Mobile phone and internet rules

[toomanyshoes]

No phones here yet but that's only a couple of years away. Our rules will be pretty much the same.

But as for internet (computers, laptops, ipods and ipads) it's pretty much the same although mon-fri there's also a limit of 1 hour. They come home from school do what needs to be done around the house then home work, after all that is done the timer is set for 1 hour and they can go on whatever they like swap etc but after an hour that's it for the day.

I 100% agree with not having them in rooms, day or night! If they can't do it in a common area more than likely they shouldn't be doing it at all.

We're having issues with DS too and the whole "but my friends get to do xyz" it's starting to do my head in!

[LimeSlice]

So she has no opportunity for any privacy? What are you trying to teach her with the rules you have in place? Where is the room for her to exercise her own judgment - is there a space for her to bad choices, good and bad, with the freedom to know that you will be there to teach and guide her rather than just punish her?

If I were in her shoes, I would rather you just took the phone away altogether - you seem to not trust her with it anyway, so why continue to set her up to fail?

I don't have teens yet, but I do very clearly remember being a 14 year old girl. And I thank my parents for giving me the space and freedom to make choices - good and bad - and for giving me the respect of not treating me like a child.

We were allowed to use computers in private, we certainly were never asked to give passwords to email accounts. We didn't have FB, but we did have chatrooms and we were trusted to use those without someone looking over our shoulders as well. I would have been outraged if my mother asked me for my email passwords, or to check the messages on my phone! Seriously, the thought outrages me still.
Trying to find your own place in the world is hard, and harder when your parent don't even trust you enough to know that you will make mistakes and you will make some bad choices, but they know you are a good person and they have taught you well.


Just my