smilanatu....goodness, I so know where you are at wanting a BFP for EDD. I cant even put an exact date on my EDD because they were twins and wernt going to go the 40 weeks but I was still convinced that it was some sort of balance that would make it that I was pg in time for their EDD.... and as you would know... it didnt happen.... I have only one positive come out of my EDD and that is that I got through it.... may have hid for a while, went into hibernation but I got through it even without the BFP i was convinced I would have. So my heart goes out to you, I completely understand... just take the next few weeks one day at a time and I m here if you need to just rant and rave and yell at how unfair it all is