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Far out how can anyone handle working around kids after a mc???? My hat is off to anyone here who has done that...
Today just to top it all of I've had a 4 month old come in, a woman who is due in 3 weeks (who I coudlnt' wait to have a baby around the same time with in Oct (the first one that I mc) and I almost cant' stand to look at her :crying: AND the 'accidently pregnat JUNKIE" girl is coming in too.... arrrrgh :angry: :wall: I will want to kick her in the head!!!!
My scan is at 1:30
cherished, your strength is astounding. To think you have managed to work like this for so long already. My hat is off to you and I'm incredibly proud of you. I know you can do it, take it moment by moment and allow yourself to explore the feelings you have. :hug:
awww honey I hear you loud and clear!!!
I would stay away from the constant accidental pregnancy lady when she comes in, are you going to say something to her if she whinges again? I honestly would not be able to keep my trap shut.
Im hoping everything is ok, and I hope to god your day goes better xxx
Cherished i will be thinking of u at 1.30.
I wont be online then, but i wish u all the best and as soon as i get home ill be checking in to see how u are going.
afm, i think af is on its way.
I have been off this site for a long time coping with my loss last year and I have been lurking - usually crying or laughing along with everyone but too fragile to write. After reading your post Cherished I caved.
Cherished - I am so very sorry and I am sending you love and strength at 1.30 - I understand wanting to know everything you can and trying to make sense of it all.
I hope you have wonderful, loving people around you.
Delly
Cherished1- I'm sorry you have to be at work is it not possible to take some time off or are you just trying to keep your mind busy? Thinking of you, I know what you are going through is all too familiar for all of us. Good luck with the scan:pray:.
Anila- I'm with you, a/f definitely on the way, temp dropped this morning. Now all I can hope is that I ovulate next cycle or it could be months before I can try again.
dellydoo, sorry for your loss. I hope you feel confident that you can share in here the feelings you've been experiencing surrounding your loss and your TTC. :hug:
Thanks so much smallfry - it's all about confidence isn't it - I got so scared that I would start reading/writing and I would lose all the ground I had covered and that I wouldn't be able to regain any control over my emotions. I think I had to really learn that I would never get over losing Charles and that I would have to learn to live with it before I could start. thanks again
Delly
Delly - definitely a confidence thing! Sounds like you have come a long way which is great :) Remember, you don't have to let go of Charles, he'll always be with you in your heart.
AFM - still no AF and no apparent symptoms of its arrival either. Have decided that I'm not going to test again unless AF has still not arrived by the weekend. I'm at peace with this decision which surprises me. Last night big discussion with DH about TTC which was good. As so many of you have said, your DH figures there's nothing he can do once he's deposited and with my DH, he tries not to get his hopes up since our last loss but feels concerned that he may be the problem and that his little wrigglers aren't up to task. I'm worried that I did in fact ovulate on CD26 this month even though I don't think that's accurate. IF it is I have at least another month ahead TTC.
How are our TWW girls going? Sunbeam, Anila, sorry to hear AF is headed. Coco how are you going? Who else is on TWW at the moment?
Cherished - will be :pray: for you at 1:30 today.
seems I managed a double post... won't bore you with the same thing twice and will post a joke to make a giggle happen instead as I don't know how to remove the double post...
Little Susie goes home from school and tells her mum that the boys keep
asking her to do cartwheels because she's very good at them .
Mum said . "You should say "NO" - they only want to look at your knickers"
Susie said "I know they do, that's why I hide them in my bag"!! :)
Just popping in before work.
Cherished-it's just dam awlful working around pregnant people with everything that is going on with all of us i just want to wish you luck with your u/s and hope you are ok.
Smallfry-LOL i like the joke.
dellydoo-sorry to hear about charles nothing anyone say's can help i know how you feel i lost my daughter at 19 weeks 5 day's and i dont know how i get out of bed every day and go on but i'm glad you are here in this thread with us and i hope our journeys to our BFP are short .
To our tww girls my fingers are crossed for you i am now in the tww even though i think we missed the egg you never no.
well i'm off to work i finnish at midnight and have to be at the RNS at 10 tomorrow for the geneticist appt i'm am absolutely terrified i will let you know my results tomorrow night WISH ME LUCK
Good Afternoon everyone,
Cherished - My thoughts are with you today. I pray that you get some positive news.
:welcome: to Janie & Dellydoo. I wish you both mountains of Babydust and hope you both get BFPs very soon.
Anila - Thank you for writing about collecting your baby from the toilet. I did the same thing but havent wanted to tell anyone as i thought people would think it was yucky. I couldnt just flush it away when i knew it was there. Thank you for being so honest.
Smallfryplus - Have you passed the day A/F was due?? Any more symptoms??
Sunbeam & Anila - Sorry to hear that you feel A/F is on her way. I like to think that every month that it doesnt happen just moves you closer to the month that it will.
AFM - FF says im 12 dpo. My bbt jumped from 36.8 to 37.2 this morning which is very high for me. Never been over 36.9 since i started charting. Not going to test until i miss A/F if i do. Only possible symptom is unfortunatley constipation :o and thats not very exciting.
Cherished, again wishing you all the best of luck for 1:30. I hope you can go home after and dont have to go back to work.
oh dellydoo I feel very special for you to decide to post after reading mine... I am very sorry for your loss of little Charles James, and at 19 weeks I just can't imagine how painful that was and still is. You really are amongst friends here so please stay with us :hug:
Sunbeam I worked from 7-11:30 and I am having the day off now, and I will only be working for 3 hours tomorrow morning too... I have not cried today, I feel numb, it will hit me later or tomorrow or something... I already cried for 3 days straight when the bleeding started.... It's heaps heavier today... I will honestly be completely astounded if it is a positive scan, especially with what I saw yesterday and a temp of 36.7 today... We don't really have any hope but I guess we do need to know for sure and this will be closure
Anila I'm happy to see your beautiful face in this thread and thank you for your thoughts honey
Smallfryplus a joke, just what I needed :lol:
dh and I are off to the movies after the scan but will be home for a bit first so I'll post with the result.... I think I will be going out for dinner afterwards and having a bottle of red wine!
ADDITION after posting... Maddison you snuck in there while I was typing.... thanks lovely... to both you and Anila I am so happy you have told your story of looking at your bub... I obviously had a very close look at what I believe was the embryo... It's nothing to be ashamed about at all :grouphug: I needed answers straight way and needed to know what I was looking at
hi dellydoo, im so very sorry for ur loss, the ladies here as you can see are all very wonderful and i have said it before they are a great comfort and support.
Sunbeam, i hope af isnt on the way, but if it is for both of us then we can do the tww again next month and get our bfps!
I know it doesnt sound like the most pleasent thing to do, but i just couldnt flush my baby away with out saying goodbye, i never got to hold my first angel baby, i was 11 weeks, and i was on a coach comming back from what should have been a relaxing time away, i had to pass my baby in the coach toilet, flush it away like it was trash then walk back to my seat like nothing had happened, i remember getting off the bus, and my mum looked at me and said u are so white is everything ok, i just broke down.:
Anila - Thank you for writing about collecting your baby from the toilet. I did the same thing but havent wanted to tell anyone as i thought people would think it was yucky. I couldnt just flush it away when i knew it was there. Thank you for being so honest.
This time i had to hold it, iykwim, i know it wasnt a fully formed baby, and hubby was standing next to me saying no, but i just had too. It help me deal with it a little better.
Cherished, i know i keep saying it, but i am thinking positive thoughts for u.
Just quickly... heading out to the movies.
There was nothing there at the scan....
Cherished im very sorry for you and your partner. I wish there was something more i could say. :comfort:
:hug: cherished, wish it wasn't so. I hope you're watching a happy movie.
I am so very very sorry Cherished1. My thoughts and prayers and support are with you and your partner... Fly safely little one... :hug:
oh cherished hun, i am so very sorry for your loss.
I know nothing that we say atm will take away your pain, but just know that we are all here for you when you are ready.
Once again, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your partner, and little Tiger5.
Cherished-I am so very sorry to hear that. I hope the movie manages to take your mind off it for even a little while. My thoughts are with you and as Anila said we are all here for you. Prayers for your special angel :pray:
Cherished - Darling I am so sorry - I am lighting a candle tonight for you
Anila - I completely understand - I consider myself blessed that I was able to hold my son and we are allowed do whatever we need to do to say goodbye.
Ferrals - I wept when I saw you lost your little girl so late - I know what you mean sometimes I look at the world and wonder how people are carrying on when I feel like this? Oh - GOOD LUCK!
