Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage/Loss - June 2009

hey ferrals, it's starting to kill me too! lol My temp is up and fairly steady (drop yesterday but I waited too long to take it so that's understandable) and the nausea has genuinely hit in so either I have mild food poisoning or... I kinda want to test but want to wait as long as possible to get an accurate as possible result cos I couldn't take the bfn! I hope you are UTD cos that will mean they try and push your tests through quicker and you will have results that much quicker as well. I reckon you've had the 1 in 4 with Abbi and now it's time for one of the other 3 to be with you. :hug:

Anila, haven't seen you in a couple days, hope everything is ok with you. How was your little girl's birthday? did she get a party?

cherished - hope you're doing well hun :hug: stay strong, we're here for you.

Good morning to all :) I'm off to do an exam shortly... my first uni exam ever and I'm convinced I'll fail it! hahaha

:D Oh Sunny I hope that is a :bfp: !!!!!

Ferrals - I am so so sorry and I pray your CVS will bring you great news and 75% is strong odds of success honey.
SmallFry - I am getting so hopeful it is good news for you! I had little cramps to in my side when I fell pg with Charles so I am keeping everything crossed
Sunny - Darling hang in there it could be great news. I had an really faint line and it turned out to be a chemical pregnancy but I was in with a chance until then. Sending lots of hope your way.
Cherished - I am thinking of you honey.

AFM - in TWW and keeping my head down...supposed to be studying and avoiding it masterfully.
Much love to all
Delly

Oh my gosh I'm so excited I can't wait to see all those :bfp: flashing.

Truck loads of :pink-babydust: and :stickyvibesgirl: to all those testing in the next few days.

BFN this morning using a First Response Early detection test. Sooo disappointing. Thanx everyone for all your positive thoughts! Means a lot! xoxox

Janie, with all of the spotting you are having I would be getting onto some clomid or progesterone support. Spotting prior to your period is usually due to low progesterone. As you know we need a nice solid level of progesterone to maintain a pregnancy... Just a thought honey... :hug:

dellydoo - what are you studying? I just got home from exam number one for a social science youth work degree. Thankfully it was quite easy... Worried about next weeks though.

sunny, sorry for your bfn :( will you be trying again? Maybe it's too early, only 11dpo afterall...

AFM - nausea nausea nausea... thought I may have to run out and hurl during my exam this morning but managed to hold it together. Bring on Monday morning. I want to test so badly!!!

TEST TEST TEST!!!!!! :pray::pray::pray::pray:

I agree.... Test Test Test.... The suspense is killing us!!!!! :goodluck::crossfingers:

Hi all

I am sitting here in tears reading your positive post because I just cant seem to get it up.

My DH keeps saying he will get his swimmers tested but has the WORST memory, so I had to book the appointment MYSELF and i hate that! I HATE IT!

I have now officially been trying for 20 months and into the 21st month and NO help from my doctors, NO offer for refferal to fertility specialist, NOTHING. I have had to do it all myself...as usual...

I got my period 2 hours ago and Im feeling really very very depressed and like a complete failure that 21months in and all I have to give my husband is a tree out the back with a poem to our dead 7 week old baby under it, some baby clothes in a bag hidden in the cupboard and a swarovski crystal dummy I gave him when I got my bfp

maddison, sunny, it's killing me too because I'm 99% sure it wil be a bfp but emotionally need to wait til after sunday. Easter Sunday I MC at 5 weeks and if this is a bfp then Sunday is 5 weeks and I can't handle knowing before then and then having AF arrive just after... it's like I can actually feel it inside though, like a marble sized thing and if I lay on my side it's there... am I imagining things?!! lol perhaps.

coco - I say again what I said in the other thread, be strong. It's hard having to push all the time but just imagine what it will be like pushing out your baby and it will be worth all the pushing now to find answers :hug:

coco - :comfort:
is it that DH is not so much forgetting to make the appointment, but perhaps a bit afraid to? either way, it doesn't matter, and you have now taken the steps to get seen to. Fingers crossed this will bring you the answers and that BFP before too long. :comfort:

Coco im so sorry that you are feeling so upset and that you are having to do all this on your own. You should speak to your husband and let him know that you really need his help.
I think having something to visualize is really important so i have my small supply of baby clothes hanging up in the spare bedroom at home. Usually the door is closed but i often go in and imagine what it will be like in the future. I find it helps gets me pumped for the future and some days it helps me to cry when i need to have a cry. Dont hide your baby stuff in a cupboard. Be proud of wanting a baby.
I hate ringing for appointments and asking people for things but just remember why you are doing it. Take charge of your medical care. Demand a referral to who ever you feel you need to see and demand they help you.
Use this sad time to make you strong and go after what you want. You WILL have a beautiful baby!!! And im very sure your husband is so in love with you and doesnt think you are a failure at all beacuse you arent.

Coco hun I totally understand your frustration. I'm now into month 27 of trying 2 m/c later and still no baby. But maddison's right we have to take charge. I'm very proactive though (and maybe a bit demanding ;)) so I asked for the referral to the FS our second month of trying as I new from charting that I needed help to ovulate. Thankfully, I also went in armed with knowledge from net research about what I wanted as they wanted to start me on hormone injections and start IUI straight away without even one proper cycle of us trying on our own. I've also made all the appts. for donor daddy and told him when and where he needs to be. Even for a gay guy though I'd imagine a semen analysis is a bit daunting (though he'd never say so) it's a real manhood sort of issue having good swimmers. I guess most guys would also feel they are letting there partner down if they can't give them the one thing they so desperately long for.

This is a horrible and hard journey so I hear you loud and clear, the longing is definitely over whelming sometimes.

Evening all, sorry for the mia, but i have been having net issues, i have read through quite a few pages now, so too many to do personals for for, except..
ferrals, awe hun, i really wish i could have been here for you when u posted ur results.
Im glad everyone else was here to give you the support that u needed.
Coco, im so sorry that af has arrived.

afm, no af, still spotting on and off, mostly tinged cm, except today was more brown, got a bfn yesterday. cd39.

Smallfry-i think you are pregnant the one thing i have learnt through everything i have been through lately is that when it comes to pregnancy and what goe's on in our body it is something that you really dont have much control over if it's meant to be it will be and i think nature takes it's course when we are pregnant if baby is healthy and all is good it will stick so try not to get yourself worried over the dates of previous M/C consentrate on being healthy happy and destressed for that baby that i'm sure is on it's way.AND FOR GOD SAKE PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY AND TEST( lol )

Dellydoo-thank's i think my odd's are worth the risk it's just going to be the awlful 12 week wait to get the all clear when we are pregnant and i'm in the tww to but i'm not to worried about it this month i think we missed the egg.

Sunny-sorry hun you diddn't get your BFP this month.

Coco-i'm feeling ya hunny i can give my ex a#####e 3 beautiful boys but the love of my life had to watch our stillborn daughter being born and he feel's that he cant give me a healthy baby either i feel like i have failed him and he feels he has failed me.
But after 21 months you should be looking into the reason why so you can get some answers and i have all my baby stuff set up and waiting except a few thing's that were ment just for abbi but it give's me hope and i go in the baby's room and look at them from time to time.

Anila-good to see you back thank's for thinking of me the girl's gave me some encouraging word's and i'm trying to be positive we have to be i want to give the love of my life a baby so i will do what it takes to do that sorry to here your spotting and got a BFN i guess we will be here to keep each other company a bit longer.

I'm going to have a shower i will get back to you girl's i missed

Hi ladies
Cherished how are you? hope you are feeling as good as you can be right now
Smallfry your symptoms sound excellent- :pray: for you Monday, man you are strong, I would have tested ages ago lol

Sorry to everyone with BFNs :wall: when is it going to be our turn again? I just want more good news in here, not just for hope for me but cos you guys deserve it!

Hi girls, my name is Cat,
found this website today and have had a little read, thaught it would be nice to join instead of going bananas on my own.....My Husband and I have been trying to have a babe for 3 1/2yrs, submitted to the fact of trying IUI and all of a sudden fell pregnant b/f treatment. We misscarried at 7 half wks in March and broke our hearts. Feel ok until im due for my period,I get all nervous...then dissapointed when I start bleeding.
Have a 33day cycle and am on day 22, just ovulated.
Sorry I gotta learn all the abreviations!!!
Anyway just wanted to pop in and say hello.
Thank you to everyone sharing their stories, even the dissapointing ones give hope to readers like me. I know now im not alone.

Hi Cat and welcome to BB :). I'm so sorry about your loss :hug: You're right that sharing with others who understand lightens the load a little, and helps us to feel less alone. I hope that your get your BFP (Big Fat Positive pregnancy test ;)) very soon! And we'll be here to support you while you're trying, and once you are pregnant :D

Thank you,
And I love your quote at the bottom of your page. Made me smile...so true x

sorry... this just has to be all about me this morning. Last night my sis and DH ganged up on me and told me I had to test this morning... (sis spends most weekends with us). Sooooo... this morning I tested and it's faint but..... :bfp: I'm so excited but it's only 6:33 am and I can't wake everyone cos we had a late night last night! WOOHOO!!! And this one is already making me feel rather crook so I'm quite sure it is a keeper :)

:bfp: :dance:

:loveshower:

I hope so much to see more :bfp: action in here over coming days :hug:

Smallfry, that is fantastic news, congratulations!!!!!! I hope that sick feeling keeps on and on LOL. Enjoy this time hun, it is so, so special :D

Smallfry-WOOHOO!!!! we all knew you would be i am so happy for you and i think it's a sticky one if you feel so sick so now you can relax and enjoy the rest of the pregnancy but don't leave us girl's still trying.

Cat-welcome to BB i'm sorry for your loss and i hope we can be of some help through your TTC journey.

I had a dream last night we were pregnant again and i was in the hospital to get my cvs results they were positive for SLO i fainted and DH picked me up then my dream went on to us doing the PGD IVF i asked for two embies to be put in to give us a better chance than my dream went to me standing in my front yard watching DH yelling at my boys for breaking the whipper snipper and i was holding a blonde baby boy in my arm's i wonder if i'm seeing my future.

I also wanted everyone's opinion if you dont mind if you were in my situation and could concieve naturally would you take the risk of the next baby being affected with SLO or would you just go straight to PGD IVF and know for sure that the embie was not affected with it but the chance of concieving is like only 40% and it's 12,000 per cycle regardless if you get pregnant or not (medicare cover 80% at the moment) but your still out of pocket 5,000 + i have just been thinking about it i would love to get pregnant natrually but terminating at 13 weeks if the baby is affected is playing on my mind i would love your opinion and don't be afraid to be honest with me i will not judge anyone on their replies i just want some outside imput on what others would do

Smallfryplus - CONGRATULATIONS..... Im so glad you were pressured into testing but you already knew that test was going to be positive. I am so so happy for you and your family. Wishing you the healthiest and happiest pregnancy. You give us all hope that we might be next and its an amazing feeling. Bring on the morning sickness!

congrats Smallfryplus!! Knew it already but so beautiful to see that BFP!!

Welcome to CatKat! Hope you enjoy your time with us and that you're not here for too long ;)

AFM: Very selfish I know. Just waiting for RB (Rat Bastard!) to show her ugly mug! BFN again, just stoopid me testing, but hey im clinging to that 1% chance of a BFP! crazy!

Have a good weekend, im at work then have to write a merit selction criteria for a challenging and hard to teach school. Oh the blimin' joys!

xoxoxoxoxox:pray::pray::pray::pray:

cherished, you there????? you've not been around lately, hope you're ok :pray:

:leap: wooot wooooooo SmallFry!!! :leap: I looooove to see news of a :bfp: May this pregnancy be looong and sticky!!!!! Congratulations my love... :hug:

Ferrals: It's a hard one darling woman and a very personal decision. You did ask specifically what I would do. I think I would ttc and pray that your little one is healthy. However, I am not you and it's such a personal thing. I am thinking of you as you make this decision - just know you are supported and loved in here whatever your decision - we are here for you... :hug:

Congratulations Smallfry! Fantastic news about your :bfp: ! :happyforyou: Here's hoping that the rest of us aren't far behind!

