Trying to Conceive After Miscarriage or Loss Jan 2010

I must have been typing when you posted ScaryPinkFairy, So so so sorry to hear that the darn witch turned up honey, I hope you are ok X
I truly hope that you don't have to put things on hold XXX:pray:

Hi ladies!

Sorry i have not been on for a little while. You all thought i'd left you, didn't you? LOL. Just been seeing family off after the hectic christmas period, and catching up on unpacking from moving before they got here! I haven't had time to scratch myself! haha.

Charliemarina - welcome babe. the struggle with losing a baby that you so dearly want is something that just can't be explained to other people is it? I'm sorry for the most recent loss. A good thing about this forum is that all the women here understand what you're going through, and the struggle in ttc. Feel free to open up to us at any time, no matter what it is.. even if you feel its too much information. We share everything and I really think it helps to have that safe space in here. Good luck in your next month of ttc. I hope it works out well!

SPF - stupid AF! how dare she show up and ruin your plans to create a mini-you! Well at least you're on a new cycle now... save your energy this week girl - cos you're gonna need it for all of that BDing very soon!! hehe.

Ferrals - Abbi's poem is just gorgeous. I hope it's helped you to release some of the pain. Thank you so much for sharing it with us!

Sparkles - sorry to hear that you've been having a bit of a struggle too. Vent away! We're always here to listen! big hugs babe! xx

gosh there's so many posts to get through since i've been on last....

Emmy - hopefully you just tested too early??? I hope so????

Murraycod - pear juice is also very good for constipation. I can't drink it cos like T-hopes i have IBS and its just one of those things that gets things going 'too fast' for me. But my mother and grandmother also swear by it so its gotta be good? I also get glycerol suppositories. When its been a few days and I haven't been able to sort things out I use one of those to get the ball rolling. Best thing ever.

wow - i'm soo sorry ladies that i have to cut it short here... i have DD who may have wet the bed (she's woken up upset)..

to all the ladies i've missed - i haven't forgot you! I hope your journeys are taking a positive step! If you're BDing, go hard and have fun!! If you're in the tww - good luck, and try a new hobby to keep away from those hpt's. And if AF has just arrived, get ready for a great month!!

xx

Sparkles - I know how you feel, KT's due date was just before Christmas. I was at work having to pretend everything was ok - and I blew a tyre on the car - man I was a mess. And now I get to look forward to Peanuts' in May. Take some quiet time to say goodbye - whatever is right for you.
Ferrals - OMG - words can not describe how much Abbi's poem moved me.
Charliemarina - welcome to your journey buddies. I'm so sorry that you've had to experience what you've been through. But know that there are people here to give you all the emotional support you can handle.
SPF - sorry that the witch has come to you - I think she got lost on the way to my house! But a new cycle, a new chance to create a little bundle.
Ciara - had to get up at 3am last night. Our little pup wet his bed and then cried until I got up. Would have made sense for him to cry first - then I could have let him out! It's not just the little persons who do these things.
AFM - I'm still cramping. Been cramping for a month or so now. Which is odd, cause I don't normally cramp, so I'm starting to worry something is wrong considering my hcg drop is slowing...

Cookie - i know you've been getting tested and keeping on top of things medically, but can you find a different doctor or something?? I just feel like something's not being done right.. does that make any sense? I mean, cramping isn't really a good sign and with the hcg levels playing up... is it possible that you still have some 'tissue' left inside somewhere causing these hormones or something like that?? I hope things are ok.

And yes, you're right.. it isn't just little people that wet the bed. haha, too cute about the puppy. I agree with you, wish they'd cry first! But DD doesn't do it unless she's scared, too tired (like she fell asleep on the couch and i couldn't wake her), or if she has a uti. This time she was exhausted from an afternoon full of tickle wars and wrestling with myself and my DP. lol, we had a ball.

Well I am still in my tww, and of course I caved just like Emmy and tested early. Yep, bfn. There was a slight pink line there.. but I'm saying bfn cos it was ever so slight that it could have just been a shadow of a line. I'm sure if it's a bfp i'll get it in a few days when i test again. I haven't really got any symptoms anyway, other than the ultra sore boobs which i've had for over a week now.

Ciara - I like the ob I have (and it's hard to find med staff you like out here!). I had a u/s done at the beginning of Dec, which showed I was all clean. I keep forgetting to mention the cramping when I speak to my ob's office (partly cause it always conveniently stops a day or two prior!). I imagine that if next weeks test doesn't show a marked improvement I'll be asking some more detailed questions. But right now, I'm sick of being stuck and prodded and poked. The u/s (internal) went on for about 30 minutes! And I now have a nice big bruise on my arm.
I wouldn't think to much of getting no symptoms. Some people never get any. I didn't have any before kt. And I had symptoms before Peanut. go figure. But I've got my fingers crossed that the "shadow" is the start of something good!

cookie - i completely understand about finding the right med staff. if you like who you see, stick with them. I hope this 'issue' is sorted out really soon. Its so frustrating isnt it? And thanks, i hope it turns out to be something more than a shadow too. only time will tell. but i'm not being overly hopeful just in case. I will let you know once i do another test in a few days time.

Thanks girls... Yeah it makes me frustrated that they would wait on the day i was suppose to go to tell me that got to cancel now gotta wait another 3 weeks to get in.. :wall:

I wish we could check our own levels..LOL so we can know if they dropped any more..

50 day cycle?? Oh my i will deff me hitting the :wall: i just hope mine starts sooner. its going on the 9th and No AF yet.. plus like you said it could take awhile its only been 10 days since lil :angel:was taken.. :shakehead:

Sorry for the ones for AF coming.. Damn her..

Best of luck to all..

Be back on later Hugs to all!

Just popping in to wish you all BFP very soon!!
:pink-babydust: :bluedust: :stickyvibesboy: :stickyvibesgirl:
xx
Tanya

afternoon everyone ,murraycod-has your pain subsided at all?..charliemarina-sorry for your losses.You are not alone,you have found us and were all in this together.Hope your ttc journey is short...ferrals-poem is a lovely tribute to your bubba girl....tanya-thanks,hope things are well with you...sparkles-hope you were able to get some sleep last night...scarypinkfairy-sorry af turned up...ciara-fingers crossed for you..cookie-it's hard to remember everything we want to ask the doc sometimes,hope it get sorted out soon...to all who have edd coming up-hugs,many women sadly know the tears & thoughts of that day but we got through it & so will you.I found it helped me to do something in memory of my bub,you'll know what feels right for you.

MurrayCod -I am so so excited for you. Good advice - drink plenty of fluids, it will ease the soreness & its good as well

Emmy - sorry, you got 3 BFN

With me - Today AF is due, so sign - no symtom....i am recultant to test, so i am just waiting to witch af to knock my dooor

Anita - my longest cycles were 38 days long...aahhh and that sucks...i hope you get it soon. I usually drink hot coffee to get AF (if it is late - it usually works, but after my m/c, it on af's mood to come on time or not)

well, i am going out to friends.

will do the detail msging once tomorrow...
tc all xx xxx

and thanks Tanyaa for babydust

Hi ladies.

ric - heres hoping that AF stays away!

I'm pretty certain im not pregnant. not going to bother testing again.. just wait til next week.. Monday AF is due. I'm pretty sure she'll be here with bells on.

