Hi,

I remember a year or so ago trawling through these forum threads in tears after yet another miscarriage. I felt completely distraught, had lost all hope, and felt powerless. I just wanted to post a good news story for those who have suffered secondary recurrent miscarriage - repeated losses after first having a child. This can be so hard because there is often no reason found until you investigate thoroughly and properly, so I want to encourage you to do that. I'm 36 weeks pregnant now and everything is going well (I'm getting frequent ultrasounds too) - largely because I had the right blood tests with the right FS and found out which drugs I needed to take the next time I got pregnant, and I also found a good high risk obstetrician to monitor everything. I just wanted to come back here and post something for women who may be crying as they read these forums, despairing and beyond hope.

If you have just suffered a repeat loss, find a fertility specialist and get proper testing. Don't waste time with GPs or even obstetricians who dismiss it and say it's bad luck (I remember being told "it's just the way the cards have fallen" - very compassionate but not useful at all). Don't accept the 'better luck next time' line, and don't leave it to chance. There are effective treatments available to you, and the sooner you get tested, the sooner you can start trying to conceive again. I've read so much about it all now, and you can improve your chances astronomically if you get the appropriate treatments. I personally found Lynn Burmeister (in Melbourne) was very thorough, but I've also heard Nick Lash and most of the people at Monash and Melbourne IVF were spot on. After you've got pregnant, find a high-risk obstetrician or at least an obstetrician recommended by your FS because your chances improve again with frequent monitoring.

But most of all, realise that the incredible feeling of pain and loss you are experiencing right now will pass, and that there is a good, often great, chance you can have a baby one day. It feels like your heart has been ripped out. I just want you to know there is still hope.