How do you handle this situation?

Leigh
I am so sorry for your losses, and I can relate to where you are coming from but not on as large scale. With each of my losses I had a friend that was due at a very similar time to me and I still struggle with the knowing that I would have had one at that age even now. Something that I don't think you ever get over.

You just smile when your friends have their babies and wish them all the best and then get on here and vent.... It is the only way I made it through.
I am also on the other end of the scale too now, I have a friend who was due tomorrow and I am due on the 20th, two days after. She miscarried so I am incredibly aware of how I felt and will personally call her when this bub arrives and let her know. I have already sat her down and said if you don't want to see me for months after the birth I understand. She says she will come and see me but I don't think you quite know how you will handle the situation until you are in it.
Just do the best you can for your friends and you are allowed to be jealous and hate them from the inside, just come in here and talk to us, we know!
take care and good luck!

Hi Rowie,

Thank you so much for your kind words and support!!! Congratulations and good luck for your up and coming birth, be sure to let us all know how you got on, we'll be thinking of you!! It gives me great hope in reading stories such as yours where you have had losses then gone on to have a healthy pregnancy.

Take care and good luck on the 20th!!!

Wow, thats sooo freaky. My D&C revealed my uterus was stuck to my bladder and one tube was stuck to my inner abdomen wall! They released them both but the dr said he wasnt sure if either were effecting conception, although the dye test revealed that the tube that was stuck to my inner abdomen, even after they had released it, was kinked due to being stuck to something for so long therefore the dye did not run through a second time.
But he said only time will tell if that will be a problem or if it will just unkink after being released for a while. Who knows! I also had heaps of scar tissue that they had to cut away, probably from the caesarian.
But he is also giving us about 6 months before any other intervention, because of my age etc.
I just cant believe how similar our stories are! Good luck with ovulation hun, lets hope all goes well and we both get our :bfp: in a couple of weeks. Ill keep you posted about what goes on. I have a blog too so ill post there as well.

:goodluck::goodluck::goodluck: issy

I got a text message from my best friend this morning to tell me she did a pregnancy test this morning and it was positive. So I now have 8 friends pregnant. Im actually not upset about her being pregnant for some reason, maybe because she is in a bit of a tough situation though coz she has only been seeing her new boyfriend for about 2 months. She is on the pill but has forgotten to take it a few times coz he lives an hour away from her so she stays there quite a bit. She is so scared to tell him.

Hi leigh,
I hope your friend is doing ok. I was sort of in a similar situation, I found out I was pregnant only 4 months after meeting my now DH. We were shocked (and only 19) and soooo scared. It didnt go down so great with the family at first but we all stuck together and supported eachother and now we cant imagine life any other way.

Last year my two sisters found out they were pregnant, one is 21 and the other almost 23. One sister decided after 8 weeks that she would keep her baby, she is in a relationship with a great guy who is 30 and although they had only been seeing eachother for a couple of months, they worked it out and are now happier than ever. My other sister decided it was just not possible to have a baby and she had an abortion. I also found out I was pregnant at this time, so my poor mum had 3 daughters pregnant, each with different feelings about it and each ending with a different outcome, 1 birth, 1 abortion and 1 m/c. Crazy time. Although it was hard to imagine someone not wanting their baby, I understood that this was the best thing for her. And watching my other sister go on to have a smooth pregnancy was a little hard, but meeting my nephew has been amazing and I love him so much. I guess no matter what happens, you just have to surround yourself with supportive people, listen to eachother and trust that what you feel you need to do is the right thing.

I really hope your friend is ok and has supportive people around her, she is lucky to have you, you sound like a very supportive and understanding friend, even though you are having a difficult time yourself.

And I hope you are ok, even when I didnt feel so jealous about certain people who announced their pregnancies, it can still be hard to see someone in a position (pg)that you wish so much you were in.

Issy x x

Hi Issy,

My friend went to the dr yesterday and is waiting for her bloodtest results. She still hasnt told her boyfriend yet, she's waiting to get the results from the dr first, plus she's still trying to figure out how to tell him because she is scared. She has told her mum, her mum was shocked and had a go at her saying why wasnt she more careful etc but knowing her mum she'll be fine once she is over the shock. She's had a bit of spotting for the last few days so hopefully things work out ok, I have a good feeling about it.

My god we have another thing in common, my DH and I were only together for about 4 months too when I fell pregnant. I remember I was so scared to tell him but like you it all worked out for the best and we couldnt be happier.

Have you ovulated yet? When I told you on Sunday that my opk was almost positive I think I may have reached the surge that night (although I didnt test later that night) but ever since my opks are getting lighter and on monday I had a temp drop and now yesterday and today they are up really high. I didnt get to bd yesterday and my DH is asleep at the moment coz he's just come off night shift. He's got to go back to work at 5 pm so I told him when he came to bed this morning that I would be in around 3:30 to BD. God I hate having to plan doing it like this. It takes all the fun out of it. I want to keep bd-ing just in case I havent o'd yet.

Take care and I'll talk 2u soon

Hi Leigh,

Its really amazing how much we have in common! :)

I have had a **** morning! I started bleeding this morning, quite heavy and had no idea why! :wall: I should be ovulating right now, which I was pretty sure I was because my left ovary was sore (it always is at the time of ovulation). Anyway, I rang my FS (a friend of the family) and he said to come right in and have a scan. So I did and he noticed that my uterine lining was a bit thinker than normal for this stage of my cycle and there were a few whiter marks which indicate that there is still some thick blood and tissue left over from the m/c in Jan. He said that it will probably pass with the next AF, which I can expect in about 14 days. But the bad news is that there is really only a small chance of conception this month, due to bleeding and thick lining, :(. What a waste of clomid!

Anyway, im going to keep my spirits up and try again next month. Its got to happen one day. Maybe next month will be the month. But I really hope it all goes well for you and get a :bfp: soon :pray:

I hope it all works out with your friend too. Somehow things have a way of working out, eventually!

Let me know how things go anyway hun.

Speak soon,
Issy x x

Oh Issy, it sounds like you had a terrible morning yesterday, don't give up hope on conceiving this month. Usually it's the months where you least expect to fall pregnant that you actually do. My fingers are x'd for both of us!!! I'm not sure if I have ovulated now coz my temp went back down this morning, Im just so scared im going to miss it. I bought some digital ovulation tests Tuesday and there are 7 in the pack. Ive been doing 2 a day though so I'll only have enough to get me through til Fri morning. Ive been getting negatives on them. I'd like to buy another pack but theyre $50, Lucky DH doesnt know how much money I waste on opk's and hpt's every month. Over the last few years I must have spent thousands. Anyway DH has the weekend off so we should be right to BD every day until at least Monday, Im not sure about today though. Hopefully by Monday I would've definitely o'd. My friend went for a scan last night. They couldnt see anything so they dont know if she has had a miscarriage or she's not far enough along to pick anything up on a scan. She's sick of waiting, she'd love to know if she is or not. So she is back to the Dr today who im guessing will send her for more bloodtests to see if her hcg is rising. He didnt tell her what level it was at the other day.

Have a good day and I'll chat soon.

Hi leigh,

Well the bleeding only lasted a day, thankgod, I didnt want it to continue for days only to have AF arrive 2 weeks later! Anyway, im glad to relax on the TTC front for the month, and will start again when everything calms down. Im not sure if I will try clomid again next month as I dont want to over stimuate my ovaries. Taking it puts me at a higher risk of twins, especially cause I already ovulate most of the time (depending on what ovary ov for the month). So ill just ride it out and see how we go.

I know what you mean by the way about buying opk's and hpt. I have bought so many over the last 2 years, that I must have spent hundred and hundreds of $. Unfortunately DH knows about them all and I have had plenty of lectures about buying them too. I just hate waiting for AF to come and would rather know what is going on. However after a few early m/c, Im not sure if I will do that anymore. I think I will just wait until im at leat a month over, and then test, that way if I get AF at any time in between, early m/c or not, I wont know anything about it and can just move on, save me emotionally!

Anyway, have you ovulated yet? I hope you do soon and get in there and bd like no tomorrow!!!:lol: Its all for a good cause!

Chat soon,
Issy x x

Hi Issy,

I dont know what is going on with me ovulating. I was using Confirm opk's which were giving me positives on Wed but I was also using internet cheapies and the digital opk's which were giving me negatives. I've since run out of Confirm opk's and have continued to use i.c's and digital but they keep giving me negatives as well. I used my last digital today. DH and I have been b-ding so hopefully I havent missed it if I have o'd. My temp chart doesnt indicate that I have o'd but I dont take my temp at the exact same time everyday. I usually do it anywhere from 6am - 6:30am so maybe that's why my charts not showing it. I guess only time will tell. Im on clomid too, even though I ovulate on my own my Dr said it was worth a try. This is my 2nd cycle on it and the first cycle I o'd on CD14. Im now CD15. I take clomid on CD2 - CD6. Yeah I keep telling myself that Im going to hold off testing until way after AF to save me the heartbreak of miscarriages but Im way too anxious to hold off on testing and always start testing around 7dpo. I cant help myself, even though I know Im going to get negative results.

My friend has started bleeding heavy today and with nothing showing up on her scan the other day it looks like she's either had a miscarriage or in the middle of one. She is the only other friend I know that has had a miscarriage and as cruel as it sounds it now feels good to have a friend who's had one and knows what it is like. At least if I have another one (which I pray I never have another one) at least I can talk to her about it coz has been through it.

Have a great weekend
Chat soon.

Sorry to hear about your friend's loss, at least she has you to be there for her.

A word of advice about the HPT's. You really need to make rules for yourself about testing, or else it will become a very expensive hobby. After a while I used to have a rule that I would only test if I was late, or on the day my AF was due and was getting symptoms (always got those on non pregnant cycles), or if I experienced what looked like an implantation dip in my cycle (I had these with both this pregnancy and the one prior, but never in a non pregnant one). It saved a lot of money and anguish with testing and getting BFN. Also, those predictor kits just don't work for some women so it might be worth your while to stop using them. Are you getting EWCM? That was my best indicator. Whenever I saw that around O I would fall pregnant (I didn't get it every month so it was a sure sign for me).

Good luck to you this month, I hope this is your lucky one.

Hi Satya,

Yeah I agree with your advice. Thats why I dont test anyore, I just wait to see what happens over the month after AF is due. Im not always very regular so it could be at any time, therefore waiting is always a god idea.

Unfortunatley, I get pg symptoms every month. Sore bb, EWCM at the time of ov, even a bit tired and nauseas when AF is due, so I dont have any indicators. I feel the same way every month, even when I was pg with DS and my m/c.

The female body is an unpredictable thing!

Take care and thanks,
Issy. x x x

Hi Satya and Issy,

I finally got a positive on my internet opk's this morning so DH and I will definitely :bd: this weekend and fingers crossed :fertilise:. I'm going to be strong this month and try and hold out testing until AF is due. I don't have any tests in the house and DH and I are going to Brisbane in April so I'm going to remind myself that I need to save money for our trip.

Hope you both have a great weekend!!!

Hi leigh,

I hope all is going well for you. This feels like the longest month I have ever gone through. I just want AF to come so I can get on with it, new month, new chance :pray:. Im on day 23 or something like that, and not due for AF till cd33, its usually that cd anyway.
I hope your friend is ok. Its good that you can talk to someone about what you have gone through and know they understand what you are talking about. It seems that so many people, who have never gone through m/c, really dont get it! They dont understand that when it happens, you need to mourn, because you have lost something.

Anyway, Im :pray: for your BFP this month! Its great that you got a + on your opk. At least you can be confident that you o'ed this month and that you have done everything you can to :fertilise:.

Im sending good luck to you :goodluck::goodluck::goodluck:

Issy

Hi Issy,

How's things? My friend is doing good. I think she is handling it very well because she only found out she was pregnant on the Monday and by the Thursday she knew she had miscarried. She did say it was probably for the best because she's only in a new relationship and didnt know how her boyfriend was going to react to the news. Deep down inside I know she is still a bit upset (which is only natural) but also knows that everything happens for a reason.

Well I'm CD22 today. I do my temp charting on fertilityfriend.com and they have indicated that I O'd on CD18. Fingers crossed it has happened this month. Even though I know we :bd: at the right time I'm not confident that I will be pregnant for some reason. I guess because I never seem to have any luck any other month. DH and I are going for a weekend away to Brisbane in April with some friends of ours which I am excited about and I said to DH the other day knowing my luck I'll fall preg before then and I wont be able to drink etc while I'm away. Don't get me wrong, I want a baby more than anything and if I fell pregnant I would be totally over the moon but I am excited about having a fun weekend away too.

Do you know when you O'd this month? I know you said you were going to relax on the TTC this month but i'm still praying you'll get a bfp. I'm going to try and hold out until AF is due for testing but I honestly don't know how I will be able to do it. I'll need to keep my mind busy so I don't think about it, easier said than done.

Well take care and have a fantastic weekend!!!

Hi Leigh,

Good to hear your friend is doing ok. As for me I have no idea when I o''ed. It could have been anywhere from cd14 to cd21 (I have been known to O that late). I too track my BBT on fertilityfriend, its so easy to read and I like how it tells you when they think you O?d. I also like the counting down to test day! I feel so in control when I track my temps. This is the first month in so many, that I haven't tracked at all. I thought, perhaps the less I know, the less stressed I would be. Im not sure if that true as yet, but I do know its less to think about anyway. Im not sure of even what cd im on, im just waiting for AF to come, to start everything up again.

It will be nice for you to get away with your DH. You should just let your hair down and drink as much as you like. Sometimes when you do stuff like that, other things happen, when you least expect it :)

Anyway hun, have a great weekend and we'll chat soon.

Issy.

Hi Issy,

Hope you're having a great weekend - even though it's almost over. Well the 1st of my many pregnant friends had her baby last night (a boy), this is her 3rd child. Although I am excited for her it also feels like a piece of my heart has been torn apart too. She's planning on having everyone over to meet bubs during the week sometime, once she's home etc. I don't know how I will handle the situation. I know I'll go there acting all happy but on the inside I will be devastated. The only thing that would make the situation better would be to get a bfp this month. AF is due on Friday but my last cycle I got it late and I o'd later than I normally do, the same as this month. I guess only time will tell hey!!!

Take care and chat soon!!!

Hi Issy,

How's things? Has AF showed or anything yet? If not are you still holding off on doing some tests? Well yesterday I was 8DPO and all the suspense of not testing was getting the better of me. I had some internet cheapie tests as well as some name brand tests so I caved in and did one of the internet cheapies. There was a hint of a 2nd line, so I decided to do a Confirm test and once again a hint of a 2nd line, so I did a First Response, Assurance Plus and Clearblue Digital and guess what? I got my :bfp: I cant belive it, I really thought I didnt have a chance this month. I am very excited but because of my previous miscarriages I am also terrified. Everytime I go to the toilet and I am scared in case I am spotting or bleeding. DH and I have decided not to tell anyone until after 12 wks (coz I lost both my other babies at 12wks). It was so hard not telling anyone yesterday and DH was away for work so I didnt even get to tell him until he rang me at 4pm. I was hoping to tell him in person but I couldnt wait a few more days. I did more tests this morning and they are a lot darker than yesterday.

I really hope this is your month as well, it would be terrific if we were pregnant together. My fingers are x'd for you!!!

I really hope that this baby sticks like super glue :stickyvibesboy::stickyvibesgirl::stickyvibesboy:: stickyvibesgirl:


Fertility Friend has indicated that my due date will be the 17th of November. I havent even booked a Dr appointment yet, I'll wait until next week, think coz I am very nervous.

Anyway hun, take care and please let me know how you get on, I am thinking of you and sending you lots of :bluedust::bluedust::bluedust:

Chat soon