Feels a bit harsh

[Nicolab]

Me and my husband are still trying to conceive following our two losses last year and as you know it is a pretty emotional journey!

I am still having good and bad days, I don't think it helps that the majority of my friends are pregnant or have just had another baby. My husband has dealt with losing the babies and says he is in a really happy place, so much that he is quite happy to stop trying for another baby.

Anyway, in an attempt to understand how I was feeling, he visited a counsellor. Her advise to him was to pull me up if my moods, sadness, grief (not sure what word he used) got in the way of normal family life. Does this sound right to anyone?

I may not have got over things as quickly as some, but was a believer in it takes time. So suddenly to be told to snap out of being sad, seems a bit harsh. I am not sad all the time, I have a son to consider and as those of you who are mothers know life has to go on.

Thanks ladies xx

[Chocaholic]

Are you sure he interpreted it correctly? If she told him to "pull you up", maybe she meant let you know that it was impacting the family at that particular time, not to tell you to snap out of it.

Men are not as emotional as women usually so it would be difficult for him to comprehend why you are not coping in the same manner that he has.

[myturn]

Are you sure he interpreted it correctly? If she told him to "pull you up", maybe she meant let you know that it was impacting the family at that particular time, not to tell you to snap out of it.

I was thinking the same thing. Sometimes things a counsellor says can be misinterpreted easily, and maybe he doesn't have the skills to communicate it to you in the way you need.
Its hard for a counsellor to help someone see another's point of view, if all he is bringing to the table is his stuff.... There is only one picture to base the support and suggestions on.

Its hard not to dwell on this stuff, maybe finding other things to think about and do would help the TTC stuff be kess overwhelming.



I wish it wasn't do hard for any of us.

[Starfish]

I agree that he probably misinterpreted what the counselor said.
Your feelings, no matter what they are, are valid, and no (good) counselor would ever recommend someone else telling you to dismiss them.
I personally would have interpreted the words "pull you up" to mean to help you, as in help pull you out of the hole, itms. Have you been to a counselor yourself?

[maybebaby2012]

I agree with the above, sometimes things get lost in translation, and sometimes you hear what you want to hear despite what is actually being said (or not). Big hugs to you x