Sorry the little 2 were fighting over a banana....
You know once when I went to get her, she was at the pool & I was just so fed up I went to the cops & got them to go & get her. I waited at the station. They picked her up for me from the pool, in front of all her friends&threw her in the back of the paddy waggon!She was feral LOL, the cops gave her the once over too.
But she keeps doing it.
I have to drive 15k's to her bus stop to pick her up & I feel like a right dill when she's not there. Somedays I leave late, so I avoid seeing the bus & if she's on there, she gets to wait...wondering... but it doesn't work!!
Do you think I should just stay home next time & call the cops? I don't know if they would like to drive all the way out here to bring her home though.
I really do not know what else to do.
I hope this next meeting will be of some help.
It doesn't even bother her that I am the one who is going to get in the crap for her antics.
She's really not my usual lovely 14yo anymore, she's like a stranger..
My Dp has threatened to take my charmer to the city at night and walk around with her so she can SEE HOW LUCKY SHE IS - I'll take your one too if you like....
Seriously is there somewhere the cops can take her to scare the crap outta her??
Your lovely DD has disappeared off with mine I fear......
I think she is in there somewhere underneath it all, when you get a glimpse of the kid you know it can make it easier to keep trooping along....
I feel so darn guilty sometimes because I KNOW I haven't spent as much time with her as I used to. But I have 2 more little ones to take care of now, she can't be The One anymore, baaaah to them both!
can the cops pick her up and hold her UNTIL you can come and get her - make her wait and sweat on whether you'll actually show up or not? i don't know if they do that sort of thing, but i know the local cop here would if a kid was going feral - but he's a top bloke like that!
i'm not sure what else to suggest - maybe contact local youth workers and see what they can help with? i'm pretty sure, in Sydney at least, there are police youth groups that will actually work with the kids to get them integrated back into school at least part time, and then in external activities for the rest of the time - but at all times, while they're not actively in school, for school hours they're in "police custody" as it is... will see if i can get some more details for you later today
is it bad that i'm actually GLAD we live in the sticks out here - with nothing more interesting for our kids to do but to go to school? and i haven't even popped yet...
I'm desperately inexperienced, having only got one 2 year old, but i would go with natural consequences, which to me are either if you can't be trusted to stay in school mummy is going to have to come sit in class every day with you (probably not an option with all the other littlies) or alternatively that if you don't get on the bus you don't come home. Tell her in advance you're ready to talk about whatever it is you can do to help stop this happening but that you won't be coming to get her anymore, and that if she's not on the bus you'll just call the cops in future.
Tell her you want to understand her but you're not psychic and that she needs to communicate about whatever is wrong that is making her do this. It sounds like an attention-getting ploy, so all you can do is stop giving her attention for it (by letting the cops catch up with her and bring her home) and give her attention in other ways by trying to get some alone time with her that ISN'T her misdemeanors, kwim? I think sometimes with both toddlers and teens their behaviour can get so insane it can end up that every interaction you have with them is about something they've done wrong and every thing you MIGHT have done together has already been negated or prevented as a punishment before you begin because it's so hard to keep up with their behaviour. Can you create a one-on-one time with her, JUST her, that will not be affected by her actions in other areas and will not be a time to discuss her behaviour? Might help you get reconnected...?
Having said all that my mother would have come and sat with me at every lesson for a week if i'd missed a single DAY of school, but then i was her youngest. Though she wouldn't have needed to do it, she ALWAYS did what she said she would and so we took her threats very seriously! LOL.
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