I am so sorry that Joel is being such a horrible teenager...but they all do it! I have been through heaps of the terrible teen stuff with friends and to say its total hell is an understatement!
They all go through the blame everyone else for their behaviour! Anything that goes wrong is always someone elses fault, usually the parent at hand and you cop the abuse for it!
Most of my friends have ended up speaking rationally to their kids, telling them that they are old enough to be responsible for their own time management and that you are not to blame! They also got their kids into see the school counsellor, sometimes kids open up a little more with a stranger and most of the time the counsellor will let you know if there are any huge issues that you should know about and deal with!
I know that you love your son heaps, but at times it becomes too much to handle and is easier to try and walk away and get some perspective!
I am going through heaps with my almost 13 y/o daughter and its soooo hard, but I know that we will get there eventually!
Dinky, I am seriously thinking about calling up the school and asking the counsellor to talk to him. I know I will cop abuse for doing that though too.
I hope all goes well for you with your daughter too.
Sheri, I called his dad yesterday for him to have a talk to him. Apparently he had been good over there. Hmm probably coz he got it all out here. Anyway I am going to call him back today to find out if this discussion actually happened. I asked Joel this morning if his Dad had spoken to him and apparently not. I have tried talking ot him about the effect he has on the household and the tension he causes then he says that it's not his fault either.
I can only hope that he does grow out of this. I know it could be worse, he doesn't drink or smoke or take drugs. He doesn't wag school or steal things (that I know of) so yeah it could be a whole lot worse. I just want to nip it all in the bud before it gets there.
My little sister did this with our Dad and got "sent" to live with me - so I have dealt with this kind of stuff too.
Is it possible there is an underlying issue that is generating this behavior? Could he be struggling at school, bored at school, getting bullied, be struggling with the seperation of his parents, you meeting someone new, the birth of a little sister? None of these things are your fault so PLEASE don't think that, but sometimes they can trigger behavior issues in children and teenagers. If you can find the underlying issue and address that, it should go a long way in helping his behavior.
Someone else suggested counselling which is a great idea. We put my sister in counselling and it helped her heaps. The other option is anger management "classes" which might help him learn more appropriate ways of dealing with his frustrations. If you contact your local community health care centre (or council) they should be able to direct you to classes and venues.
I hope this works out for you. It can be so hard when teens act out. Hang in there.
Reply With Quote
I have tried talking ot him about the effect he has on the household and the tension he causes then he says that it's not his fault either. 
Bookmarks