Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage or Los ~ December 08

Hey girls.... feeling a bit grumpy today.... a little bit of :pms: I presume. I have some interesting B6 info that I've just come to realize. Well, I've been taking B6 for something like 6 mo's, but I stopped taking it about 2 mo's ago.... was curious to see whether or not I would notice a difference. I had some spotting day before yesterday after BD'ing, but didn't really think much about it, because it's happened in the past due to some benign polyps that I have... it's nothing serious, my dr. says that occasional spotting is ok and to be expected. Anyhow, the spotting continued yesterday and today... have also had some cramps and been pretty irritable for the last 3 days, as well.... but AF isn't due for 4 days yet. My thoughts on this are that is has to have something to do with stopping the B6, as it helped increase my LP by 3-4 days to begin with. I also took a HPT today--just a cheapie from the $ store--but it was a BFN--and I'm 13DPO, so it shouldn't be too early. So looks like, once again, I'm out for this month. Kind of a bummer, as FF says my EDD would've been 9/17.... it was Jan. of last year that I found out I was pg with my angel baby, and my EDD for that one was 9/5.... would've made the anniversary a little easier to deal with. Sorry.... just feeling a bit down about it all. Where's the cheese that goes with all that whine??? :boohoo: Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.



Toccara--Hey hon... 2009's gonna be the year for both of us! Here's some lucky :pink-babydust: for us both! *hugs*



babymiracles--Best of :goodluck: with your egg collection on Fri! Saying lots of prayers for a BFP success!!



AJC--Thanks for the :hug: I really needed it! Back atcha--and Master Samuel, as well!



erybery--Good luck with the Clomid! I'm counting down with you!



Acria--I love your idea of preparing for a baby to show God you're ready. Any excuse to shop is a good one to me!! lol... Sorry again to hear about AF--she's such a b!atch!!!! *hugs*



firstbub--Welcome to our little thread! I'm sorry for the reasons that bring you here, but am looking forward to getting to know you while we're on this bumpy TTC journey together. I also O'ed on Christmas, so looks like we're cycle buddies! Wishing you the best of luck! *hugs*



WTH--:comfort: I wish I had the magic words... or a wand to grant you your wish... just know that you're in my thoughts. I'm so sorry...



HannahD--DF actually found my thermometer, thanks for asking! It was lost in the bed--much easier to find in the daylight when nobody's sleeping in it! Hope things are well with you! *hugs*



Ruthie--You poor thing... sending lots of comforting :hug: your way!



Theresa--I'm sure that your DF is probably just as frustrated as you are... men seem to deal with these kinds of things differently, tho. I know for my DF, it's just easier for him to not bring it up... he likes to fix things--and he can't fix this, or what happened--so it's just easier for him to ignore it all than to deal with it. For us... it's consuming! We can think of NOTHING else but holding our little baby in our arms! If not for this place and the freedom that comes with being able to freely express whatever you're feeling.... I truly don't think I would've made it thru those days. Don't let his annoyance get to you--you have EVERY right to feel the way you feel--all of us do--but especially those like you with late losses... I just couldn't even imagine your feeling of loss and sorrow! :comfort: Take care of you, hon!

:hello: and super big :hug: to chappas and Mannie-- You both must've posted while I was posting! Mannie, just looked up the Hashimoto's disease, and you're right.... it's different. Apparently you suffer from something similar to hypothyroidism, which makes you feel tired, sluggish, have trouble losing weight, etc. Mine was overactive--so it's the complete opposite--if I don't take my meds I get shaky, moody, increased appetite, weight loss, etc. So does yours cause a goiter in your neck, as well? Toccara, wishing you the best of luck with your recurrent m/c tests!! Thinking of you both!

Just sending a HUMONGOUS :hug: to Jen. Sorry you are feeling blue today. You are always there to lift our spirits, even though you are going through the same difficult journey. We luv ya, Jen :loveshower:

PS: and thanx to everyone for your kind thoughts this past day. I am doing OK. A new IVF cycle is on the horizon and every month is a new chance, right?

