I used to hear the same excuse from my DSD's... 'oh sorry, I forgot'... oh how I have learnt to detest that empty apology!!
So now, if they are at home while I'm at work and I need things done, I write a list.
S - today you need to do at least 2 x loads of washing, hang out all washing, take off when dry. Fold all clothes.
T - today you need to fold the towels, empty the recycle bin, take out the rubbish.
When I get home, I'll go through the list with them. If it's not done, they do it then and there and let me know when it's done. In the mean time, there is no phone / internet / tv.
I completely agree with what you've done. It can't be one-sided. It's not fair. It is hard to stick to your guns, but it will definitely be a great lesson for her to learn. And it doesn't have to be done in anger, just keep calm and carry on about your day.
I like what Marydean has said too - these are basic life lessons you are teaching her. It's not a punishment, it's basic self-maintenance.
Thank you, thank you everyone. Some awesome advice there that I will be taking on board.
She came home & went straight upstairs to sleep. I let her go, and we will talk when things have cooled off a bit (it will take her a while to settle, and it will give me a chance to think about what we can do).
I think we as a family need a bit more routine. I have been feeling a need for routine (almost ritual in some instances) myself. So we might all benefit from that.
I don't work Tuesdays & Thursdays. I would be happy if she agreed to one specific chore on the days I am at work (provided she's not at work of course), it doesn't take much to make a big difference when I walk in the door. And the boys can do the same.
I am a big softie, and I know it doesn't do them any favours. Time to toughen up a bit
We had a talk and I told all three of the older kids, the days when I work is when I need the most from them. And I don't need much just a bit.
So on the afternoons I am working, DD1 & DS2 will tidy up downstairs & pick up anything lying around. DD1 will sweep, DS2 will take out the rubbish & bring down the washing. DS1 will tidy the kitchen, do any dishes. On Wednesdays DD1 will also mop.
It's all stuff they've done a thousand times, not hard & won't take forever but will make a huge difference to me when I walk in the door at 6pm. The hardest part will be, they really need to also just pick up after themelves & not leave crap lying around.
Oh and DD1 has to at least tidy the bathroom on weekends. It's pretty feral.
I do have a whiteboard that I used to write shopping lists. So yesterday morning before I left for work I wrote their jobs up there. No excuses for forgetting
If it doesn't get done, the two boys will have to catch it up on teh afternoons that I am home. DD1 will be left to her own washing, cooking etc.
We'll see how it goes.
Thanks for all the advice and for letting me vent
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