Welcome Cat - I have only just started posting on here too and think that I have just ovulated for the first time since my second miscarriage last month. Fingers crossed our tww is successful.

Hi Ladies,

I've been MIA for a few days so lots to catch up on.

Smallfry - What great news!! :dance: CONGRATS!!! I am so happy for you, and it also gives me so much hope (so thanks:D).

Welcome CatKat so sorry to hear about the loss of you bubs, I hope your stay is short and you get a BFP very soon!!! Then we can all celebrate with you!

Ferrals Through blury eyes i read the outcome of you appointment :hug: you are being so strong. A 75% chance of a healthy bub is high, the odds are in your favour. As far as what I would do in your position, it is so hard to say. You have been through so much, and i think only you can know if you are strong enough to face the 3 month wait before they can test. Such a hard decision... wishing you all the best.

Congratulations Smallfry!!! YAY!!!! sending super sticky vibes, and I hope you keep on hurling for a good few weeks yet! (I mean that in the nicest possible way - LOL). Seriously though, the nausea so early has to be a good sign, so YAY :dance: for you!

Hi Cat, and welcome. Sorry you had to be here, but the ladies here are great.

Ferrals, that is a difficult decision. And as flowerchild said, a very personal one. But as you did ask, I will give my 2 cents worth.
I would try naturally. You have a 75% chance that all will be OK, so I think it would be worth it. Even if you do go down the IVF path, it doesn't always succeed as you know. If you had no luck conceiving naturally, or if you were to conceive and then have problems, then I would try the IVF - only then.
The other thing to consider is the cost. And for me, if I *knew* it would work, and it was guaranteed, then I would do it, but there is no guarantee, and you could be spending alot of money that could otherwise help your children in other ways.
I know that the decsion to terminate is a difficult one, one of the hardest that you will ever have to make. But support is out there, and you will not be judged by anyone with an ounce of compassion. There is the termination support group here on these boards, and you may be able to discuss your concerns with some of the ladies who have been through it.
Anyway, I have gone on too long, I just meant to say that 75% is still good odds in my book - the glass is way more than half full.

Sorry to all those who didn't get their BFP this month.

AFM - it's "O" day, so still got a little bit more egg chatching to do yet!

:grouphug:

Hi everyone,
I have been reading through the messages on this forum and have found it very helpful and comforting as i to have had a miscarriage this previous week. I dont know exactly when it happened but i started bleeding last saturday, not very heavily, but it was not easing up. I had blood test done on tuesday and U/S booked for wednesday but when i went to the drs she looked at my blood results and said we didnt need to do the ultrasound, the bloods confirmed the worst:(
Anyway im not too sure whether it has passed or not and not really sure how long i am likely to still bleed for, but mit is all very confusing and confronting.
I am wondering if anyone can tell me how long after a m/c it is safe to start trying to conceive again??
Finding out i was pg was so exciting and i want that feeling back but also i am very scared that this may happren again if i get pg too soon after.
Cherished hunny i hope you are doing ok, and thankyou so much for telling me about this forum it has helped quite a lot.
Anyway better get going have to get ready for a bday dinner tonight which im looking forward to catching up with everyone and to take my mind off things.
Talk soon and take care everyone:)

ELise Louise - I am so sorry sweetheart and I know someone here will be able to help - I am TTC with ICSI so I just do what the Dr tells me. I hope you get that pg feeling back again and a healthy baby in your arms one day - it is what we are all striving for here. I know it is confusing and frightening right now and you have a million Whys? in your head but know that all of us here understand and are here to help.
much love
Delly

Thanks for the opinions ladies it all help's
I feel i'm leaning toward's trying natrually for a few month's and we will see what happen's as for the IVF that is an option that we will consider when the doctor's say so they said try natrually first.

