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Thread: teenager girl chat

  1. #109

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    well I hope lulu that your dad has reneg on the offer - or at least changed it to being a christmas present. little maniuplator! I'd be furious. at both of them for that matter.


  2. #110
    paradise lost Guest

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    LOL lulu, my mum let me have the CB (child benefit) once for 3 months and told me out of it i had to buy all my lunches, my new uniform and my bus fares to and from school (i could get a lift from dad there and walk back but i was a lazy jones too....) and within a WEEK i was taking packed lunches and walking home! LOL.

    I hope you guys don't mind me being here. I don't have a teenager but i live in terror of when DD is 13 and DP has to deal with the "you're not even my DAD!" comments!

    Bx

  3. #111

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    forewarned is forearmed I reckon bec! Can I recommend a really good book for you Celebrating Girls: Nurturing and Empowering Our Daughters: Virginia Beane Rutter. Its brilliant.

  4. #112

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    Hi Ladies
    Just wondering how everyone is going with there teenagers atm as there has not been much activity in here for awhile which is probably a good thing as it may mean they are all behaving.
    My dd is starting secondary school next week and although it is exciting in one way i am also scared for a few reasons, firstly i am worried she will not cope in such a big school with all the older kids, secondly she is having some confidence issues lately and i am worried she would not ask for help if she needed some, thirdly i dont want her to get mixed in the wrong crowd. I know these are probably things i need her to work our for herself but i cant help but worry about her making the right choices.
    Anyone have any advice from when there teens started secondary school?

  5. #113

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    Thats a tough one Abb. My DD stuck with her friends from primary school when she went to HS with one exception who turned out to be a right little cow- that culminating in her mother screaming at me down the phone.
    I have found that you really can't choose their friends and the more you dislike them the more she'll like them I found that by making it more difficult to see them (unable to drive her to their houses etc) but never saying anything negative about them it helped but really there's not much you can do.
    I am lucky DD has lovely friends mostly and I get on well with them.
    You will find at the start of HS your DD will prob stick with her friends she knows. Its such a scary time, I was pertified when I started high school! I cried every day LOL DD just breezed in and announced she loved it after day 1.

  6. #114

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    well i just found this thread and found it so interesting my dd is turning 11 in june but she already is having pimples regular.... she is mostly well ebehaved sorry ladies... but seems to switch off alot non repsoncive when asked to do things. i have to get ehr to acknowledge she heard me i say "yes mom" then i get a responce. well im interested in reading your stories and gaining support also.

  7. #115

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    Don't feel bad that she's well behaved Squidpa!! Most of our DDs were lovely at that age too LOL

  8. #116

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    lol mrsmac i was feelling pretty impressed i got a kiss today from her in her class room with all kids round

  9. #117

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    we had a few meltdowns over the holidays... seemed to be an "eve" thing - christmas eve, new year's day eve, and then the eve of her birthday! so the 24, 31 and then the 2nd of January. was a pretty revolting couple of weeks actually.

    DD started highschool today too. She was very nervous this morning, came home, and was disappointed I think... her response was "it was boring".

    abb34, i hear you on all fronts. its how I have felt as well. I said to her late last year that I was happy to let her go to the local highschool where she wanted to go, but the minute her grades fell, or her behaviour changed for the worse, or she started hanging with people I didn't want her too then she would be out of there quicker then she could blink. At the end of the day, she has to take repsonsiblity for the choices she makes. so if she makes good choices, she can stay there - make bad choices, and its the strict catholic school for her!

  10. #118

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    Vx i wanted dd to go to the private catholic school also but she wanted to go to this one, we have entered her into a laptop program at school for year 7 through to 9 and one of the major reasons why is of the class she is in are mainly good students. I spoke to alot of parents and teachers at the school and was pretty much told if you can get them in this particular class (they only take 25 a year) that there is never any trouble. Luckily she passed the entreance test and got in. She has 2 girls and 2 boys from her primary school also in this class but apparently they are nerds (her words). She is a good kid majority of the time and has been fairly well behaved atm, we have layed down alot of rules lately and dp and i have come together and discussed boundaries etc that we both agree on, so the united front is definetly working. Fingers crossed it remains that way. I think it is just me worrying about my little girl going out into the big wide world of exploration, and i remember what i was like at high school and its scary to think back now at some of the things i did. My mum would have flipped if she new half of it.
    Thanks ladies for all your comments i think i just need to let it ride and be ready for any bumps in the road she may face and hope she comes to me if she needs to.

  11. #119

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    hi ladies
    i wish i could say everything is going well things have been good and bad shes a good kid most of the time but if things arent what she wants well look out and i told her this year it has to change her school report last year was so bad most of the comments were if her attidude was better.
    and this yr she is starting yr 9 which is a big year im trying to explain to her she needs to get along with teachers she has to be told what to do she cant get over that she thinks she can do what she wants shes 13 i love how they can to a certain age and they rule the world.
    last night she was meant to be home at 6 well she decided to rock home at 8.oopm and then yells at me and says i was only down the road i got so mad she understands i worry but she just doesnt care she yells at me and says i dont understand anything .
    its like i have no fear over her she can do what she wants and whatever i say dosent care
    i feel like i have no discpline over her which scares me

  12. #120

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    Hi Shazza, can I recommend a really good book - princess *****face syndrome. easy to read, and explains alot of what is going on in their world developmentally. doesnt necessarily make it any easier to deal with - but at least you can have some understanding - that can make a difference.

  13. #121

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    Shazza i have the book Vx is talking about and it is great, gives you an insight into what is going on there minds..
    Its tough and i am not looking forward to the next few years with my dd, but i am prepared i think.lol

  14. #122

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    abb another book I recommend is Kaz Cooke's Girl Stuff. My daughter and I got given it last year for our birthdays, and it has been brilliant. great point of departure for conversations. have a look at it, and see what you think.

  15. #123

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    Thanks i will, i actually seen it recently in target.

  16. #124

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    My eldest DD is also going into year 9 this year and I'm hoping that she keeps her grades up. Not only have the boys discovered her but she has discovered boys and I mean older ones. She dates a guy in year 11. Now she will be turning 14 this month and I hope that she will be sensible and not try to have sex yet (worried frown). We are still able to talk about things but I'm not sure about this. I know I never told my mum anything but I do have a different relationship with my DD.

    Please please reassure me. When do I need to panic??

  17. #125

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    Um I wold love to reassure you Kim but as a friend of mine who is a high school teacher pointed out- most boys that age are only interested in food and s e x! No offence to your DD but I wonder what a Yr11 boy would see in someone so mcuch younger (at this age its a big difference) Having said that many girls are more mature than their male peers.
    My DD started going out with a guy 2 yrs ahead of her at the end of yr 10, it lasted over a year but part of their problem was that once he turned 18 he could go to pubs etc that she couldn't go to. She did sleep with him after she turned 16 and I know he had slept with his previous girlfriend so that was part of him being older but then again a lot of her friends have slept with guys they are going out with who are the same age.
    Sorry if this is a mindless ramble, good luck with it all hun, I am always here if you need to chat.

  18. #126

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    dont envy this one Kim... so not looking forward to that scenerio. at the moment my DD still shudders at the thought of a penis coming anywhere near her! how long that is gonna last ... well we shall wait and see. i have a completely different relationship with my dd to the relationship I had with my mother as well. we have very open conversations, and if she asks me a direct question I give her an answer unless i feel that she needs to hear the answer when she is a little older... and I say that to her.

    What do you think of this boy she is going out with Kim? do you like him? become his new best friend, so that hanging at you house is far more inviting then do anything else, iykwim. good luck with it hun.

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