thread: Sick or something else?

  1. #1
    Chi-Chi Guest

    Sick or something else?

    Hey there,
    I have a gorgeous 9yr old daughter, who is having regular tummy aches. She complains sometimes in the evenings but mostly in the mornings, saying she feels sick. She has a wonderful teacher whom she loves and a nice little group of friends, with one "bestie".
    I'm wondering if there's something going on at school which is why she doesn't want to go. Also, I work full time & am starting to wonder if she just wants to stay home to be with me.
    I'd be grateful for any advice as to how to approach this one. When I try to talk to her she just says everythings fine.

  2. #2

    Maybe ask her if she needs to see a doctor for her tummy pains. I used to pull the sore tummy trick all the time as well but mine was early high school age.

    Love :hbeat:

  3. #3
    ok take 2 of going back to work.....

    Nov 2004
    Giving the gift of life to a friend..

    I agree I would suggest visiting a Dr, if she keeps saying he is fine then it could just be her missing you.
    My DD was almost 3 when I started working full time & her hair feel out behind both of her ears! Luckily she had long hair so noone else could tell, but I was really worried, I took her to see the DR & they said it was seperation Anxiety, as DH was not yet living here full time, I had more time with her & made sure my friends came over once DD was in bed & whenever I was home with her we did everything together.
    About 8 months later it had totally grown back!

    But I would take her to see the Dr if she keeps complaining... Just to reassure yourself & also her.. I know 9 is young, but could it be early menstrual pain, or growing pains?

  4. #4
    Chi-Chi Guest

    Thanks for the reply Tracey, it's been a while since I posted this one...We've had some good days since then but still have bad days & she's often complaining of nausea, still usually first thing in the morning, or at night when she's getting tired.
    I've been really paying attention to what's going on in our lives when she's not feeling well, I think when we haven't spent much one-on-one time together she gets quite anxious. I'm trying to just have some quiet time with her every evening & giving her lots of reassurance.
    I don't think it's the physical changes of puberty just yet (God forbid!!), she's not showing any signs of little boobies or anything! But I do think as kids start to grow up they feel stress/pressure to fit in amongst the "cool" kids & to have a boyfriend (yes, even at 9 yrs old!!!) & wear the right clothes etc & plus there's always little tiffs with young girls, they can be right b$#%&'s.
    Maybe she's just feeling a little vulnerable at the moment & needs some extra TLC. I've also been encouraging her to have friends stay over & then organise movies & popcorn & stuff, she loves that.
    So we'll see how things go, thanks for your concern
    Geez, it helps so much to have you ladies to turn to!

  5. #5
    ok take 2 of going back to work.....

    Nov 2004
    Giving the gift of life to a friend..

    Good Luck, I am not looking forweard to the older years!!!

  6. #6
    BellyBelly Member

    Jun 2004

    I'm not sure whether this is relevant but I was like this at this age,maybe a year or 2 younger...? (throwing up or feeling sick when I got to school) and my problem was BREAKFAST. I wasn't having it as a proper meal, sometimes just a juice or even nothing, and when I was 'weaned on' to breakfast a lot of my problems cleared up.
    May not be the issue but thought i'd mention it

  7. #7
    BellyBelly Life Member

    Jul 2004
    House of the crazy cat ladies...

    Hi Chi-Chi,
    I dont know if this is relevant or not, but around the age of 10/11 I used to fake sickies a lot. When I look back on those years now, I am convinced I must have had some severe anxiety disorder although no one picked up on it. I was petrified of playing sports/playing in the band/singing in the choir/public speaking and had a fear of fainting. Plus I got glasses and pnemonia(sp) in the same year and my friends started making fun of me and then all of a sudden I didnt have any friends at all...
    I still feel traumatised by the way I was picked on, and I wish my own mother had picked up on it and talked to me about it.

    I'm not suggesting that anything of this sort is happening to your daughter, but I do think its a great idea that you are paying her lots of attention and making sure she's ok, good on you

  8. #8
    Our castle is now full

    Nov 2004
    Western Australia

    Hi I know that this was originally a November post but I also have two daughter who do the same sorts of things. Aged 10 and 8, they are two very sensitive lil beings so every now and then we introduced mental health days where they could stay home from school and just hang out..say once a month. Its worked well for us, that combined with special Mummy and or Daddy time where we do something just the two of us. It seemed to give them more control of how they were feeling and stopped the trying to fake being sick thing happening. HTH


  9. #9
    Chi-Chi Guest

    Gosh girls, I've just come across your replies & as usual, you ladies are so helpful & supportive! Thankyou! I'm glad to be reminded of this issue, it helps to look at how things have changed for her & us & to try to stay "aware" as a parent.

    Ambah, I too experienced anxiety as a child, esp with social situations, sports (totally unco-ordinated & as a result always the last to be picked for teams etc) & anything to do with getting up in front of the class. My dad had left & my mother had been in hospital for a lengthy period & I think I felt that while I was at school something else 'bad' might happen. So I was genuinely feeling sick & was always wanting to stay home. I hope I'm a way more conscious parent! My DD is very outgoing & the social thing is not an issue, but I think she gets anxious about me being at work alot.

    Katey, I'm with you on the breaky thing. She never wants to eat in the morning (nor do I really), but towards the end of the year & even now, I started trying to make the mornings more relaxed & fun. I would set the table & make yummy things like fruit salad & pikelets & we would sit together to eat & chat & it has now become "our" time.

    Jo, I love the idea of having mental health days. My girl is also a sensitive little soul & I do try to have quality time with her because of that. I cant let her have days off school (cause of work), but on the weekends I try to just spend time hanging out like you said. She loves going shopping or to the movies, but I try to take her out to eat or just spend the afternoon at home with magazines, anything where we can just relax & talk about anything & everything. Thankfully, she's quite a girlie-girl just like her mum, so we paint our toe-nails or I let her give me a makeover. I wish it wasn't so hard to make time for her, I do wish I was still a SAHM for that very reason. But we do the best we can hey?!

    Again, thankyou to you wonderful, thoughtful ladies. It's so good to know we share some of the same experiences as parents, your advice & support is so welcome & much appreciated!!