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Ruthie - darling whatever happens you will be able to deal with it, it might not be ideal but the fact that we are all in here means that we have some experience of what is not ideal and have coped before. You are super strong and we are all here for you.
Melissa - Welcome honey - I am so sorry you find yourself here and for the loss of your three babies and your Dad. God - what a lot of pain you have had. Honey - if you want to whinge for hours, feel freakin' free. It is your right darling. You don't need to go to your SIL's birth honey and I am sure she will understand.
plc - thank you for shaking my tree - was getting a little lonely up there!
Good morning to you lovely Smi xx
AFM - Had another shot of pregnyl this morning and am a little emotional but happy that I am back at work. I miss my darling Murray, he is still in Sydney. Well I am off to get ready to work. Love to you all and hugs till your ribs get sore.
Love
Adele
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Thank you for all the replies it means alot :grouphug:
:goodluck::noaf::bluedust::pink-babydust::SAAF::stickyvibesboy::stickyvibesgirl:
to you all
Thinking of you all and hopefully will be back later to do persies
Take care xxxx
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mo3b - I'm so sorry you're having a difficult time. Look after yourself :hug: :hug:
ajc - Thanks for the early chrissy presents.
adele - Great to hear you're back at work. Even though TWW is tough, hopefully you're work gives you something else to think about at times.
ruthie - Thinking of you hun :hug:
smi - Congrats on making state!
melissal - Welcome, but wish you didn't need to join us (IYKWIM). I'm so sorry for all the loss you've had to endure so far. But I'm glad you have found us. The girls here are fantastic support. Feel free to vent here all you want 'cause we all get it. In regards to you SIL, you do whatever you need to do for you. Wishing you lots of luck on your TTC journey.
Big hello and hugs to everyone else :bluedust: :stickyvibesgirl:
AFM - Still plodding along. DH won't push but I know he wants to get back to TTCing next cycle. I'm okay with that - AF arrives next week, giving me 2 more weeks before I have to worry about it. I've taken a step back, taken a deep breath and relieved some of the pressure I was putting on myself. It broke my heart to see DH holding our friend's newborn baby the other day.
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Dellydo: Tears rolled down my cheeks as I read your reply....:redface: Thank you momma..
I don't feel like I'm strong.. when hubby left this morning Erick came to my bed and snuggled next to me.. as I saw him smiling in his sleep I realized how big he is... he will be 4 on Dec 16th..my preemie son..who ever thought he was so tiny a mere 4 pounds when he came to this earth??? in what seems like yesterday...then I started thinking about this baby... my babies.. how my family would have been complete, 4 children giggling and running around loose in my apartment. I started sobbing. I opened a drawer I have..where in it lies all the little onesies hubby so excited got for me along with some cute baby shoes and socks..that were for this baby.:redface:
I had the ultrasound there.. for those who never saw my baby here is the u/s pic..
http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/f...yofOurBaby.jpg
going back to that day I was 7 weeks..The baby was head down and OMG I saw her move.!! It was more like a little quick jump I guess... I thought I was 6 weeks and my god did I cry that day!! of joy..cried so much the doctor couldn't hold her tears..which had me cry-laughing. that amazing heartbeat of 143 BPM..turned to static that horrible day when I was 11w1d.:crying:
this pic was of my belly I that day.. I was a bit bored before hubby picked me up to take me to the u/s place and I decided to take a few pics to show off along with the u/s when I came back...
http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/f...11picasa-1.jpg
unfortunately.. you know the rest.
The day of my D&C ...when the doc was putting the meds to make me sleep in my IV I remember looking down @ my belly and saying "GoodBye baby.. I love you and miss you" then everything went black..when things started to come back.. I felt empty. So empty.. I touched my already sunken belly and just cried and cried and still cry today..and right now I'm crying.
I never thought in the world this was going to happen again I was so confident I had really kicked infertility butt!
But.... all in all.. I want to thank you.. and all my girls here.. for being there for me. You all know what I went through and talking about this.. I found this site where you put your angel baby's info and it has a lit candle for your baby always... mine is at the very bottom and you will see my name in it ( Ruthie..)
Angel baby mommies..if you want put your baby there.... it is very sweet..go to the candle room in the menu to the left and there you will find it
Melissal: Myheart goes out to you..please knwo you are among friends here and I being one of them ♥ As you see I too am in your same shoes.... and everyone's here...and this poem is for you and for all here:
A Pair of Shoes
I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some woman are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don?t hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.
Momof3boys: You have yourself a friend in me. ♥
Smi: LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU GIRL!!!! ♥ (hugs)
HannahD: Thank you dear friend!! ♥ you!
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Flowerchild, Angelbabies, KrystieLove and Jen - It was nice to hear your encouragement, but never fear, I have not given up by a long shot :D I am a very stubborn woman. I figure as long as I have AF (the witch that it is) I have a sporting chance at giving DD a much longed for sibling.
Jen - I think I got the Jonas method mixed up with the Lunar cycles Krystie (?) was talking about a couple of months back. But I did type my details into the calendar. Surprisingly, I o'ed about prior to the best time for conception this cycle. And the risk factor was a beautiful zero. But I have light cramping this AM and feel AF may be on its way. Bugger!
HannahD - I am so proud of you holding the newborn after your recent MC. I still go out of my way to avoid putting myself in that situation. On the one hand I feel selfish, but on the other hand I just don't want to do things that make me potentially miserable. It is wonderful you are moving forward with such positivity!
Mannie - Hip Hip Hooray for your BFP :cheer: Stick li'l bubba!
Issy - nice to see you. Love your ticker :D
MegsMum - Happy sniffin', m'dear. I'll be just a few steps behind and right beside you along the way.
Babymiracles - good luck with your new IVF cycle.
Mel and Dellydoo - Sending you both lots of babydust during the 2WW
KrystieLove - I understand how new births are reminders despite time passing or even being PG. It keeps happening at my DD's playgroup. Seems everyone (who is in a releationship) has now had No.2. Some are even contemplating No.3. So happy you are now 11 weeks - nearly at that 1st Trimester milestone. Not far to go now, hon
Mummy of 3 boys - I am so sorry to read things have been so difficult. :hug:
AJC - that was a beautiful story about the bear. Your new bubba will love that bear and you can hold them both. Sending you some cheery :bellyrubs: - you must be absolutely blossoming now.
Ruthie - Hi there. Good luck with the new specialist.
Smi - Great news about your Marching Band :)
Melissa - :welcome: I am sure I can speak on behalf of the wonderful ladies here and say: "sorry you have to be here, but we are here for you and we hope your stay is a very short one". I hope the birth goes well for your SIL but understand how difficult the idea of supporting her through it must be for you. Personally, I think it is a little inappropriate, even selfish, to ask you to be there. It has only been a few months. Glad the herbal concoctions are making you feel well and wish you the best in your TTC journey.
AFM - mild AF cramps this morning. Perfectly fine about it as we will be allowed to start our Orgulaltron (Orangutan, for you Krystie ;)) cycle immediately. Bring it on!
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WTH: Thank you!!! :hug: I know it will happen one day..... we both are trying for #2???... Well if so I'm right there with ya..most of my friends are expecting #2 or 3 or 4.. I know it's not a race..and now maybe 2 will be enough for me..(maybe) ... hehe I just LOVE pregnancy.. I wish I was like hubbys grandma..she popped 16 actually no she popped 18 :o and 2 died!!!!!!!!:o :ROFL::bump: talk about FOREVER PREGNANT???:o
BBWWAHAHAAAHAHHAHA!!! Gosh needed to laugh..I was crying on my last post...:redface:
(catching breath...) Girl we will BOTH get though this..pinky promise!!!! All of us will....
:D
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Hey girls I have been moving into my new place with DH so that's why I have been gone and have not posted ... jen WTH ruthie Krystie Rachel Issy Smi and everyone else big :hug: I still have not started ttc yet I'm waiting until my bday on the 7th I hope this next one is my forever baby !!!
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melissa - i'm glad to see you come out of lurksville hun. you've come to a wonderful network of support here my friend. pls let me know if i can help any further with anything. big big hugs....
toccara - uve been gone but certainly not forgotten - best of everything to you sweet.
hey and hugs to everyone.
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Smilinatu, Dellydoo, Hannah, Wherethereshope - thank you so much for the warm welcome :). I feel like so many of my friends must be thinking, here she goes again when I start my tirade yet again so it will be so nice talking to people who genuinely understand
Ruthie - 0h hun, that poem brought tears to my eyes. Huge :hug:, can't wait for the day where we all see our sticky little bub with a perfect little heartbeat up on that screen. Holy cow, 18 babies - WOW!!!! Yeah, I've only been pg for a sum total of about 17 weeks but, aside from the worry, I loved it and can't wait to be so again.
WTH - yeah, I have had that thought about SIL. I know the mature thing to do would be come straight out with how I feel, but then there is another little part of me that thinks why can she not stop and think just for a sec how hard this is for DH and I :rolleyes:
Tocarra - what an awesome b'day pressie that would be - the start fo a nice sticky cycle :)
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So sorry girls.... have had such a busy day! Got my totals for my fundraising endeavors to date-- I can't believe it.... $4,510.97 in about 3 weeks!! :leap: Going to start another one that we just got today for family portraits.... the main reason I want to do it is because the coordinator gets $100 portrait credit!! I'm WAY stoked! :hooray:
Anyhow, very sorry that I failed miserably at persies today... will do better tomorrow!
Super BIG :grouphug: for the Fab 3/4!!! *kiss*
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Hi everyone.... I normally post in the LTTC section, but I thought I would pop in here because so many of your stories/experiences are things I can relate to, especially right now, having lost our angel just over a week ago at 8.5 weeks...it's a week today since my D&C and we can resume IVF in Jan... might try naturally before then, even though, with only one tube, and one which is in bad shape, our chances are slim!
I am still crying lots and upset and angry and resentful and empty...
ruthie- when I read how you saw that lovely heartbeat and then nothing at that awful scan I knew just how you felt...our baby had a lovely 146bpm heartbeat...and the next week, nothing.... it is heartbreaking to see it...
sending you all big hugs...especially those of you who are currently nursing raw grief like me
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Hi everyone
Have been so busy so have only had time to lurk, not to post.
Jen - :thumbsup: well done on the fundraising total. You must so proud of yourself, you've worked so hard to raise that money for your school Well done. :clap:
Ruthie - thinking of you :hug:
MO3B - :hug: for you too.
Melissa and Possums - :welcome: to our little thread. I'm so sorry that you both had to join us, but what a place to be. This is the most supportive group of women you'll ever find. Feel free to cry, yell, scream, vent or laugh. We've all been there and done it. There's always a shoulder to lean on when you need it. Hopefully you will be able to move on to the pregnancy after m&l thread soon, where the girls are minding seats for all of us.
Smi - *wavin*. How are you? Well done on moving off to State. All the best with that comp. (when is it?)
PLC - *wavin* and :bellyrubs: for you.
Delly - thinking of you and hoping that FET sticks for you.
Toccara - Hello, welcome back. the 7th isn't far away (what a lovely pressie that would make)
To everyone I missed (I'm not as good as Jen and keep a list) :pink-babydust::stickyvibesgirl:
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Hi ladies.....thanks to all of you who have given me well wishes for this sticky bub, I know we'll make it through with all your prayers and support, if you don't mind I'll be popping in every so often just to see how everyone is doing and really enjoy reading all your stories and especially your advice.
Ruthie - don't you worry girl, I know you'll have a baby miracle soon I can feel it! I checked out your ultrasound and belly photo and just really thought to myself 'how bloody unfair!' but we can't dwell on what was but what will be right! so my heart goes out to you and to all the ladies here that 2009 will be a lucky year for all us! 2nd of April was my angel baby's due date too so I'll be thinking of you when that date comes around next year!
Toccara - welcome back you have been sorely missed, goodluck on your Birthday and ttcing...:bluedust:
Dellydoo - goodluck with the FET
Smi - thankyou I hope we call get BFP's very soon!!!
Jen - congrats on the fundraising, you did fantastic! hoping for you this month, you were so close last month, I was certain you were UTD!:stickyvibesgirl:
Welcome Melissa, I'm so sorry for your loss, and I don't think you ever get over the loss of your baby, so don't think you should be over it by now, they'll always remain in your heart but you do go on and you will have successful pregnancies so chin up beautiful girl, your turn will come and it will be grand!!! so lots of :bluedust: to you
AFM - well the OBGYN offices called me this morning to reschedule as doc had emergency last night and couldn't see his patients today, so now am going in on Thurs, was soo disappointed I had everything ready for him, my ultrasounds, and charts, and my list of questions, I also wanted to get blood tests done so I know what my HCG levels are. So far this pregnancy feels different to the last, I've been so very tired and nauseous, I had to dry wretch this morning at work, something that never happened with the last one and I've had absolutley no spotting, just tiny bit, nothing like last time, during the day the nausea comes and goes and I've had bad heartburn, also didn't have that last pregnancy. My DH has been so good, cleaning up and telling me to keep my feet up and relax, I know he hates housework but he khows for the babies sake he needs to help me out...he's also sworn me to secrecy, that I can't tell anyone until 12 weeks, so of course my sister knows because she's been going through all this with me and I speak to her everyday about my cycle, but it was sooo hard to lie to my mother today, but I know her she's your typical italian, can't help but tell her best friend who'll then tell her son and daughter in law who are good friends of mine and who in turn will probably tell our other mutual friend so in the end everyone will know, so better to be safe then sorry, and it will be a great xmas present when we go down to Sydney to visit them all! I can't wait! Only 7 weeks to go!
Anyway must go finish making dinner and go pick up hubby from the physio...
to anyone that I've missed, lots of :bluedust::stickyvibesgirl: to you all...ciao ciao
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WTH: Thank you hun!! hugs
Toccara: Miss you sweets!! hugs GGRR moving.. just was there and still am unpacking a few things.. GGRRR but in the end all worth it.. LOL Hope you are doing good
Plc: :bellyrubs:
Melissal: My heart goes out to you... it was (still is ) so hard to remember. I hope you heal dear friend.. I'm in the process too.
About my hubbys grandma.. girl when I first met her I saw a portrait in her house and I was AAAWWWEEEEDDD at holy MOSES!! That one one HUGE FAMILY PORTAIT!!! :o
then when I was preggo of my son she rubbed my belly a lot and told me she actually had 2 babies die if SIDS. but wow she actually popped 18... no m/c.
heeheh it was so funny though..cuz if you meet her she is mall framed and frail (like 80 yrs old now) and you would never think she had so many kids!! HEHEEH
Momma.. I'm here for you..as are all these amazing friends I met here which I myself can say I feel blessed to have met them all here!!!
My best wishes going your way!! Don;t give up!!!! We will all have a beautiful baby soon!;)
Jen: Good job on the fundraiser!!!!!! sending you a huge hug and smoochies!!:p
Possums: Welcome hun.... I know just the feeling.. a horrible one. I hope you too heal darling.. I'm in the process too..
That day was horrible and it is so painful I just block my thoughts when they lurk on remembering that day...
but one day..... one day. we will BOTH rejoice with a beautiful miracle..healthy and wiggling in our arms. you betcha!! You sure have a friend here!
Mollycat: hugs. & smoochies thank you love.
Mannie: I dread that day.... but I know it will be survivable. Thank you ever so much for your comforting words. We both will get through this.. pinky promise! You will have a healthy wiggling munchkin this time around!! Wishing you a H&H pregnancy and the very very BEST!!!!!!!:stickyvibesgirl::stickyvibesboy:
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Melissa & Possum--:welcome: to you both.... I'm so very sorry for the losses that bring you to our humble little thread. Unfortunately we all know too well the sorrow and despair you're feeling at the moment, so who better to help you work thru it than those who've been there before! Please feel free to ask any questions you may have--there really is no such thing as TMI around here! There's always a supportive shoulder to lean on, almost at all times of the day--so please remember that we're here for you girls whenever you need us! :hug: I pray you both find the comfort and support that you need, and just know that the rest of us are here to cheer you both on in your TTC journey! Much luck to you both!
WTH--AT the top of the Jonas page you can click on lunar calendar and it will also show you when the supposed best time to conceive is according to when the moon is in the exact spot it was at your birth. I've never been able to determine why the dates differ from the lunar calendar to the lunar conception--for instance, mine gives me two different dates for Nov.--lunar calendar shows Nov. 17th for me, but then under lunar conception it tells me that Nov. 11 is the day! And neither day is the day I'm even supposed to O on! Sorry, I'm sure I only confused us both more, instead of clearing any issue up you may have had! lol... Good luck with the Orangutan cycle! ;)
Hello's and :hug: for dellydoo, Hannah, Ruthie, & MO3B!
Toccara--Hey, girl! Glad to finally hear from you, I was getting worried! Congrats on moving, enjoy your new home! Is DH still at training during the week? Happy you're back, and looking forward to catching up! :hug: Will pray for your b-day BFP!!
mollycat--Thanks, I am proud of myself! I worked my booty off--thanks for noticing! *hugs* How's the second half of your TWW going?
Mannie--Sorry your appt. had to be rescheduled... at least you only have to wait just a couple days. Wishing you the best on Thurs! Here's some :stickyvibesgirl: to get you thru those couple days! *hugs*
Angel--I'm missing you and your posts!! :hug: Love ya lots!
plc--LOVED the funny invitation to Australia! :rofl: Thanks for the laughs!
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smi--Oooh, almost forgot your Congrats for heading off to state comp!! :leap: How excited and proud you must be! :clap:
plc--Thanks for that extra :hug: yesterday! I'll trade you for a :bellyrubs: !! Still looking for that new belly pic!
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Thought i would just check in, havent had any notifications for what seems like weeks!!!
have been a lurker for the past few days - sorry ladies :wall:
I think the trauma of last week is finally catching up with me and just feeling a bit drained, so taking it so easy. :) and chilling out.
Bleeding seems to have completly stopped now, so :pray: that thats it.
My belly has seemed to spring out over the weekend, and i actually feel pregnant now. which is so nice.
Will try and catch up with you all soon.
:grouphug:
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Thank you all for the well wishes for going to State...I am sooooo proud of the kiddos! They are all so excited...I am lovin' every minute of it!
Toccara...we've missed you hun...glad you've been well...don't you worry your forever baby is on the way!
Welcome Possums...may you find some peace & support here with us!
mollycat...*wavin* back State is this Saturday!!! Say a little prayer...there are 10 bands performing...
mannie...here's hoping for nothing but big smile come Thursday!
Hey to my Gurlies!!!
:bluedust::pink-babydust:
:stickyvibesboy::stickyvibesgirl:
AFM...Today is "O" day...God willing we'll catch that eggie!!! :fertilise:
