Kyra - I went to the Target Sales at midnight when they began and it was madness. I hadn't thought it would be so busy because the rain was pouring down but it didn't seem to stop anyone. We wanted to layby a cubby house for DD and I wasn't sure how popular they would be so I made sure I was there when the doors opened. As it was, most people were interested with the small stuff so I was able to walk straight up to layby and be served immediately. The teenage boy was dressed as Harry Potter and looked so sweet. I walked back through the baby stuff and thought about putting something away in case there might be another baby but I felt a bit sad to. Truth is, if I don't fall pregnant in the next couple of months we will have to call it a day. I thought if that were the case and I did layby something for Christmas for the baby then it might just make me sadder when it was time to pick the layby up. The baby I just lost was due Christmas Day.

Anila - I find that family feel they can be a bit more brutal with you than most others. From them I get, "Well at least you have your daughter" and I think, yes well she's one of the main reasons I want another one. She is always so desperate for other kids to play with. They mean well though. Mostly with them I try to pretend that it doesn't matter as much to me as it actually does.