My 15yr old sister has moved in and i need HELP

[Cocolove]

Thanks Fluer, its so tough to ask things of her, shes come from being constantly yelled at and orderd around to a loving family & Im just scared of nagging at her, mums still nagging at her from 4 hours away telling her how she can & cant cut her hair, IM her carer now is this a fair statement?

She has it really well here, all id like her to do is tidy up after herself and maybe watch the kids for 10min while i go to the supermarket i dont want to overwhelm her and make her feel like a slave I feel I shouldnt have to ask her to tidy her room it should be known, my house has the worst design you have to walk through her & MJ's room to go to the bathroom so that means people are walking through a bit so i just want it tidy.

Is she too young for a chore chart? Is it too much to ask for her to take washing off the line & do the night dishes and clean up after herself, thats all i ask really!

DD1 has lost her iPod touch due to her attitude!

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

Is she too young for a chore chart? Is it too much to ask for her to take washing off the line & do the night dishes and clean up after herself, thats all i ask really!

Hell no, at her age i was doing a LOT more.. cooking tea, dishes, chopping wood, washing ,vacing.. i was doign LOTS.
DD1 is 2 and she already helps make her own bed, we get her to help put her toys away and she helps vac.. it's not forced and i know THIS TO SHALL PASS but if she can do it at 2 then a 15yr old can manage.. stay strong babe, your an amazing mum and a wonderful sister.

[Mak]

How long has she been with you? I would err on the side of caution and go gently with her. So perhaps just gently chat to her about the room needing to be accessed and give her some easy options to plonk stuff on/behind.
Moving out of home cos you have no options there anymore would be rough no matter how your behaviour has prompted it so I think she is probably after some reassurance that she has a place with you (and probably still with your mum etc). I realise you need to have things function but it may take some time to get your groove going together too. Is there any chance of tapping into some counselling for her (and you) to give you both some time to debrief and discuss your strategies with someone neutral? You both will need some neutral support so you can talk with out filtering your concerns/needs. I know it may sound OTT but she is still very young and you are her sister so renegotiating those boundaries will be difficult.
Does school have any options to support her? It is a tricky age to establish yourself again especially if you are feeling a bit lost anyway.
She is lucky to have you.