I need to have a winge!!!
I had a remark said to me about as i already have children i shouldn't consider either option I just want everyone to know my 3 boy's are involved in this as is the rest of my family and we have talked to them as they are now 16 turning 14 and turning 12 and if i for a second thought that it was affecting them or they said they don't want me to do this i would not and i would never let my boy's go without for our quest for a baby i know people say but you already have kid's be happy with what you have i met the love of my life and it's somthing that we really have our heart's set on and i don't think it matters how many children you have or dont have it is still heart breaking to lose a baby and it upset me then i started to question myself should i do this is it fair and my answer was yes it is my life and life is to short to listen to negative comment's so i am not going to mention my baby dreams to anyone but you girls and my family from now on.
I am so sorry to go on and on i am just annoyed that it is alright for skanky drug addicted dole bluggers to breed but a working mum of 3 in love and able to afford a baby get's judged ggrrrrrrrr!!!!!

Smallfry - AM so very very happy for your darling; what wonderful news and I love your positive - it's great that I feel rotten approach!
Milly - Catch that egg sweets
CatKat - I am so sorry darling -we are all here for you.
Sunny Sweetheart - I think RB is the most appropriate name - AF sounds like a sweet old lady that makes you hot choc when she clearly is not - Hugs to you darling.
Coco - I cried reading your post - and totally got ferrals response, there is no rhyme or reason to this journey, no right or wrong only hope, hope and more hope - I am sending you some sunshine honey, I pray you get it.

AFM - dodging study as usual - I am studying psychology and have retgurned to Uni as an undergrad (I keep thinking I am an undergran)
Much love
Delly

Ferrals - Honey - Sod them, people are going to judge you because that's what people do. I love the phrase that opinions are like bumholes - everyone has one and they usually stink. Honey this is such a deeply personal decision, so how other people feel about it is worth less than nothing. I am just sorry you had to hear it and it has caused you to question your path. Remember why you started this and don't let the ignorant intrude. My Mum always says...let them talk if they have the time, I've got better things to do.
Much love
Delly

Sorry eliselouise i posted before i saw your post i was to busy having a winge i am sorry you lost your baby i had my first M/C i think 9 years ago at 7 weeks it was like a heavy period after the product's of conception came away and then my cycle went back to normal my recent loss was an early induction and the same as giving birth i bled for week's ,milk came in ect i am assuming your loss was early i hope the bleeding settles down so you can TTC soon.

Dellydoo-:hug:thanks for that i feel so much better you girls always no what to say

Yay Smallfry am so happy for you :dance:
ferals, people who havent been in your shoes have no right to comment like that, and in regard to ur other question I think I would ttc naturally, 3 in 4 is great odds to me.

Hi CatKat and Eliselouise, hoe your stay in here is short and we can all help you in our own way...

AFM still not bleeding so am glad of that, have no idea if or when I will O since havent tried charting etc, might have to consider it next time round.

Yay congratulations Smallfry!
I am so very happy and excited for you.

Ferrals, hunni, like th others have said its something u need to think about and decided if u are strong enough emotionally, but if it were me, i am ttc obsessed, so i dont think i could even not ttc naturally, so i think i would try naturally while saving money for ivf.
I do wish u all the best in what ever choice u choose and support you and your family in having the dream of extending your family.

Hello and welcome to the new ladies, i am so very sorry for your loss, and i hope u can fine comfort and support here.

Hello to everyone else.

afm, no af, spotting all gone again, i just want it to hurry up, its like an extra kick in the face every day she doesnt turn up!!

KM1&Anila -thank's heaps what you both said has giving me encouragment that what i am doing is the right choice for me 3 out of 4 chances of a healthy baby is not the be all and end all so my TTC journey continues and Anila i'm a bit obsessed myself with ttc now that i have an extra 3 months after the BFP until i can get excited i am more relaxed and not obsessing over every twinge and pain and cm and temp ect and have you tested yet when was RB due?

Cherished-how are you today i hope your feeling better.

Milly-hope your having fun catching that egg.

Sunny09-hope RB doesn't show.

Zacsmum,sunbeam,maddison,coco,mellyw,erybery all my bb girls have a great sat night