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Thread: Nasty Friend

  1. #1

    Default Nasty Friend

    I am feeling really sad for my ds at the moment who is nearly 7. He has a friend at school that he has been friends with for years, they have always played together and been great buddies. But lately ds has been saying this child doesn't want to play with him, will only play with him at morning tea not lunch time or sometimes not all. This child says we need to play with other people we always play together etc. This child just seems to blow hot and cold which is behaviour I personally can't stand.

    My ds, I feel, just doesn't understand what he has done wrong and still wants to play with this child and feels upset even though he does find someone else to play with when x doesn't want to play with him which is good, at least he is not alone crying at school. I have told ds just to play with other people and that he doesn't have to accept anyone treating him badly and he has other friends although he mostly just wants to play with x.

    I get on with x's mum quite well but am inclined just to stay out of this and let them sort it out for themselves and say nothing to x's mum. I always try to be supportive towards ds and just listen to what he has to say. I am really hoping they are in different classes next year. Am I doing the right thing :smt102


  2. #2

    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    NW Tasmania
    Posts
    254

    Default

    I think you are doing the right thing....I know that with this sort of thing it is really best to stay out of all of it...(at least this is what i have found)
    My 6 yr old DD had the same problem at her school with a few of her friends but i found they always sorted it out between themselves in the end....
    Maybe just suggest to him gently that he needs to find some other people to play with too?? I dont know whether your DS would have anyone else to play with but if he does maybe it would be better if he was playing with the others and looking like he really wasnt worried by x's behaviour towards him...
    I really think that they will sort it out themselves in time though....
    ((((hugs))))) it is so hard when your kids argue and you want to defend them but know that it isnt the right thing to do .....

  3. #3

    Default

    Thank you for your reply suzie. My ds was near tears last night he said he hasn't done anything wrong and this friend is nice to everyone else except him, he also said he doesn't want to go to school anymore but went along ok today.

    I just told him to play with other kids but he does seem to be too dependent on this friend, he might be a bit clingly I don't know for sure. I might get some of the other boys from school around for a play so that might help build some other friendships. I think I might also request they are in different classes next year, if it is possible so he has to make friends with other children.

    I get so upset for my ds but agree it is best to stay out of it.

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    NW Tasmania
    Posts
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    I hope i helped a bit....
    I know how badly they feel when their friends wont play with them,but i guess it is all part of the growing up and getting out into the world process....
    Having some boys round from school sounds like a great idea!! Definitely something to pursue anyway....The different classes thing sounds good too....
    My DD6 is currently really mad at her teacher,so we have problems here too....
    Im so sorry your DS feels bad about it all,and hope it works out for the best in the end....Maybe if he is a bit clingy to this friend it might be the reason the friend is trying to distance himself?? I dont know,just chucking a couple of ideas around that you could talk to your DS about....
    Good luck!!

  5. #5

    Default

    You have definitely helped Suzie. It sometimes helps just to offload. Well today they were friends again and played nicely according to ds so I think it is best for them to sort things out. Will defintely pursue having some other kids over for a play as I think you need more than just one friend anyway.

    Not sure that ds is a completely innocent party, maybe he was being bossy and clingy. It is hard to know at this age as you only sometimes get part of the story. But I don't like him being upset.

    Anyway am glad he came home happy today. See what happens tomorrow.

    Maree

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    NW Tasmania
    Posts
    254

    Default

    So glad he came home happier and they are playing again....i agree you never get the full story out of them,but we can only go on what we get....
    Glad you have sorted something out and decided to get some more kids over to play....
    heres hoping it was just a kid thing,and now they are friends again it lasts....
    ((((hugs)))) i know it is sometimes hard....

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