smilanatu....ohhhhh goodness, sometimes when I read a post.... and I m sure its not just me..... but you sit there reading... and running through your head is "ooooohhhh I so know what your saying... or yep... i know how that feels" its like you ve been here... put on my shoes.. walked around and are telling me how they feel. What you just wrote is exactly how I felt about 2 months ago. It was my 39th Birthday and I ended up a few days later coming on here saying goodbye to everyone... maybe I m to old.. maybe i m just being selfish.. I have 2 wonderful boys... maybe I should be traveling now instead.. maybe maybe maybe...... and then my heart took over my head and here I am.. back again..... DH and I have been together for 6 years, married for 4 years in October and the one thing I want to do for him is give him a child and its the one thing I just dont seem to be able to do....... So you are certainly not alone in your thoughts... and regardless of how old I am... I just want to throw a 2 year old tanti.... yell and scream and say its not fair...... you know... really act my age