Anila - hun, I'm glad you posted cos it gives all of us an opportunity to tell you that it's ok to feel that way. You lost a baby, one you got to see moving and hear it's heartbeat, you will always hold onto that and shouldn't let it go. I remember nearly bursting into tears of joy when I saw my first baby on the ultrasound and I can only imagine the agony if I had lost her. I don't believe grieving ever completely ends and losing a child has to be the worst grief, even if you never met them. So feel it and embrace it for a little while and the pain will ease again. Take care
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Thanks you hun, i dont know what it is, but i just cant seem to let go of that baby, it was my first, i never got to find out the gender, but i always thought it was a boy.
Hi

Well I thought it a coincidence that Anila mentioned the pregnancy tests from 1998 as I wanted to ask what some of you did with your +HPT from your angel baby if you dont mind me asking. I have like 20 ++HPT plus my ++OPT from my recent m/c but cant bring myself to discard them but do I keep all of them? If I loook at them I burst out crying and part of me wants to post pictures of them all to say it was real and it did happen but another part of me feels they are not helping. Not sure where to put them and what to do with them. The first response is too big to put in a album or something and I have like 10 first responses. Any ideas?

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Hun, i am also having trouble getting rid of all my tests from this angel baby, i did over $80 worth, so i have about 15, so this week, i decided to throw one out a day, its silly but i say to the stick, i love you and i miss you, then i throw it out, i am keeping the last one i did as it is the darkest, and i took pics of all my tests together on my mobile, so i can still look at them, then i am going to scrapbook both my angel babies, i had taken a photo of the digital test that said pregnant, i had even put it in my bb gallery.

I think just keep one, the one that is the darkest, that way you will still have a connection, and you can always take the strip out of the case and frame it.
My test from 1998 is still very dark, im supprised at the quality.

I went to the docs yesterday and have a referral for an ultrasound if AF doesnt stop soon, to check there's nothing left. The thought of having a D & C now really bugs me- has been over a month since my m/c and I am trying to move forward, i think having to go through that procedure would make me feel back at square one again- and would take me there emotionally too.

Anila I bawled my eyes out reading your post, you poor thing, please don't be down on yourself for what you did...its perfectly normal... I think similar things, like this week I should have been 13 weeks and I would have been able to tell people and its just so unfair. My sister is also pregnant and I find that really tough- she is 20 weeks next week and doesnt know I was pregnant or about the m/c. I'm not going to tell her, would make it hard for her and I really don't want pity either (no matter how well intended).

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Hunni, i just want to send you some hugs, i hope that everything has left on its own and that you can avoid having the d&c.



Hi poppy, im sorry that you have to join us, but welcome.