Tegam-I left a message it is so sad i know we all can get pretty depressed with losing a baby i know when we had to make the decision to end Abbi's pregnancy and then go through the 9 hour labour and hold her in my arms and say goodbye i wanted to die i didnt think i could go on it took me a while but even to this day i can not forgive myself for what i had to do the decision we had to make no mother or father should have to go through that i had my 3 boys to think of and if it wasnt for them i don't know how i would have got through it but this forum has been a big help to me and every month that i am reminded that i am still not pregnant i hit rock bottom again only for a day or two then i pick myself up and carry on because i know that all the friends i have here are going through this with me.