I'm having a down day today. DP has decided that this ttc stuff is too much. he doesn't wanna do it for awhile. I understand where he's coming from, i'm consumed with it all.. it's all i think about and i'm a poas addict (which is starting to become an expensive habit!) .. But i'm so upset by his decision. I have to respect it... but i don't like it at all. In fact, i'm heartbroken. Basically, if it doesn't happen for me this time, it's not going to happen for awhile...and i don't think it's happened this time. I've had numerous psychics tell me that I will have my next baby in my arms by the end of 2010... but i'm thinking that they're all wrong.
My EDD is just around the corner for my ectopic (8th Feb)... all of my friends who fell pregnant at the same time are having their countdowns to the birth... all trying madly to bring on labour (they were a few weeks ahead of me)... and i'm just feeling really down about it. Didn't think it would affect me so badly.
Sorry to put a downer on things ladies.. i truly thought i was beyond sulking about all of this stuff.. but i guess i'm not :(
DP doesn't even want to take a break from ttc and just enjoy love making... he wants to start using protection again so that there's just no possibility. I so desperately want my next baby. Its been such a tease for me to have my 3 babies this year, but to lose all 3 of them. I just see all of my friends who have just had babies and they get their intimate cuddles and that feeling of overwhelming emotions that you get with a new baby... and i want that so much. I feel like it's been stolen from me and now DP's trying to steal it all over again.

sorry for the ranting.
Hope youre all having better days!!

ciara.e af isn't here yet so wait till then to make any decisions. and you are really not putting a downer on things. we all have our up days and our down days, and with your edd coming up and people you know on the countdown you are more than entitled to feel like this. i still find myself welling up when people even mention babies. i have just stopped talking to everyone at work most of the time as i am just too emotional and don't even have the energy to make small talk or even be pleasant sometimes. i am not attending mt friends engagement party tonight as there will be pg ladies there. i'm not really coping well at all. and like you, if i don't get pg this time around i have to put it on hold and i really don't want to. just stay positive, you just might get your bfp!

ric good luck, hope you don't get af

Tanya thanks i need some of that. how's things going with you?

TTCALoveChild 3 weeks will fly by :)

Cookie36 are you getting this cramping all the time, or only during certain times of your cycle? i had cramps for the most part of last month which i don't normally get. and that was my first proper cycle since d&c.

afm... well i got a little kitten today :) she's so cute.

TTCALC - I'm glad we can't check our own levels - I'd be checking every freaking 5 minutes!! After I lost KT (natural m/c), I found the bleeding from the m/c effectively became day 1 of my cycle, and about 35 days after that AF rocked up (up on I 35 day cycle).
ric - hope AF has flown away for 9 months!
Ciara - I understand why you are down - I remember dh suggesting we should think about taking a break and how much it upset me. Maybe you need to discuss his exact concerns so that the 2 of you can see if there is a medium. :hug:
spf - I don't normally get cramping, and considering I can estimate where I am in my cycle until AF shows - I can't tell - but I know the cramping started before Christmas...? Stay strong, I know how hard it can be to "function normally". :hug:

Ciara things will be ok :hug:
Men really do deal with things in their own weird sort of way, a way that makes no sense, and can seem so unfair and black and white. And it seems to me that your DP is thinking black and white ATM.
Just let him go.
As much as you want to scream and have a fit at him, just go easy and support his decision for the moment. Sometimes our men can test us, even if they don't admit it. He was supportive of you when you lost your angels, no matter how irrational you may have been, he was there, so now, girl, as hard as it is, you have to do the same for him.
In his own weird way of thinking, he could be doing this, to get you guys back on track, to fall in love again and be together with no strings attatched. Mabey he just needs the attention for a while...I know that sound weird, but boys are a breed of their own, and we do love them for it!:wall:

Beleive me, as hard as it gets sweetheart, put a smile on that face of yours, go and buy the weirdest coolest condoms you can find, and just go with the flow, I give him a fortnight tops he will change his mind!XXX

Sorry for no other persies X Hope everyone is well X

hi again

cookie - thanks for the advice. I have tried talking to him, but i just don't know what to say. I really hope that your cycle sorts itself out. I mean, enough is enough.

