Oh I hear you on this one!!!
DD has just turned 17 and IMO has got more sensible thank goodness but this is what she is allowed.
Hanging out at the shops- yes but not at night except on late night shopping night.
Out with older people in cars a tricky one, yes if I know them and they have a decent car (i need to know who they are and what car they drive LOL) I have found that teenagers are much more responsible about drink driving than we were! Also on red Ps they can only have one passenger after 11pm which means they often come home earlier.
Away for weekend with friends Only if there were adults/parents there and I had spoken to them first, otherwise a mob of kids- NO WAY.
Drinking ah the big question! We have just started to let DD drink if she is at home, not out. She had a NYE party here and we let her drink cause we were home and it was a safe environment. She has accepted this and agrees its fair. last night she went to a party- didn't drink, then came home with 2 of her grilfriends and had a UDL.
We have decided that giving some freedoms means she accepts the restrictions better, also if we give reasons for saying no rather than just saying no cause we can.
DD lived with my dad for 7 months last year, he didn't seem to notice or care what she did and she actually got sick of there being no rules/boundaries. Since she has come home she is much happier cause she knows we make these rules to protect her ot ruin her lfe LOL