Trying to Conceive After Miscarriage or Loss October '08

Hen (this was actually a mistake but I guess it's a combo of Jen and Hun and also is appropriate cos you are a bit of a mother hen on this thread - I'll try it a bit and see if it sits - lol!!) Aren't you clever to have worked out your lunar phase. I so hope it works. C'mon you and I know that those BD shoes are really BD cowgirl boots ;) Go get him girlfriend!!!
I really missed you guys last Friday - the mind and heart were willing but the body won out in the end. Big hug to you for the lovely support you are!

Thanks, plc! :lol: I guess Hen is appropriate if only due to that "cool chick Jen" pic that Krystie made of me! Do you remember that one? :rofl: I'll have to e-mail you the one that she edited of me with Angel and Krystie! It's hilarious!

Here's hoping that Dr. Jonas knows what he's talking about! :crossfingers: I'm really :pray: it's true, especially after issy saying it worked for her every time! Krystie's been too sick, but I'm waiting to hear from her whether it worked for her, since she was going to give it a try that month that she fell pg. Working on his theory already! Already got my boots on! Yeeeeeeeeehaw! ;)

Good luck in this thread everyone! ! ! :poschart::fertilise::pink-babydust::bluedust::SAAF::noaf:

Jen - was lovely to have a little chat. lol at your thoughts of a new emoticon for throwing DH/DF or similar. he he he. I almost did that yesterday, had to throw a tanti for DH to mow the lawn. It was getting soooo long, I know we've had some rain but geez the place was looking like a jungle. All done now though & the emoticon would have come in handy then, he he he.

rach78 - the ladies in here are FABULOUS!! Say whatever you need to say because someone in here will understand and be able to help make you feel normal, and when you feel normal you do feel better. It's a tough tough journey and I wish no-one had to go through it. I find for me that it was the ladies in here who made me feel better, and time. It doesn't get easier but you just seem to learn over time how to handle your emotions. It's gutting when it feels like everyone around you is pregnant, try not to be too hard on yourself though. Don't feel selfish about your reaction, to be jealous (although completely happy for them) is totally NORMAL so don't think there is anything wrong with what you are feeling. Good luck and I promise the ladies in here will make your ttcaml journey (which I hope is really short) as nice as possible through their support..... and once you get to know them whacky sense of humour.

larz - 1 more sleep to go! ! ! ! Good luck - as soon as you see that little heartbeat you'll relax and just enjoy the rest! ! !

mollycat - I have so done that before too. It was earlier this year and I saw a friend out shopping who had just had a Bub. I saw them from a distance so just enough time to walk in the other direction. I felt really but about it but as you say, self preservation. I'd seen her heavily pregnant just before christmas and literally bumped right into her so no avoiding it but it was a bit awkward. You gotta do what you gotta do. Big Hugs.

Anyway - the shower is calling me, lazy day today. Can't wait to see lots of BFP's in here! ! ! Sending all of you all the luck in the world.

Dear Angel, Mollycat, Plc, jen, Milla and Ajc.....

Thankyou dear ladies for making me feel so welcome and comfortable to talk here, I already feel a bit better for it.
It is comforting to finally hear that what I'm feeing is normal, that it is ok to be feeling the way I am with no pressure to be any other way. It's the first time i've felt normal (whatever that is!!!) for a while. I can accept the pain, face it and know now that I can move on from this place that I am in right now, when I am ready too (and not a minute before!). Reading your posts has already made me feel stronger, and seeing that a couple of you are expecting little one's, well that is the best news I could hear right now!

Milla, thankyou for pointing me in the direction of the September posts, I will have a look there. You seem like quite a resilient woman, you have inspired me to try and look at the positives and have reminded me that I need to look after myself!!! I totally understand where you are coming from, not being able to face your friends the same way you once would have. After posting for the first time here last night, one of my sisters phoned me to tell me that she is pregnant! it couldn't have happened at a worse time (the phonecall, I mean) and I sobbed and sobbed on the phone to her even before she told me her news. My other sister is also pregnant and due 3 days before what would have been my due date. These are my sisters and i can't bear to talk to them at the moment. I could tell that my sister didn't really want to tell me her news last night, and she cried and told me that she was hoping that i was going to tell her that i was pregnant too! That was hard, I want to be there for my sisters and support them and be happy for them, but can't control the way i'm reacting to their pregnancies. But I'll get there, I know.....

Angel, thankyou for inviting me to look at your website. I must admit that I cried the entire time that I read through it but you come across as a truly inspirational, brave and strong woman. I love the 'shoes' poem, I have printed it off and will keep it with me to remind that i'm not alone....

Thankyou again to all of you, I leave here feeling much happier than I was yesterday.
I feel that this is going to be a great place to be......


xxxxxxx

rach - Sorry for your losses. :hug: But welcome. You'll find the ladies here fantastic (I think you've already found that out). They were the ones who told me that what I was feeling was okay. Once I gave myself permission to feel what I was feeling I started to heal.

Its tough when those around you are pregnant. Just be honest with your sisters about your feelings and when you're ready you can deal with their pregnancies. My cousin is due 4 days before I was and I haven't even spoken to her yet. But there's a whole history there which I won't go into. I just want you to know that the mixed reactions in you aren't unusual and are perfectly okay.

mollycat - Glad AF is finally easing up on you. Isn't renovating fun? *sarcasm* Its exciting when stuff gets done but there seems to be so much waiting on trades people.

plc - Of course you're welcome here. You remind us that it is possible. Hope all is well for you. :stickyvibesboy:

jen - :crossfingers: you get your BFP this month. Things are good with me this week. DH and I have been focused on "reconnecting". Last month wasn't a good one for me and I think I neglected him a bit and treated him as a means by which to get pregnant. But things are really great between us at the moment - the temperature is just right for making babies. ;)

milla - Congrats on taking the step to seek counselling. I hope it helps you.

Hi to tutmae, dellydoo, easha, fifi, joey, jenushka, mannie, angel, megsmum, ajc, tam and anyone else I have missed.

lots of :bluedust::pink-babydust::stickyvibesgirl::stickyvibesboy: for the new thread

Hi Ladies,

Sorry for the lack of persies, Im afraid its back to uni for me and the work load is INCREDIBLY HUGE!!!!! So this will have to be short and sweet so I can get back to it (yuk....and its a Sunday too :rolleyes:)

So...here is a HUGE :grouphug: for all you lovely ladies, I hope you are all doing well.

Although I tried to convince myself not to ttc, I have decided to keep trying. Im not expecting any miracles, I still have a long way to go to get my body in order, but we'll try anyway and cross that bridge when we get there. Also my lunar cycle is in sync with my menstrual cycle, so my best shot is this month....and Im taking it! 18th October is ov day, so iif im a bit quiet in here.....you know where ill be...;)

I started the macca powder last week too...GROSS! Oh the things we do!

Love to all you gorgeous girls, Ill try and get back in here for persies soon.

Issy

Thank you smi, mollycat, Mannie, easha , angel, joey (yay for seeing little aussie's heartbeat!) for your congratulations and kind wishes:hug:

jen - your chart is looking so hot right now, I swear it's about to go triphasic. How exciting! Oooh, the 26th June .... would love love love to be belly buddies! :goodluck: and :crossfingers: that the bd boots and/or Jonas come up with the goods for you!

Milla and rach78 - I see that the ladies in here have all given their opinion on the seeing a counsellor topic and I have to say that I found myself in pretty much the same boat as them. Being a part of this forum was the most healing place for me so I found myself coming here to talk about the pain that I was feeling, and got an incredible amount of compassion and support. I was given a referral by my gp, then by my ob to a counsellor, particularly after the loss of my second angel this year when I was finding it a bit longer to get back to "normal", but never found myself making an appt. I actually did see one of the free counsellors through work but that was a pretty useless experience - what AJC experienced was exactly the same thing I did - I started talking and blubbed my way through an hour while she just stared at me and I wound up feeling worse. I was hoping to get some coping strategies, but all I got was a handout on grief and loss as I was leaving! I think the main aim is to find someone who specialises in our type of grief/loss - you'll also know if their good if you walk away feeling better. Good luck with whatever you both decide.

wth - I am so sorry to hear about your bt results. I hope you are doing ok there.... how is dh recovering?

megsmum - go fred! Hope everything went well - it was today wasn't it? Can't let fred get away from those :bluesperm: (complete with sat nav of course!)

plc - thank you for your positivity and support. Please never stop popping in here. And omg - 27 weeks!

Easha - wow - you are so 2ww strong! when are you poas? Those temps are looking amazing!! :crossfingers:

afm - well, the state of pure positivity, strength and zen-ness lasted about 48 hours! Got a couple of very small bits of spotting over the last couple of days - am pretty sure it is implantation spotting with Bean snuggling in tight, as I get it on the day AF would be due with every pg. Still pretty freaky though (spotting = BAD after a m/c) but think I am doing a lot better now, as it seems to have eased up . Just took myself off to bed for a day just in case ;) Also took another hpt this morning and the test line was as dark as the control line - very reassuring.

So am now zen. ish. kinda. (thanks tutmae - fits me perfectly!!)

Hugs, hellos, babydust and stickyvibes to Hannah, dellydoo, AJC, fif, larz, ruthie (how are you?), toccara, krystielove, and anyone else I have probably missed!!

xx

my gosh - the temp is up again this morning and the BB's are getting sore - I so dont want to jinx myself so must keep quite :shhh: and hold on another 24 hours or so. The temp tomorrow should be even more interesting. :pray::crossfingers::noaf:

HannahD - So hard waiting on the "tradespeople" when we're "IT". We're doing this bit ourselves (as much as we can). We had a builder in earlier this year to do an extension and that freed up a room (the old kitchen) which we are converting in to a bedroom, next to that was a bathroom (we're turning that into an en-suite.) DH works for a plasterer (his boss owns two different companies), so hopefully he'll come in and do the internal walls for us (should only take a couple of hours), but we'll need a few others to come in and do some bits for us - the rest is us on weekends. We both work long hours through the week so that's mainly impossible (I work from home).

Easha - :crossfingers::pray: for another high temp tomorrow. You're doing so well holding out on a POAS. Your temps look great. Hope for you a BFP is on it's way.

Jenushka - all the best with bean snuggling in really tight. It's always a worry, and I think we worry so much with every little niggle. Rest up and enjoy the next nine months.

Krystie - hope the m/s doesn't last too much longer. Miss you round here.

Joey - hope little aussie is doing okay. I remember reading you saw a little heart beat. That's wonderful.

I'd better go and finish getting tea organised for my lovelies. I'll try to pop back in later.

rach78 - don't be too hard on yourself. I can only imagine how it must be for you to see both of your sisters pregnant. It hurts everywhere, your stomach is tight and all you want to do is cry. But don't forget - your time will come too, and meanwhile, let the negative thoughts overwhelm you, acknowledge them, take a deep breath, and send them away, one day at a time. One day it will be easier than others, but know that you are working on it, creating a welcoming body and mind for your baby to come. I have tried out some meditation CD's and they have been quite helpful to me (I found a website on the Internet where you can actually download them to your iPod). I'd love to give you the site, but I think the guidelines don't allow us to post any links - maybe one of the more experenced ladies can advise how to get the information across to you?

I've only been here for a week, and I have got so many encouraging and welcoming words here, it's really an amazing experience. I am sure it will be the same for you.

A big big :hug: and don't forget: let the qi flow;)

A :grouphug:to all you lovely ladies out there!

Hi ladies,

i see a couple online, is anyone in chat?

Hi and :hug: for AJC! *waving* :stickyvibesgirl:



rach--Ouch, that's a tough situation you're in with your sisters... :( I agree with Milla that you should face and acknowledge your feelings, really deal with each aspect of it, and then it will be easier for you to... I wouldn't say let it go, but you'll be able to face your sisters and feel happy for them, instead of feeling overwhelmed by sadness and jealousy. You really have to acknowledge these feelings, and know that it's ok to feel that way, and know that your sisters understand that while you're happy for them, you're not in a place at the moment where you can celebrate with them yet. You'll get there, it just takes time.... :comfort: We'll help you get there!



hannah--I think it's awesome that you're focusing on reconnecting with your DH. :thumbsup: My DF used to complain that he felt like a sperm donor, and I was much less inclined to want to do anything other than when I was fertile.... and he was right, but that's just the place I was in at the time. I've learned to try to spend as much time with him when I'm NOT fertile, that way he's more likely to want to participate when I am! If the temps right, I hope you've got your BD'ing shoes on! :bd:



issy--Yay for your lunar cycle being in synch with your menstrual cycle! :dance: That means you've got a very high probability for conception this month! :hooray:

Hey fifi! Sorry, I just got your post! I was in the middle of my post when my DS woke up a little bit ago, and I had stepped away from the computer. Didn't get your messages till I sent my post through. Are you still around?

yeah am still hear lurking :dance:

Hi ladies
Have not been around for a while so will try to catch up later.
Milla- Glad you have decided to try counceling, didnt myself but thought about it. Hope it helps.
Rach78- Sorry you are having such a tough time, know how hard it is still feel the same at times myself.:hug:
Jen- :crossfingers: you get that bfp this month
Jenushka- Rest up and take care:hug:
Joey- So glad things are going well for you.
Fifi- Glad you enjoyed hols.
Easha- :crossfingers: for you
Big hello to everyone else ive missed
AFM- af 8 days late poas 2 days late bfn so dont know whats up seems to get later every month.

Rach78- I know how u feel! I have had one loss and been trying for 2 years with no success! everytime i get AF i cry on my partners shoulder. My EDD is coming up in november and i dont know how to deal with it. I hate seeing pregnant women although i know its a terrible thought. my friend was preg at the same time as me even though she was on the pill and that hurt more when she gave birth recently. Im currently waiting on my AF (2 more days) and i dread it. I'm currently also in "a hole" and hate the waiting game and think its one more day closer to taking a baby home. just have a good cry and get some junk food thats what I do!

Jen805- Hi there im going to get the B6 once auntie flow starts on wednesday. and I dont know how long he will be gone, they dont tell you! approx 3 months i think, well he thinks so not toooo long i guess compared to some other soldiers. Anyway have a nicer day than me!

mollycat - Congrats on doing the reno work yourselves. DH tried to do what he could, but always complained that he never had the right tools. I'm happy to wait for people if they do a good job (which they all have so far) and its still much quicker than it takes DH to do. LOL

jen - oops!:redface: I just realised temperature was probably not the right word to use here. Would climate be better? I meant to say that with things between DH and I being so healthy and loving, its got to be good for a chances of conceiving this month. I promised DH that I wouldn't get too obsessed and start charting. It is tempting though, to have that daily ritual.

HannahD - that's exactly why I insisted on a builder to the extension. It would have taken us forever. DH wanted to do it himself but I wouldn't let him. I've been very tempted to ring the builder back and get him in to do this room but I know we can do it cheaper and it's more satisfying.