SPF - I'm really sorry that you're going through this hard emotional time also. I guess it's just too easy for depression to sink in, hey? I feel like i should be happy with the one i have, and take advantage of all the special one-on-one time we have. Which I do. But there's still that urge to make DD a playmate... some tiny hands and feet for me to cooo over. Nothing beats the innocent pure love that babies have for their mums... to them, mum is their entire universe, their God. I just want to be someone's universe again :(

I'm glad you got your kitten today spf! A little fur baby to smother with your love. I just hope you get your own little one to smother with affection, really soon. xx

afm - well i thought i'd test this morning on fmu, and bfn. AF should arrive tomorrow. I guess instead of putting my energy into my ttc journey, i'll have to shift it back to my weight loss journey! I put on 6kgs with the last pregnany plus christmas combined. And that's massive for me! I lost over 60kgs a few years back and i've kept it off..so even a rise in 2kgs is something i like to sort out straight away. how i let it get to 6kgs is beyond me! I've been hitting the gym pretty hard again this week, and analysing my diet (studied cert 3 and 4 in fitness and PT which involves nutritional analysis). Thing is, I have been doing so well thati should be seeing a marked improvement and i'm not. your body does strange things though. depression releases a chemical into your system that actually stores fat, even if you're starving yourself or working out a lot. so despite your best efforts, if you're severely depressed, you can be stuck with the weight issues. I'm trying to pull myself out of that so i can drop the kgs! Normally my body fluctuates so much that I can lose 3 or 4kgs per week (pretty good considering i'm only a size 10). I might have lost a little bit of fat (only a teeny amount if any), but i'm building up some pretty good muscles again from cycling so the scales are still saying 'FAT' lol.

Aah, theres me raving on as per usual.

Hope everyone's having a good day. And i really hope to see some bfp's in here soon!

Murraycod - sorry i was typing when you posted.

Thanks so much for your post. you're totally right there. every word that you said makes sense. I'm so glad to have you in here!! *hugs*

You're right, he WAS there for me and so supportive when i had the losses, and the ectopic was super hard for him cos he couldn't do anything. two weeks i can live with LOL, then it'll be O time haha. Nah, you're right though. I probably should give it a break for his sake. I wish guys communicated their feelings more rather than just holding them in and making us guess!!! lol. DP is a really quiet person, he never talks about his stressors, fears etc until he's had a long time to think about it all.

Thanks again hun. You're a gem

Thanks ladies...
Yeah im thinking AF isnt coming like i thought it would.. Its already the 9th and no AF..
I hoping everything comes by end of the month so we can get on track for next month..

I keep thinking AF is coming since im feeling crappy with some cramps today, i drink Coffee so ill keep doing that..Thanks ;) If i got to wait another 35 days for AF to come then i'll have to i realized there isnt much i can do..

I told DF we can still :dance: and then hopefully i can get some questions answered on Jan 26 with the Gyn/Ob..

Cookie36- yeah that would be me to checking every 5 mins so i guess that wouldnt be a good idea we would be all black and blue ;)

Good luck to all and Sorry to the AF's coming to ya..
:pray:ing for us all!

Just a quickie

Wanted to send you all the best goodluck and babydust I can to Murraycod for the next part of your journey here you go girl its about egg picking time for you so lets hope they get a basket full ! keep us informed can't wait for the updates, hope the pains not too bad for you it will be worth it in the end !

Ferrals your poem was so lovely made me cry ! hope AF is on her way out and enjoy your hols you sound like me I always take my kids everywhere ! we just been having a few day trips to the beach as we live south of Perth went 200 kms drive south yesterday to a place called Peppermint Grove and had cooked breakfast by the beach full english of course we then played in the sea for hours and hours before taking a slow ride back a really good way to get through the TWW only 5 days left for me !

SPfairy so glad you got your kitten I knew you would get your own way ! have fun chasing her up your curtains ! It happens to all of us this loss thing is so hard at times I am going to be stuggling soon as my sister is due in 2 wksa as well as my SIL and my EDD is my daughters 15th birthday in March so I just know how you feel seeing pg women is really hard for me too ATM when was your EDD ?

t hopes how you doing !

Cookie sorry your hcg levels are still high that really is not good for you when you want to TTC again !

Anyone else I missed sorry just had 3 pages to catch up on that will teach me for taking day trips and not catching up in the evenings !

AFM well 5 days till testing and know idea which way it will go !:lol: