DD1 isn't a teen yet, but is 11 next year. She doesn't have facebook, email, a phone, computer etc etc. The phone was possibly going to be a high school thing.
A 10/11 year old does not NEED a phone. I've been very clear with my oppinions on this for years. Forever!

Ex doesn't agree. He did, but since I left he's said he was going to get her a phone. 12 months later it hadn't happened, but I've come over from WA for christmas & the kids spent last night at ex's.

He handed her $50 to buy her own phone.

I'm ****ed. And I have a dilemma. Do I buy her the phone or not? I'd say no, but what do I tell her? And I know if I don't I'll get abuse from him & accused of taking the money for myself

Or do I let go of everything I believe about the whole situation & buy the damn phone? To me its the start of a childs innocence being lost. I don't know if anyone else understands what I mean by that, but, for us, in our situation, unless she NEEDS a phone, why have one? She'll never be able to have credit, I can barely afford my own. Do I say fine, but dad has to pay for credit?

His excuse is that I don't let them ring him. I stopped paying for phone calls when he refused to pay child support (still not happening), & when he started telling my kids things they didn't need to know (my brother was assaulted, we told them he hit his head. They're kids. Ex told her what really happened...)

So this is all about being the awesome parent who does NOTHING behind the scenes. I don't want to break her heart over this. She has wanted one for years...

Help??