Maddison - constipation - not exciting??? You must be doing it wrong ;)
Smallfry - I needed that joke too! Thanks honey good on you for holding off!
All the best to us all
Delly
Cherished: I posted in the other thread, but so sorry for your loss honey xx Hope you can zone out today and recover a little x
Just thought you should all know that MsObsess is in the house....she pushed her way in the door and made me do 2 POAS today...
Bugga..
maddison - sorry, I missed your question somehow, yeah, past AF due date, that was Sunday morning (yeah, very specific, it always arrives first thing in the morning!). Symptoms are still pretty much the same, bloaty, heartburn no matter what or how little/much I eat, tender breasts, tired, irritable, sigh. No real nausea anymore and not really feeling that I am pg but confused as to why I'm so uncharacteristically late with AF. How many days til you miss AF? It is sounding good for you with temp jump in particular :)
Hi Smallfryplus,
That is good that you are still having symptoms. Hopefully you will get that BFP in the next few days. I am 12dpo so a/f is expected on Friday. I want to wait til then to test but im feeling that i wont be able to wait that long now. If temp is still up tomorrow i might test in the morning. If it drops i wont bother.
Hoping one of us will get it this month!!!
:sick: did I REALLY say that the nausea was gone??!?! far out... have had it hit me real bad over the last half hour to an hour. I strongly suspect that it's because I have a migraine coming on and not because I'm pg. The migraine will, of course, also be related to the onset or soon arrival of AF so... yeah... I so don't want to let go of the possibility of a bfp this month but the more time passes the more likely I think it will be an N instead of a P after my BF this month :(
:hug: Cherrished no words can say how sad I am. Be safe and look after yourself my :pray: are with you :comfort:
Hello girls :hello:
I am very teary today. I keep thinking about what cherished is going through and what we've all been through, it is all so unfair.
Maddison and Anila, thank you so much for talking about holding your babies. If I had been at home I would definitely have done the same but I was in hospital in the emergency department and to be honest I'm not sure it occurred to me that it was my baby in the toilet until after I'd flushed as it just looked like more blood. Over a year ago now and it still feels like yesterday, I still hate to think thats where my precious baby ended up.
Dellydoo- I'm glad you have joined us though I'm sorry you need to be here. I hope you feel as much support as I have from these wonderful women.
Janie-any news? You must be day 14-15dpo :crossfingers:
Maddison-good sign that your temp still going up:crossfingers::bluedust:
coco and smallfryplus fingers crossed for bfps'.
ferrals4- Very good luck I hope tomorrows genetics appointment brings the best possible news, thinking of you.
ferrals - go well tomorrow. Have been thinking about it all day today. My prayers will be with you tomorrow at 10am for the RNS (I spent a month there when I was 16... I found the nurses and doctors there to be very friendly and lovely).
sunbeam - missed your post, you're so right, it is incredibly unfair to see another tragedy take place. :hug:
:grouphug: for all, cherished, we feel your pain and I hope that by being able to share it here, it helps to reduce some of it.
ferals: good luck for tmo hon, will be thinking of you and waiting to hear from you!!!
Cherished: hope you feel better tmo :hug:
Sunbeam: I was teary too...the whole TTC thing sometimes seems like a lost cause doesnt it??
I am so glad to hear others have held their babies after passing them, even if its gross/weird...I did it, I cried and said goodbye. I was having lunch with my mother in law before the scan... :( was awful!
I am expecting a temp drop tmo if my cycle is a :bfn: and then spotting late tmo afternoon..or just tmo sometime...if not then, then on thursday :( I am going to test tmo morning with FMU. Im sure that a bfp would come up with the first response or discover one step by this stage wouldnt it???
Hope everyone is having a good sleep. Im going to snuggle up with DH and bring on tmo morning for temping
love love love xxxxx
thanks girls.....
I got very drunk last night... THANK GOD! I have a dr's app today to get another HCG test but it is pointless as the scan showed no signs of pregnancy.... Is it worth having so that I can compare them for my next pregnancy? I kinda think that each pg is different and why bother iykwim? I had a HCG test on Monday (the day I actually miscarried) and if the scan had of been ok the one today would have showed me in the HCG was going up or down.... obviously it is going down! What do you all reckon?
I am off to work now for 3 hours than I have the day off with dh again....
Cherished - I totally get you getting drunk last night - sometimes we need to just get loose. It might be worthwhile to have the test - I had a chemical pregnancy and even though I had started to bleed I had to have a second BT to compare - it's to make sure the HCG is dropping correctly.
Coco - I hope you get a BFP - sometime the HPTs don't get it right first time
Smallfry - Fingers crossed nausea is a good sign!
Sunbeam - I know what you mean - it just doesn't make sense
Best of luck to us all
Delly
Cherished, i did the same thing too, had a few drinks, i was advised to have a bt to see if the hcg levels were dropping, but i didnt see the point, i didnt want to have to wait around at the drs, to hear what the scan had told me, so i just poas a few days later and it was bfn, but it depends on you and what ur dr recomends, the day before i mc my bt was 73 at 6 weeks 1 day, so we knew it was going to happen, didnt want to accept it though.
If u need the results to compare or to say good bye well, u should do it.
buts its totally up to u hunni.
afm, cd37, no af, no more spotting, no positive test!
cherished - I agree, it's very much up to you if you feel the bt is needed. As you say, the scan already confirmed.
Anila - sorry no outcome... frustrating isn't it?
AFM - temp went up today to highest yet this month, I guess that's a good sign. Still no AF. Still waiting for the weekend to test again.
Ferrals - you'll be at the specialist appointment now. Hope it's going well.
Sunbeam, coco, maddison, how're you all going?
Janie, everything ok? Haven't seen you in a bit. Hope you're good.
Hi tinar, dellydoo, km1 (has the bleeding completely stopped yet?), zacsmum (how did the naturopath go?), milly, juleswa... :grouphug:
As predicted im spotting...and im out again..so feeling like TTC is a lost cause..
:rolleyes:
Sorry to have been so MIA recently. Lots of thoughts and emotions with this TTC shiz!
Coco: Hugs hun for damn RB!
smallfryplus: when did u last test. i think uv caught that eggie perhaps?????
Ferrals4: Good luck with the appt.
Cherished: Did the sun rise?? Good on you my love. xoxo
AFM: BFN on FMU today. Startign to feel like RB is on the way. Just blinkin' great! Just want (like everyone else) to see those two red lines....:rolleyes:
Peace out guys! :D
awe coco hunni, we can just sit in the corner together and have a cry.
Hi Coco,
TTc after loss takes all the fun out of trying. Have you seen a gynacologist about what might be happenning? I remember you saying awhile ago that you were having a blood test to see if you are ovulating? Seeing a gyno was the best thing I ever did. I felt better just knowing that I was "doing something". Maybe they would put you on fertility drugs like I was? or at least be able to give you some answers about why your having a hard time. I'm thinking of you Coco. Let me know if you want any more info about tests and stuff that specialists can do! Big hugs
Anila: do you chart? Would you mind if we saw it? I cant belive you're still going without answers...Im starting to think it was implantation bleeding you had hunni!
coco - sorry you're spotting hon... no possibility that it's implant? Temp dips with that too doesn't it? anila is our rebel without a chart! hehehe I've been dying to see hers too because I'm becoming obsessed with the whole thing.
sunny - good to see you back here after so long! (or is it just so many pages and not really that long at all?!!) I last tested on Monday morning. FF was telling me I ovulated cd26 which is bollocks so I have revised the O date on my chart to where I feel it happened. Now I'm being told that even though I have a 28 day cycle, AF isn't due til this weekend?!! hahaha so I'll either test this weekend or probably next Tuesday before my last exam... though perhaps that's not the best option as either way, I will be too distracted to think about the exam!!
coco - yes, I've looked at your chart and recant... you're probably right :(
there was no need to get another blood test anyway my HCG at 6w 2 days was 650... at 4 weeks 3 days it was 840 so it had dropped heaps already... Didn't need to get it done to compare with anything anyway.
I am so depressed Sunny.... The sun did rise but it's still a crap day :crying: we got a referral to get dh's swimmers tested other than that I would need to see a specialist for any other tests :( I also got a referral to get another ultrasound done after the next af just to make sure it's all back to normal.
Sorry for no persies I am just not up to it.... All I can think about is that I am depressed and everything is so unfair!!!! :crying:
I don't even want to try again... after the March mc all I wanted was to be pregnant again now I just want to curl up and never move again..... I feel like I mustn't deserve to have a baby so I may aswell not want one....