age appropriate but I think generaly if you stick to the simple truth then you can't go wrong.
    My son (aged 5) asked me the other day "If cave men were the first people on Earth then who were their parents?" Erm...erm...

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