Aww, WTH.... You made me :crying: Thanks so much! I really try to always remain positive and upbeat... just not feeling it much today. I really needed that :hug: You have no idea how that just made my day! I appreciate you so much!! And you're right, each month is a new, fresh start! Thanks again! :hug:

oops - did not mean to make you :cry: In that case I hope they were happy tears knowing we are here for you, too. Your positivity is always so infectious. Let's make 2009 our big mama belly year ;)

They were definitely happy, grateful tears! Thanks again, love!

Jen - sorry you are feeling so grumpy and down. It is sooo frustrating isn't it and sometimes hard to stay hopeful. But hang in there lovely - I am sure your time is just around the corner :hug:

WTH: I feel for you sweetie. Same thing happened to me day before christmas - hcg was 21 but progesterone 96 so I was hopeful - but then sure enough AF showed up 5 days later - 5 days of hoping/stressing! It is so disappointing but all we can do is keep trying and keep our hopes and dreams alive. Good luck wih next IVF cycle - me having egg collection tomorrow so right in the thick of it all. Hopefully this is the cycle for both of us to get a BFP :pray:

Theresa: Wow a wedding in fiji sounds fabulous! In my experience men just handle things so differently from us and sometimes they say things that are really not helpful - my guess is your DH is suffering too and wishes he could make things better for you but doesn't know how. I know a lot of people say worrying/stressing is going to make it harder to get pregnant - well my obstetrician (bless him) said 'Don't worry about worrying' - he thinks it makes no difference what so ever. That really helped me as it is easy to blame oneself for stressing/obsessing. I think it is sooo natural that you are thinking about it all the time - you have not long ago lost your beautiful baby - so be kind to yourself and grieve/obsess/laugh/cry - whatever you need to do to keep going. My best friend lost her beautiful first baby daughter when she was 40 weeks pregnant - it has taken her many years to come to terms with that loss - fortunately she has gone on to have two beautiful healthy boys. I am sure you will also get to hold a beautiful healthy forever baby in your arms soon. :hug:

Firstbub :welcome: sorry for your loss and hopefully you won't have to stay in this thread very long

Hannah, Acria - thanks for your best wishes for my egg collection tomorrow - will keep you posted

AFM: just still nervous about egg collection. Praying for lots of healthy eggs that ferlilize and give me a BFP in a couple of weeks time. its all happening about 9 am tomorrow :pray: Besides that still wedding planning - have got heaps done - already have my dress, bridesmaids dress/shoes, celebrant, ceremony and reception booked, music for ceremony and reception, car, photographer. Going to look/taste wedding cakes on saturday - definately looking forward to that part :p

Jen - so sorry you're down today :hug: WTH is right, you're always there pepping all of us up, you're an absolute star. You deserve the very best, so take good care of yourself. This year will be a big mama belly year for us all! We've seen each other through this part of the journey, and we'll all see one another through the rest, pregnancy, babies and onward!

WTH: I'm sorry sweetpea...yet you are right (again!) Every cycle is a new chance, absolutely..and it sounds like a few of us atm are letting go of the last cycle's chance and getting ready to embrace the fresh chance. You're a star!

babymiracles: will be thinking of you at about 9 tomorrow. Sending all the positive vibes I can muster your way! :babydust:

Firstbub: I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. You're certainly among friends, this is the best bunch of women I've ever had the pleasure to be in contact with. Here's hoping we all shift along to the PAML forum very soon!

erbery - let us know how it goes, got you in my thoughts :kiss:

AJC: Kisses to yourself and Samuel!

AFM - taking it easy today, cruising along and feeling generally positive. Have two days off ahead of me, and going to just potter about the house and relax, can't wait!

Lisa xx

Thankyou for the welcome girls! Thought I would let you know my AF arrived this morning (as well as a huge pimple on my chin!). Trying to stay positive but it is hard to stay strong month after month.

Good luck to all of you on your TTC journey xx

ME 29
DH 28
DD Born 29 May, 2007
Angel baby 7 weeks Aug 08

Oh Jen - sounds like you need another hug. I'm a real fan of the B6, hard to know what to do though isn't it. I had a uterine polyp but Ob removed it during a hysteroscopy in Nov 07.

erybery - thanks for your experience with endo. Am not worrying myself about it but am just curious. Ob did say that sometimes pregnancy can make it flare up too & that it wasn't a huge amount. Anyway - I feel so blessed to have little Sam - if he is the only child we are every able to have then I will consider myself more than lucky.

Ruthie - big Hugs. You certainly have had quite a journey so far, I hope things change for you for the better soon.

WTH - sorry to hear about your chemical pg. As you say your new cycle is on the Horizon so the only direction to go is forward. Good luck.

Big Hugs to everyone else - some of you I haven't met but sending you all a big hug & best wishes.

Jen - some days life just gets you down and today is one of those days for you, so take some you time tonight and relax in a bath tub listen to your favourite songs, eat chocolate and know that you are loved and in a lovely safe home. I think we all don't take that moment to really be in the moment, if you know what I mean, we are so busy with our lives and what we are going to do tommororw and what we are missing out on that life just passes us by, believe me Im soooo guilty of doing this, so big hugs to you luvvie and know that the sun will shine tommorrow and all will be well once more. God wants us to be happy and he is preparing your special little person and only he knows when you will have him, but it will happen, you've just got to keep believing. My FS specialist said that to me, don't worry Mannie (smiling a very kind smile) it will happen, you will have the baby you soo desire, so try to relax and prepare for that day.

by the way no goiter....but everything else you mentioned I have.

WTH - So sorry hun :hug: Wish there was something more I could say.

Jen - Sorry you are feeling down today but I think we all need days to feel sad, frustrated, angry, cheated (I could go on!). You are always so positive and lifting everyone else's spirits, I'm glad you have taken time out for yourself.I hope having a cry made you feel better :hug:

firstbub - :hello: Nice to meet you, although I wish it could be on the PAML thread. Hopefully one day soon..Best of luck on your journey.

Theresa - My DH gets crabby sometimes and tells me not to talk about it all the time (he thinks we might jinx it!). He is the most wonderful, supportive husband but guys have a different way of dealing with things. I think they are much better at not obsessing about it!

AJC - I was debating on whether to have the lap op in Feb (was going to wait a little longer) but after reading your posts I want to have it as soon as possible. I may not have endo but I want some answers!

Lisa - Enjoy your days off, it is so nice just to potter around home sometimes. :)

babymiracles - Wishing you all the luck in the world for your egg collection. :crossfingers:

Mannie - So glad you have some answers. April is not that far away (although it probably feel like forever to you!) and hopefully you will fall pg straight away. :)

erybery - Best of luck with the Clomid!

Kezzabird - Yah for your scan! :happyforyou:

Hi to Hannah, Ruthie, toccara, smi, issy, indy, fifi, krystielove and anyone else I have missed.

AFM - Well, as I said I think my 'zen' is slowly slipping away. AF arrived today, at least she isn't late. I guess that is something. I haven't had any pain yet either which is strange for me, usually I have quite painful periods. I'm sure it will come! I am so angry and frustrated. I haven't been too upset as I knew it was coming but as I write this the tears are welling up. Damn it! It's not fair. I just don't know what we are doing wrong. I feel bad for feeling like this as I know there are a lot of couples who have been TTC a lot longer than us. I am just finding it very frustrating as we know we can fall pg but it has now been 14 months since the m/c and nothing has happened. Surely we haven't missed every single month???

I honestly thought if I stopped taking my temp and tried to not stress so much about it it would happen. It's impossible though, I am obsessed and I can't help it.

I read my stars for 2009 (not that I take them as gospel or anything) but the first line was about this year being the year to welcome new babies into your home. I so hope it is right. It also said I was going to have a family responsibility that was financially restricting and time consuming!

DH and a big talk last night (as I thought AF was coming) and have decided on the next course of action. Anyway back to the FS next Thursday and I am going to ask for the lap op to be arranged. Hopefully for Feb, it will have to be just after my period to make sure I am not pg. If endo is found then we will deal with that and keep TTC for a few more months. If nothing is found and everything seems all ok with the both of us then we are going to see if we can start IVF in April. We go away a few times in March so it wouldn't really work. Going to Melbourne in 3 weeks for a wedding so I guess that gives us something to look forward to (I was so hoping I would have a wonderful excuse as to why I couldn't drink).

Why is this journey so hard for us when we would all make wonderful parents???

Hi Ladies,

First I would like to say happy new year (late I know) and second would just like to apologise for not posting the last two weeks or maybe a bit more. I have been visiting my parents in QLD and they dont believe in keeping up with technology so I had no internet.

Jen Saying lots of :pray: and protesting like crazy :protest: :noaf: Sorry I cant help with the B6 maybe just take 1/2a tablet and see if that stops the spotting or maybe a acupuncturist may be able to give you some herbal medicine instead?

Mel79 Have you spoken to you dr about maybe taking some meds to bring on AF?

I had a lap and a hyster to see if we could find out why I had 2 m/c and I am so glad I had it done as they found a problem with my uterus which was corrected by surgery. If you chose to have it done I think you will get some answers. I will keep you in my :pray:

AJC Welcome back sweetie. And a huge congratson beautiful samuel :bfeedblue: Hope you had a wonderful christmas and new year.

firstbub Hi nice to met you. Sorry to hear that AF showed up I hope she takes it easy on you and they this month has some great news for you and dh.

WTH :comfort: Sorry to hear that AF showed up. I wish I could be there to comfort you however sorry but a cyber hug will have to do. I pray that you will get some wonderful news soon.

Well will have to go DH is calling sorry only just got home at 2am after a 12hr drive home from qld

AFM: Have my NT scan tomorrow. I am so nervous and worried that the baby has died and I didn't know it. I will let you know how it goe.s

Theresa - My DH gets frustrated with me during each TWW, telling me to try not to think about it too much (although he does do it very diplomatically). I think, in some ways, its harder on men because they're not really going through it, but are hearing about it. For us, even if we get out of our own head for a while, there is no getting out of our bodies, so there isn't much to do but try to read them and every symptom. But for our partners, its us putting it into their heads by talking things over with them. Am I making sense? I think what I'm trying to say is that its very difficult to silence an internal voice, but an external voice can be told. I hope you feel better soon. Sending you lots of :SAAF: vibes.

chappas = I hope AF stays away.

mannie - I'm so glad you finally have an answer. I hope the treatment works soon, but just because time is ticking doesn't mean there isn't plenty of it. And you're right, we could all do with taking time out for ourselves.

jen - I'm sorry you're feeling down. :hug: I hope AF stays away. :noaf:

WTH - You're absolutely right. Every month is a new chance. :goodluck: with the next IVF cycle.

babymiracles - Wow! I can't believe how much you've gotten ready for your wedding. You have been busy. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.

Lisa - Enjoy your time off!

firstbub - I'm sorry AF arrived. :hug:

Mel - Big, big :hug: hun. I'm sorry AF arrived. Again. Your stars do sound promising. I hope the lap gives you some answers. "Why is this journey so hard for us when we would all make wonderful parents???" I wonder what sort of parent I would be if I hadn't miscarried. Maybe its the journey itself, hard though it is, that will make us really, really wonderful parents.

tam - Hi stranger! Goodluck for the NT scan tomorrow. Be sure to tell us how it went. I'm sure all is as it should be.

:hello: to ruthie, tocarra, krystie, jenushka, fifi, mollycat, megsmum, easha, plc, issy, smi, indy, mo3b, adele, tutmae, princess, buliej, TY, HannahS, polly, erybery, possums and anyone I've missed.

AFM - Mel, looking up your stars for the year reminded me that I did a Tarot reading for 2009 the other night. I dabbled as a teenager, but haven't gotten my cards out in ages. I got the Empress and 2 page cards which, together, indicate pregnancy. The empress card showed up in August. Then I got the World card in September which is a card for happiness and lasting success (:crossfingers: Maybe there's a birth that month which would mean a BFP this cycle). Also, for February, I got the 4 of Swords which is a card for retreat and to think things over. DH and I have already planned to take some time off and go away for a few days together since my EDD is 22/2. Thats about all I can remember off the top of my head. It was fun if nothing else.

I've been really teary today. Have found it hard to concentrate at work and just felt like crying all the time. AF is easing - no more cramps or headaches, but I just feel so damn sad.

Jen - just wanted to pop in here and give you a big :hug:. Please remember to take some time for you, you spend so much of yourself on others, you forget yourself.

AJC - Don't worry too much about the endo. Yes, it can cause problems TTC but many have fallen pg with it. I have a friend who has severe endo and now has two little boys 14mths apart. Hugs for you and Sam. He's one cute little boy.

Tam - All the best with your scan for tomorrow.

WTH - Thinking of you :hug:

Ruthie - Just want to say I'm thinking of you and hoping and praying that everything will come out just fine for you.

Mel - I know exactly where you're coming from. I fell pg with no problems with DS1, with DS2 it took 3 years of TTC and ended up with 3 cycles of clomid. I then had 10 years before I fell pg again, which was my angel. It's now 14mths for me too, and no sign that another miracle may happen. Sadly, I don't have another 10 years in me to wait, which is one reason why I have stepped back to concentrate on myself and the problems that PCOS brings along with it and if a miracle happens on the way, then it was meant to be.

For everybody else - I pop in all the time to keep an eye on you all. Welcome to the newbies, I really wish you didn't have to join this thread, but the wonderful bunch of women here will support you every step of the way. I don't know what I would have done without them during the first twelve months after losing my bub.

I really hope that you will all get your sticky BFP's soon and you can all move over to the PAML thread, where many of my friends are.

:pink-babydust::bluedust::stickyvibesgirl::stickyvibesbo y:

Mel1979 - good for you wanting answers. I felt so much better after I did a heap of tests when I had the second m/c. I think that is what gave me confidence that I could carry my next pg to term (well didn't quite get there but still ended up with the same result ;)).

Tam - Good luck. I remember feeling exactly the same way and everything turned out fine. I cried my eyes out with relief when I could see the hb and a little person moving around. Now that little person is 3 weeks old - big hugs, it's scary but I'm sure everything is going to be fine.

Mollycat - yeah, I figure if we've just discovered it now (after a healthy bub) then hopefully all should be ok. Hoping your miracle happens soon.

Thanks everyone, once again you have all given me the strength to keep going. I know the emotional roller coaster we are all on will be worth it when we are holding our beautiful babies.

Mollycat - So nice to hear from you. I can't imagine what you must have been through to TTC for 10 years and then having your angel. My heart goes out to you and I hope having time away helps you to fall pg and have your 'miracle baby'. :hug:

HannahD - Wow, you do tarot card readings? I have to admit reading my stars got me excited and gave me hope so I am happy with that just for the moment. 6 years ago my mother in law read DH's stars and it said he would meet 'the one' in June and that is the exact month and year he met me! Hoping there is something in it. Your tarot reading sounds promising too! Coming up to your EDD is really hard so it is no wonder you feel so sad. I had mine back in July and it was incredibly hard leading up to the day and also for many weeks past it. Sending you a cyber hug :hug:. Wish there was something more I could do. Going away with your DH sounds like a really good idea.
So true what you said about the journey making us truly wonderful parents, maybe that is why we need to travel this long, hard road.

Tam - Good luck for your scan tomorrow! :stickyvibesgirl::stickyvibesboy:That 12 weeks went fast although you probably don't think so :) I don't have any problems with AF coming (I am pretty regular and average about a 30 day cycle). Thanks for the info about your lap, there may not be anything wrong but at least we will know for sure and it won't be in the back of my mind all the time.

DH is really worried about me having the lap (very sweet). I know I need to have it done for peace of mind if nothing else. He is concerned something will go wrong and it will damage something and make me infertile. We know of some friends and my sister where things went wrong (I won't go into it as I don't want to share awful stories on this thread) during operations in that area. I have had a lap before to have my gall bladder removed so I have explained to him that it is not an evasive procedure and it is only day surgery. Anyway hopefully the FS can make him feel a little better.

Thanks again, not sure what I would without all you wonderful ladies to talk to. I am feeling a little more positive and ready to begin a new month :D

Thanks AJC. I have to say the tests I have had done so far will (I think & hope) make me far less anxious when I do get that BFP!

I am so happy you have your gorgeous little boy. Whenever I start to feel like giving up (not that I ever would or could) I just think of the inspirational ladies on this thread who kept going and have had their precious miracle baby. It keeps me going :)